Relationship Development

Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model Step #1: Initiation Very short (Sometimes just seconds) Want to make favorable first impressions Observe general appearance and mannerisms Use standard greetings (Hello, How are you?)

Step #2: Experimenting Gain information through asking questions Decide whether or not to continue relationship Many relationships do not continue pass this point What is your zodiac sign? Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model

Step #3: Intensifying It is common in this stage to self-disclose Relationship becomes less formal Begin to see each other as individuals Each person states the level of commitment they have to the relationship Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model

Stage #4: Integrating Instead of being individuals they become a pair Others view them as being together or a pair This is a shared relational identity “We” rather than “I” or “You” Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model

Stage #5: Bonding Formal or legal announcement of the relationship is made Marriage Business Agreement Very few relationships will ever reach this level Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model

Phenomenological Approach: Created by psychologist Carl Rogers People draw close to others when their outward behavior is congruent with their inner feelings They unconditionally accept others for who they are, not for what they do They listen to what others say with the understanding of what it’s like to be them. The Practice of Relationship Development

Rewards and Costs of Interaction: The Social Exchange Theory Situations in relationships where benefits exceed costs or Situations where benefits equal costs If benefits outweigh the costs, then the relationship is more worthwhile and likely to survive, than a relationship where costs exceed benefits. The Practice of Relationship Development

Sociological/Incidental Cues: Restrictions on who we meet due to where we live or work. An example is Lesley has the same schedule as Dan. They see each other every day. Lesley and Mark, however, have different schedules. Mark is a great guy and Lesley might really have liked Mark more than Dan, but they never had the chance to meet each other. Pre-interaction: The information we have about people before we even meet them. This allows us decide if we want to avoid them or meet them. An example of this is Dan saw Lesley and thought she was very beautiful, so he asked one of his friends about her. His friend told him she was very smart and fun to be around. Dan also asked about the girl Lesley was walking with. Dan’s friend told him that she didn’t have a very good reputation and was not very smart either. This led Dan to ask Lesley out instead of her friend. Duck’s Relationship Filtering Model

Interaction Cues: Decide whether to include or exclude person from possible relationships. For instance: Once Dan and Lesley talked over their first few dates, they decided they wanted to continue dating more seriously because what they had judged about one another was positive. Cognitive Cues: The deepest level. Decide if personalities match our own. Other person becomes best friend or partner. An example of this is when Lesley had a problem with one of her friends; she came to Dan to talk about it. She and Dan shared the same beliefs about the disagreement, allowing Lesley to trust Dan and feel they were on the same level. She feels like she can confide in Dan and he will always understand. Duck’s Relationship Filtering Model

Step #1: Differentiating Begin to use “Me” no longer “We” Become more independent Start own hobbies Warning sign that partners need to address status Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model

Step #2: Circumscribing Diminishing communication Couple still appears normal to others Attempts can be made to get relationship to a positive place again Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model

Step #3 Stagnating Avoid discussing relationship because each knows what other has to say Outsiders tend to notice that something is wrong Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model

Step #4: Avoiding Physically the couple separates from each other Avoid each other completely No longer attached to each other Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model

Step #5: Terminating Last and final stage of the relationship Can be a positive or a negative thing Relationship is completely over Could be a divorce or roommates moving out Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model

Citations Knapp, Mark. (1984). Interpersonal communication and human relationships. Boston: Allyn and Bacon. Retrieved Saturday, November 25, 2006 from Interpersonal Communication. Duck, Stephen. (1985). Social and personal relationships. In M.L. Knapp and G.R. Miller (Eds.) Handbook of interpersonal communication (pp ). Beverly Hills, CA: Sage. Retrieved Saturday, November 25, 2006 from Interpersonal Communication. A first look at communication theory sixth edition Em Griffin. McGraw Hill, New York, New York Retrieved Saturday, November 06, 2006 from Don Lowe. Clipartheaven Website. (2004). Retrieved Saturday, November 25, 2006 from