It Takes a Village to Raise a Child: Raising Resilient Children through Positive Behavioral Supports Clayton R. Cook, PhD, LP Associate Professor School Psychology College of Education Associate Director School Mental Health Assessment, Research, and Training (SMART) Center University of Washington

Big Question? What skills are babies born with?

Gerber Baby

School Awareness Parent Awareness SchoolHome Expectations Monitoring Support Expectations Monitoring Support Teacher-parent contact Behavior, Homework patterns, life stressors Parent- Teacher Contact Tracking grades, behavior, attendance Two Worlds Students Inhabit

What skills enable children to be successful later in life?

Resilience Defined Resilience: the ability to survive and thrive in the face of life’s daily ups and downs, curve balls, and stressors. Survival skills (manage stress, bounce back): Bounce back after a challenging, adverse situation Manage and overcome stressors Minimize life suffering Thriving skills (feeling good & getting the most out of life): Flourishing Optimize mental and physical well-being and quality of life Reaching one’s own full potential

All Children Can Develop Resilience Resilience does not require something rare or special—it’s ordinary magic.

Number of Resilience Factors and Life Satisfaction SOURCE:

Ingredients to becoming a resilient person Developing helpful and optimistic thinking Receiving “good” social support Gratitude practices Good sleep Healthy, reasonable, balanced diet Acts of kindness for others Manage intense negative emotions Regular physical activity Mindfulness-based practices Problem-solving conflicts with others Scheduling time for recreation and relaxation Receiving mentoring Identifying inspiring role models Cultivating positive emotions Goal setting and developing a plan to overcome obstacles

PRACTICE!!!!! Neurons that fire together wire together (Hebb’s Rule) Formation of habits (automatic thoughts, feelings, behaviors)

Child Well-Being

Whole-Person Perspective Academic, social-emotional, and physical functioning are all interconnected (not separate) ACADEMICS SOCIAL- EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL HEALTH

Objective and Subjective Well-Being Grades Attendance Participation in extracurricular activities # of friends $$$$ Sense of belonging or connection Joy for Learning Educational Purpose Self-efficacy Life satisfaction Objective Well-beingSubjective Well-being

All Humans Thrive within Positive Environments— Climate Critical Attention to negative Reactive, punitive Rejecting students Unstructured Can’t you do better Staff not on the same page “You’re not doing it right!” “You’re not doing it right!” “You better or else!” “You better or else!” Compassionate Attention to positive Proactive, supportive Accepting students Structured, organized Encouraging Staff on the same page “You’re doing great!” “You’re doing great!” “You’re a great kid!” “You’re a great kid!”

Ingredients to Promoting and Optimizing Child Well-Being 16

Ingredients to Promoting Child Social, Emotional, and Academic Success Positive relationships so all students feel sense of belonging/acceptance, trust, and understanding Positive, predictable and structured environments that enable children to feel a sense of security and understanding of what is expected of them Teaching of skills, habits, and routines that enable social, emotional, and academic success Developing a sense of agency, purpose, and motivation Focus on meeting children’s needs to be successful (needs-driven focus)

Child-focused supports Home-based supports School-based supports Child Wellbeing & Resilience

Practices that Result in Resilient Children

Avoiding the Blame Game

Adult Skills and Well-being Adults’ skills and their own well-being are stronger predictors of child success than is the amount of money the family makes, the child’s IQ, and quality of academic curriculum

“First, put your oxygen mask on and then proceed to assist others.” Child wellbeing begins with parent or caregiver wellbeing

ACHIEVER Practices A A wareness and Empowerment through mindfulness practices C C hoosing your attention and Practicing gratitude H H elping and doing good deeds for others I I nner helpful & optimistic thoughts E E stablishing good role models and social support V V alues clarification and commitment E E xercise, eat well, and engage in good sleep R R eward yourself through relaxation and recreation

Children benefit greatly from growing up in positive, predictable, and safe environments Clear expectations for behavior and effective limit setting Positive relationships characterized by low conflict Higher ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions High levels of respect & support when the person needs it Adults modeling positive attitude & outlook about life

Scheduling Child Time: Building Strong Relationships and Secure Attachment Scheduling uninterrupted time to engage in a child selected activity. The child takes the lead & selects activity The adult follows the child’s lead and demonstrates interest and enthusiasm VS.

Catch the child behaving good It is human nature to pay more attention to disruptive, annoying, or irritating behaviors than positive ones Purposefully pay close attention to recognize and reinforce good decisions and behaviors 5 to 1 ratio is the key!

Establish, teach, model, & reinforce behavioral expectations Establish 3 to 5 expectations Stated positively (Dos instead of Don’ts) Teachable Memorable Visible Teach the behavioral expectations Tell, show, do Reinforce the child when he exhibits the behavior Precorrection is better than reacting to problem behavior

Simple Proactive Behavior Management 1. Precorrection 2. Behavioral momentum 3. Self-monitoring 4. Choice-making

Effective Discipline: Setting Limits and Consistently Enforcing Them Yelling, threatening, and physical contact need not apply Progressive system of responding to problem behavior Developing natural and logical consequences to problem behavior Withdrawal or restrict access to certain privileges Time-out or Task-based grounding Contribution plan Collaborative problem solving (Ross Greene) Debriefing with the child to figure out how to handle the situation better next time Consistency is the key!

The Foundation: Strong Positive Relationships Proactive Classroom Management Communicating effectively Cultural Competence Progressive Response P roximity control R edirection strategy O ngoing M onitoring P rompt expected behavior T eaching interaction #1 warning of consequence with “Think Time’ #2 delivery in-class disciplinary consequence #3 request for officel support process Reconnect, Repair, & Restore Relationship 30

EXTINCTION BURST EXTINCTION BURST

Helping Parents Understand and Deal with the Extinction Burst Extinction burst = The child’s last ditch effort to get the adult to back down Emotional meltdowns vs. manipulative meltdowns Emotional meltdowns Provide choice (cool down spot or follow instruction) “Not now, later” discipline approach Prompt “Cool down” strategies Manipulative meltdowns Validate child’s feelings and calmly deliver disciplinary consequence and follow through

School-Home Note System Intervention designed to improve the communication and consistency of practices between school and home environments Involves a parent training component to get parents to deliver consequences at home based on their child’s behavior at school Parent can share information with school about outside stressors that may be impacting student behavior at school

School-Home Note Decision Tree COMMUNICATION BEHAVIORAL GOAL MET YES - GOAL MET NO - GOAL UNMET CELEBRATE CHILD’S SUCCESS ENCOURAGE CHILD TO HAVE A BETTER DAY TOMORROW (discipline) SCHOOL/PARENT RESPONSE

Consequences Delivered Celebrating the child’s success (aim is to create positive contrast by making the child’s life more exciting, pleasurable, and/or fun) Access to privileges Computer time, video games, talking on the phone, staying up later, hanging out with friends, TV time Reward with item or activity Buy-out of chore, money, invite friend over, play outside, after dinner dessert, playing with toys, etc. Praise and positive recognition Other

Consequences Delivered Encouraging a better day tomorrow (aim is to create negative contrast by making the child’s life boring, unpleasant, or introducing nothing) Loss of privileges Removal of TV time, computer, video games, playing outside, talking on the phone, or anything else that is considered to be fun Task-based grounding Have the child perform chores that are outside of typical responsibilities Grounded until the chore or chores are completed Contribution Plan Thinking About My Inappropriate Behavior 36

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