PRINCIPAL’S COFFEE HABIT ONE FROM THE SEVEN HABITS December 5, 2011 Excerpts taken from The Leader In Me by Steven Covey

The Seven Habits Private Victory Habit one – Be Proactive Habit two – Begin with the end in mind Habit three – Put first thing first Public Victory Habit four – Think win-win (bucket) Habit five – Seek first to understand, then to be understood Habit six – Synergize (work together) Habit seven – Sharpen the saw (Take care of self) (Basic needs: physical, social-emotional, mental, spiritual) Habit eight – Finding your voice/talent

Quotes for The Leader in Me “Leadership is about unleashing the whole person toward inspiring and worthwhile goals….It is about engaging their hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits. It is also about optimizing students’ gifts and unleashing their talents.” Henry David Thoreau “The woods would be silent if no bird sang but the best.” “Every child is important. Every child has gifts. Every child has potential. Every child can be a leader.”

We want our children to be: Pro-Active: to take responsibility for their actions, to acknowledge mistakes rather than blaming others or making excuses, to show initiative, and to remain in charge of their emotions.

Habit One - Be Proactive for Parents Underlying Paradigms/Principles You choose your actions and the “weather” of your mind. You choose your response to how others treat you. In other words, your child does not “make” you angry; only you can choose to be angry Patience is a proactive choice. Key Actions Stop and think. Ask: What is the right thing to do? Gain control of your emotions. Walk away for a time if need be. Focus on matters within your influence, not on matters outside your control. Take responsibility for actions rather than blaming others or making lame excuses.

Quotes to Discuss Parents – Discuss the following quotes at your table with other parents. How can you use the ideas from the quotes to help develop your child into a leader?

Quotes to discuss Goethe – “Treat a man as he is and you make him worse than he is. Treat a man as he has the potential to become and you make him better than he is.” “Leadership is communicating people’s worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.” “Every child has leadership, the challenge is how to bring it out, how to nurture it.” “If you treat all students as if they are gifted in at least some aspect, they will rise to that level of expectation.”

The Power of Principles for Parents We cannot protect our children 24/7 so the best way for us to help our children is to instill within them the internal desire to make right choices, even when no one else is watching. One way is to teach them the correct principles - the earlier the better. The principles will always stay the same even as a child’s world changes drastically throughout the years. These principles protect children against negative social influences, but they also will enable young people to succeed in the new reality.

Parents could work on these four steps: Step 1 – Inspire Trust. Remember the key to inspiring trust is modeling. The best way for children to learn is see their parents model the principles themselves. Relating, letting them know you care about them, spending time with them, and letting them feel your love is important.

Step 2 – Clarifying purpose. Why are these principles of leadership important for your child? What goals do you have for your child? What goals does your child want to pursue? When was the last time you asked about their goals? What family and/or individual milestones can be set in place to help your child achieve their goals? What is the strategy for achieving the milestones? This might be a great time to make a family mission statement.

Step 3 – Align systems. How will you get your children to “buy in” to learning these leadership principles? How will the principles be taught? Will they be taught directly, or in a ubiquitous manner, such as identifying them in movies, in books, during family vacations, or during sporting activities? In pursuing your family goals, what leadership roles will your children take on? How will adherence to the principles be rewarded? How will accountability for going against principles be handled?

Step 4 – Unleash talent. What specific talents or “gifts” do you want to nurture or expand in your children? How will you nurture those gifts and set them free in your child? Will you do all the planning and goal setting in your family, or will your children be involved in planning family activities or in setting their own goals? How will you let them know you trust them?

Next Principal’s Coffee January 30, 2012 Concern or comments Future Agenda Items: Habit 2 Habit 3