ENCOURAGMENT and AFFIRMATION Becca C. Johnson, Ph.D. RFKC Director

RFKC Mailbox Story

“Tree of Life OR Tree of Death”

STORY Cultural Differences…

DEFINITIONS… ENCOURAGE: To give somebody hope, confidence, or courage To urge somebody in a helpful way to do or be something AFFIRMATION: Something asserted a being true

ENCOURAGEMENT & AFFIRMATION are… Sincere Generously given (lavish) Varied Positive not joking or teasing Supportive

ENCOURAGEMENT…  Affirms - brings life  Uplifts  Inspires  Gives hope  Brings freedom  Decreases defeat  Motivates  Provides emotional & psychological healing

“Encouragement’s impact can be profound. A word of encouragement from a teacher to a child can change his life. A word of encouragement from a spouse can save a marriage. A word of encouragement from a leader can inspire a person to reach her potential.” John Maxwell’s Encouragement Changes Everything

ENCOURAGEMENT… REFRHESHES the spirit REINFORCES worth RELEASES confidence RESTORES joy REVIVES the soul From The Gift of Encouragement by Gloria Chisholm

ENCOURAGEMENT… RELIEVES stress REPELS negative thinking REDEEMS emotional damage RENEWS hope From The Gift of Encouragement by Gloria Chisholm

“Years ago an experiment was conducted to measure pain tolerance… how long could a bare-footed person stand in ice water? When there was someone offering encouragement & support, the person standing in the ice water could tolerate pain twice as long as when no one was present.” John Maxwell’s Encouragement Changes Everything

ENCOURAGEMENT…  WHEN?  Before-the-fact: “You can do it!”  After-the-fact: “Good job!”  After failure: “I’m so proud of you for… (trying, not giving up, being brave, facing challenges,…)”  WHAT?  Character  Behavior  Possibilities and Dreams

ENCOURAGEMENT…  HOW?  Words: spoken and/or written  Actions: Physical gestures &/or Presence  Publicly as well as Personally  Gifts  Focus on positive (search for it if hard)  WHO?  Givers & Receivers = Everyone & Anyone

“Accentuate the Positive” “You’ve got to accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative Latch on to the affirmative Don't mess with Mister In-Between You've got to spread joy up to the maximum Bring gloom down to the minimum Have faith or pandemonium’s liable to walk upon the scene To illustrate this last remark, Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark: What did they do just when everything looked so dark?” Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen

ENCOURAGEMENT is…  Not flattery  Not manipulation  Not an opportunity to impose our expectations  Not just a “thank you”  Not just for things that benefit us

SCRIPTURE Hebrews 10:24-25 “Let us consider how to ENCOURAGE one another to love and good deeds.” 1 Thessalonians 2:12, 4:18, 5:11 “…encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God… Encourage each other… Encourage one another and build each other up.”

Words of Affirmation “Good for you! Super job! You did that very well. You’ve got it made. Terrific. That’s great! You’re doing fine. Outstanding. You figured it out. Perfect. Wow! Wonderful. You make it look easy. That’s a great idea. That’s much better. Nice going. Excellent. Sensational. You’re doing beautifully.”

Words of Affirmation “That’s awesome. That’s right. That’s quite an improvement. Good thinking. Nothing can stop you now. You’ve just about got it. First class work. Remarkable. Looks like a pro did it. I’ve never seen anything like it. You’ve made super progress. I didn’t know you could do that. How have you hid such talent?”

Words of Affirmation “Fantastic. You outdid yourself. That’s the right way to do it. Look at you. You’re learning fast. Your brain’s in high gear. You’re getting better every time. You’ve got the hang of it. Congratulations. Keep it up. You remembered. Exactly right. I knew you could do it. I’m very proud of you. Cool.”

ENCOURAGERS… See the POTENTIAL See the POSITIVE See the POSSIBILITIES They see with God’s eyes.

APPLICATION Am I an ‘encouraging’ person, one who gives encouragement easily and often? Do I give encouragement with ‘strings attached’? What can I do to be better at affirming others? How can I help others to be better at affirming others? What can I do at RFKC to ensure an atmosphere of affirmation? Make up a jingle about encouragement, OR Make a list of ideas/ways to encourage (be creative and list as many as possible).

ENCOURAGMENT and AFFIRMATION Becca C. Johnson, Ph.D. RFKC Director