THE ADOLESCENT WITHIN THE THERAPIST Alan Flashman MD Family Institute NEVE YERUSHALIM

Robert Kegan

REALM OF THE HAND REGULATION Doing – mother’s Doing – mother’s Result – baby’s Result – baby’s E.g. security E.g. security

REALM OF THE EYE Intersubjective Differences Differences Curiosity Curiosity Co-creation Co-creation Presence Presence

REGULATION INTER- SUBJECTIV E

ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENTAL BREAKDOWN Physical puberty Physical puberty Emotional puberty Emotional puberty Central masturbation fantasy Central masturbation fantasy Being “adult” Being “adult” Sexually Sexually Emotionally Emotionally Relinquishing “oedipal parents” Relinquishing “oedipal parents”

ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENTAL BREAKDOWN Remaining a child Remaining a child Sexually: Sexually: Perversion Perversion “broken” = small “broken” = small Central fantasy as a child with adult Central fantasy as a child with adult Emotionally Emotionally Ongoing struggle with oedipal parents Ongoing struggle with oedipal parents

6 ME BY MY- SELF BLOCK TOWER 5 ME BY MY- SELF 6 WE CAN TO- GE- THER 6 NOT BY MY- SELF ???? ZONE OF PROXIMAL DEVELOPMENT L.S. VYGOTSKY

WE CAN TOGETHER

ZONE OF PROXIMAL GROWTH

client Client’ therapist Therapist’ " שלא תיבהלו ממני !!

DIFFERENTIATION OF SELF IN SYSTEM “I” - POSITION “I” - POSITION TRIANGLES TRIANGLES CO-CREATION CO-CREATION MURRAY BOWEN

HIGH DIFFERENTIATION: TRIADS

LOW DIFFERENTIATION: TRIANGLES

DIFFERENTIATION HIGH LOW

Yonatan Darmon Tsfat

DIFFERENTIATION LOW I AM ERASED AM ERASED YOU YOU ARE ERASED ARE ERASED WE WE DO NOT CHANGE DO NOT CHANGEHIGH I WANT/FEEL YOU YOU = ENDS WE WE = CO-CREATION

REGULATION INTER- SUBJECTIV E DIFERENTIATIO N

CROSSROADS OF DIFFERENTIATION CHANGE IN ROLE OF CHILD CHANGE IN ROLE OF PARENT CO-CREATION INCREASE IN DIFFERENTIATION NO CO-CREATION DECREASE IN DIFFERENTIATION

CO-CREATION INCREASE IN DIFFERENTIATION NO CO-CREATION DECREASE IN DIFFERENTIATION THERAPIST MAKES USE OF: EXPERIENCES WITH PARENTS OTHER EXPERIENCES WHAT IS EXPECTED CURIOSITY AND PRESENCE THERAPIST CAUGHT IN: EXPERIENCES DO NOT MATTER NO CHANGE IS BEST CUTOFF VS ENMESHED SACRIFICE FOR OTHER RELATIONS VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE NO GROWTH

REFERENCES פלשמן א. ואבנט, ח. (עורכים) תקשורת טיפולית עם מתבגרים, ירושלים, 2005 Murray Bowen, Family Theory in Clinical Practice, Murray Bowen, Family Theory in Clinical Practice, Robert Kegan, The Evolving Self, M. Laufer & M. Egle Laufer, Adolescence and Developmental Breakdown, 1984 Daniel Stern, The Interpersonal World of the Infant, The Present Moment, L. S. Vygotsky, Mind in Society, 1978.