Agenda Analytical Report Slides Exercise 5.3 Letter Writing (20 Minutes) Cluster Diagramming vs Outlining Proofreading

Chapter 5 Preparing to Write Business Messages Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Copyright © 2006

Business writing is . . . Purposeful. It solves problems and conveys information. Economical. It is concise. Reader oriented. It focuses on the receiver, not the sender. 2

Guffey’s 3-x-3 Writing Process Phase 1: Prewriting Analyzing, anticipating, adapting Phase 2: Writing Researching, organizing, composing Phase 3: Revising Revising, proofreading, evaluating 3

Analyzing and Anticipating Analyze the task Identify the purpose Anticipate the audience Primary receivers? Secondary receivers? Select the best channel Importance of the message? Feedback required? Permanent record required? Cost of the channel? Degree of formality? 4

Adapting to Task and Audience Spotlight receiver benefits (the warranty starts working for you immediately). Cultivate the “you” view (you will receive your order). Use sensitive language avoiding gender, race, age, and disability biases (office workers, not office girls). 5

Adapting to Task and Audience Express thoughts positively (you will be happy to, not you won't be sorry that). Use familiar words (salary, not remuneration). Use precise, vigorous words (fax me, not contact me). 5

Developing Reader Benefits Sender-focused “We are requiring all staffers to complete these forms in compliance with company policy.” Receiver-focused “Please complete these forms so that you will be eligible for health and dental benefits.”

Developing Reader Benefits Sender-focused “Because we need more space for our new inventory, we’re staging a two-for-one sale.” Receiver-focused “You can buy a year’s supply of paper and pay for only six months’ worth during our two-for-one sale.”

Hidden Negative Meanings You are wrong . . . . (I am right.) You do not understand . . . . (You are not very bright.) Your delay . . . . (You are at fault.) You forgot to . . . . (You are not only inefficient but also stupid and careless.) 10

Use Bias-Free Language Gender-Biased female attorney waitress man hours workman Improved attorney server working hours worker Biased Each employee has his ID card. Improved Each employee has an ID card. All employees have ID cards. 10

Use Courteous Language Less Courteous Everyone must return these forms by January 1. More Courteous Please return the forms by January 1. This is the second time I’ve had to write! Why can’t you get my account straight? Attached is my previous letter. Please help me straighten out this account. 10

Use Simple, Familiar Language Unfamiliar We need to effectuate improvement of our manuals to better elucidate our training goals. Familiar We need to improve our manuals to clarify our training goals. Sales reps generally conjecture when making sales projections for homogeneous territories. Sales reps generally guess when projecting sales in similar territories. 10

Adapting to Legal Responsibilities Avoid litigation by using especially careful language in four areas: Investment information Safety information Marketing information Human resources information 13

Chapter 6 Organizing and Writing Business Messages Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Copyright © 2006

Formal Research Methods Access electronically – Internet, databases, CD-ROMs Search manually – books, articles, and other secondary sources Investigate primary sources – interviews, surveys, focus groups Experiment scientifically – tests with experimental and control groups 2

Organizing Data Listing and outlining Grouping ideas into patterns. Direct pattern for receptive audiences Indirect pattern for unreceptive audiences 5

Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization If pleased If neutral DIRECT PATTERN Good News or Main Idea If mildly interested 8

Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization If unwilling or uninterested If hostile INDIRECT PATTERN If displeased or disappointed Bad News or Main Idea 8

Using a Cluster Diagram to Generate Ideas 1. In the center of a clean sheet of paper, write your topic name and circle it. 2. Around the circle, record any topic ideas that pop into your mind. 3. Circle each separate area. 4. Avoid censoring ideas. 5. If ideas seem related, join them with lines; don’t spend time on organization just yet. 4

Organizing Cluster Diagram Ideas Into Subclusters Tips Analyze the idea generated in the original cluster diagram. Cross out ideas that are obviously irrelevant; simplify and clarify. Add new ideas that seem appropriate. Study the ideas for similarities. 6

Organizing Cluster Diagram Ideas Into Subclusters Tips Group similar ideas into classifications (such as Purpose, Content, Development, and Form). If the organization seems clear at this point, prepare an outline. For further visualization, make subcluster circles around each classification. 6

Creating Effective Sentences Recognize phrases and clauses. Use short sentences. Emphasize important ideas. Use the active voice for most sentences. Use the passive voice to deemphasize the performer and/or to be tactful. Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers. 11

Recognizing Phrases and Clauses Clauses have subjects and verbs; phrases do not. Independent clauses are complete; dependent clauses are not. Phrases and dependent clauses cannot function as sentences. Independent Clause: They were eating cold pizza. Dependent Clause: that they want to return for a refund Phrase: to return for a refund 12

Using Short Sentences Sentence Length Comprehension Rate 8 words 100% 90% 80% 50% Source: American Press Institute

Emphasizing Important Ideas Position the most important idea at the beginning of the sentence. Make sure the most important idea is the subject of the sentence. Place the main idea in a short sentence. 14

Use the Active Voice for Most Sentences Active voice: We lost money. Active voice: I sent the e-mail message yesterday. (The subject is the performer.) 15

Use the Passive Voice To Deemphasize the Performer and/or To Be Tactful Passive voice: Money was lost (by us). Passive voice: The e-mail message was sent yesterday (by me). (Passive voice test: Ask “By whom?” If you can fill in the performer, the verb is probably in the passive voice.) 16

Effective Paragraphs Drafting effective paragraphs Discuss only one topic in each paragraph. Arrange sentences in a strategic plan. Link ideas to build coherence. Use transitional expressions for coherence. Compose short paragraphs for effective business messages. 20

Effective Paragraphs Discussing only one topic in each paragraph Group similar ideas together. Start a new paragraph for each new topic. 21

Arranging Sentences in a Strategic Plan Effective Paragraphs Arranging Sentences in a Strategic Plan Direct Plan: main sentence followed by supporting sentences (for defining, classifying, illustrating, and describing ideas) Pivoting Plan: limiting sentences, main sentence, supporting sentences (for comparing and contrasting) 22

Effective Paragraphs Using transitional expressions for coherence Recommended expressions: additionally also as a result for example in other words therefore 24

Chapter 7 Revising Business Messages Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 5e Copyright © 2006

Revising for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability Keep it simple. Keep it conversational. Remove opening fillers. Eliminate redundancies. Reduce compound prepositions. Purge empty words. 2

Revising for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability Kick the noun habit. Dump trite “business” phrases. Develop parallelism (balanced construction). Apply graphic highlighting. Measure readability. 2

Keep it simple. Avoid indirect, pompous language. Poor: It would not be inadvisable for you to affix your signature at this point in time. Improved: You may sign now.

Keep it conversational. Formal: Our Accounting Department takes this opportunity to inform you that we have credited your account for the aforementioned sum. Conversational: We have credited your account for $100.

Remove opening fillers. Wordy: There are four new menu items we must promote. Improved: We must promote four new menu items.

Eliminate redundancies. collect together contributing factor personal opinion perfectly clear

Reduce compound prepositions. at such time at which time due to the fact that inasmuch as Reduce to when. Reduce to because.

Purge empty words. As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged. This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line. Not all students who are registered will attend. 8

Purge empty words. As for the area of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged. This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line. Not all students who are [registered] will attend. 8

Purge empty words. As for athletic shoes, profits sagged. We have a toll-free service line. Not all [registered] students will attend. 8

Dump trite "business" phrases. Trite: Pursuant to your request, enclosed please find a job application. Improved: As requested, we have enclosed a job application.

Develop parallelism (balanced construction). Not parallel: We can collect information, store it, and later it can be updated. Parallel: We can collect, store, and update information.

Use Numbered Lists for “High Skim” Value Follow these steps to archive a document: Select the document. Select a folder. Provide a file name. Click “Save.”

Use Bulleted Lists for “High Skim” Value Consumers expect the following information at product Web sites: Price Quality Performance Availability

The Complete Process 1. Prewriting Analyze Anticipate Adapt

The Complete Process 1. Prewriting 2. Writing Analyze Research Anticipate Adapt 2. Writing Research Organize Compose

The Complete Process 1. Prewriting Analyze Anticipate Adapt 2. Writing Research Organize Compose 3. Revising Revise Proofread Evaluate

1. Prewriting Analyze: Define your purpose. Select the most appropriate form (channel). Visualize the audience. Anticipate: Put yourself in the reader’s position and predict his or her reaction to this message. Adapt: Consider ways to shape the message to benefit the reader, using his or her language. 32

2. Writing Research: Collect data formally and informally. Generate ideas by brainstorming and clustering. Organize: Group ideas into a list or an outline. Select the direct or indirect strategy. Compose: Write first draft, preferably on a computer. 33

3. Revising Revise: Revise for clarity, tone, conciseness, and vigor. Revise to improve readability. Proofread: Proofread to verify spelling, grammar, punctuation, and format. Check for overall appearance. Evaluate: Ask yourself whether the final product will achieve its purpose. 34

Try This Read the following sentence counting the F’s as you go: Federal fuses are the result of years of scientific study combined with the years of experience Write the number of F’s Here: _______

Try This Now read the sentence backwards counting the F’s: Federal fuses are the result of years of scientific study combined with the years of experience Write the number of F’s Here: _______