Gentleness Gentleness vs. Harshness Showing consideration and personal concern for others.

People in general have learned to hide their gentleness because of the hurt that they have experienced. Hearts are flowers; they remain open to the softly fallen dew, but shut up in the violent downpour of rain. – Jean Paul Richter How we treat people determines if the flower is open or closed.

Gentleness is putting any abrasive feelings or actions to rest before confronting any individual. There are simple rules to being gentle, but all must include caring. In order for you to be gentle with someone, you must first learn to care about someone. Do you care?

Gentleness is the main ingredient in defusing anger. It calms the boss who came to work angry, the dad who was tired when he came home from work, the child who was made fun of in school. It is the stimulator to those who are depressed, the upper for those who are down. There is no peace where there is no gentleness.

Rules: Actively seek to make others feel at ease around you. Be sensitive to the ideas and opinions of others. Welcome their ideas and opinions with a smile. People tend to feel comfortable and safe in the presence of someone who is gentle.

Show respect to other people: When you need to change a person’s opinion or idea, do so with persuasion and kindness rather than intimidation. Avoid blunt speech and abrupt manner. Be sensitive to how others react to your words; consider how they feel.

When it is necessary to scold someone, also include encouragement. Don’t be threatened by opposition; gently instruct. Do not belittle, degrade, or gossip about anyone else; those actions demonstrate harshness.

Harsh: being course, rough, grating, discordant, rude; Offensive to one’s feelings. People who do not care about another person’s feelings are harsh, and will not get far in any attempt to reconcile with that person. Gentleness brings about reconciliation and peace in the middle of battles.

Example: John came to work and noticed that his desk was full of papers that his secretary was supposed to clean up the night before. When his secretary came to work, in his anger he told her that she was worthless and if she wanted to work there she must always keep it clean.

What could he have said differently that could have had a better effect? How do you feel her response would have been if he would have been more gentle? It’s the little things in life that count, the little statements that people react to and meditate on. Gentleness can change a person’s life forever.

Quotes: *Gentleness is a mother's touch, concern, and patience with the folly of children. *Gentleness is the macho he-man's caressing and cuddling of a frightened young infant in the middle of the night. *Gentleness is timing, sensitivity, perceptiveness of another's mood, fragility, or vulnerability. *Gentleness is kindness and the befriending of a person considered by society as of “lower status.”

*Gentleness is refraining from lecturing, rebuking, or talking down to the hurting confidant *Gentleness is a soft word of assurance or hope to a fearful child, friend, or other loved one. *Gentleness is (for men) always cherishing and treating women with respect, with chivalry, and with a delicate, soft, tender touch (figuratively and literally). *Gentleness is (for women) being slow to criticize, tear down, or nag us so-flawed men.

Gentleness is moderation in response to extremity, meekness in response to condescension, humility in response to compliments, calmness in response to anger. Gentleness is a character quality that you can have.

How can you treat someone differently at work so they can respond in a more positive way? *Don’t respond quickly to anything. *Always put yourself in their shoes. *Validate their feelings. *Be kind and polite in your thought-out response. *Follow up to make sure everything is fine. (communicate)

Group Sally came to work without her work done for an important meeting. Three other people had finished theirs, and needed hers to finish the project. They were very upset at her laziness and had to do something about it. How would you handle this situation using gentleness? Sally came to work without her work done for an important meeting. Three other people had finished theirs, and needed hers to finish the project. They were very upset at her laziness and had to do something about it. How would you handle this situation using gentleness? Role play this with four people.