Meredith Naidorf, MD Psychiatrist in Private Practice New York, NY

 Grief is a reaction to loss  Which invites the question….

 Death  Breakup  End of any important relationship  Realization a dream will never come true (infertility, fantasy about perfect parents)  Early Loss coming up again later

 Emotions  Thoughts  Sixth Sense Experiences  Physical Sensations  Behaviors

 Loss may be something that happens to you, but grief is a process you go through  There is no right or wrong way to grieve  Grieving and not grieving can both change you  Denial and the wish not to grieve

 There is no prescription, no right way, no wrong way  Models that describe grievers  Elizabeth Kubler-Ross  Bowlby and Parkes  Worden

 The 5 stages:  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance  Designed for grief over one’s own impending death  It’s a cycle, not a straight line (or a vortex)  Meant to be descriptive, not prescriptive  Wish for the world to make sense again  No one can tell you how to grieve

 Acceptance of your own process  Listen to your needs and be kind to yourself  Family and Friends  Support Groups like AMF  Therapy  Are medications appropriate?  Grief as a spiritual or religious journey

 Try to give yourself permission to feel however you feel right now  Feeling sad (or any other emotion) now does not mean you will feel sad forever  Engaging in the process will help you to come out on the other side  Refusing to feel our feelings leaves us frozen in time with those difficult feelings we are scared to engage with

 Try not to judge yourself for feeling however you feel  And if you do judge yourself, try to let that be without judging the judgment  Ask yourself what you need right now, what would feel like the best self care

 Great if they’re supportive  It’s ok if you don’t experience your friends or family as understanding– you don’t have to reach out if it makes you feel worse  Just being around people who care about you may feel soothing.

 Connecting through your grief  Letting yourself be known by people who want to support you  Grief is not a contest  You are not alone, others have had similar experiences

 Therapy is a special way of talking and listening that is helpful  Many types  Supportive  Psychodynamic  Mindfulness-based  Mixed modality  Different from friendship  Can be transformational  Is there a stigma?

 Grief and Depression are different  It’s normal and healthy to feel sad over a loss  You might want to consider meds if:  Recurrent suicidal thoughts  Mood/anxiety getting in the way of functioning over time  Prolonged sleep/appetite/energy/concentration disturbances  Meds and therapy are not mutually exclusive– they can work well together

 Grief can be a transformational experience  Deeper relationship to self, other, the world  Widen your awareness  Meditation while grieving  Yoga while grieving

 Grief is a reaction to loss that may be experienced in mind, body, and soul  Each person’s grieving process, like each person, may have similarities and differences with others  Ask yourself what you need most right now. Resources available include self-love and acceptance, drawing support from family and friends, support groups like AMF, psychotherapy, medication, spiritual practice

 Meredith Naidorf, MD  (917)  Thank you!