Social-emotional development of the preschooler Unit 5

Taking the Initiative Becoming more independent Improved abilities Limitless energy Strong desire to learn and explore

Erikson – Initiative vs. Guilt Initiative = The ability to think or act without being urged. Developing initiative is important because it sets the stage for ambitions later in life. Yet, initiative can lead to failures. Too many failures can lead to guilt. Guilt = Blaming yourself for something done wrong. SO… caregivers need to make sure children know that it is OK to make mistakes! All of this is according to Erik Erikson. Do you agree? Disagree? Why? What are your thoughts? Can you think of a time when you took the initiative as a child to try something new? Did you succeed? Did you fail? Think about a time when you did fail at something… did you feel this “guilt” that Erkison is talking about? How did your parents/caregivers/siblings help you overcome it?

Showing Responsibility First step toward dependence Adults should show examples Select age-appropriate tasks What are some chores that would be appropriate for a preschooler?

Emotional Patterns Increased need – independence Many will venture out of the home environment for the first time Preschool, Headstart, kindergarten Unfamiliar adults, large group of kids Each child responds differently Certain milestones

Four Years Most still self-centered Defiant, impatient, loud & boastful Might argue & be bossy (kids & adults) Other times = loving & affectionate Need & seek approval of parents & caregivers Want to see self as separate from parent/caregiver Want to do things for their self (independence) Vocabulary & language skills – improve Test sounds of language Rude words – test adult reaction

Four Years Active Imagination Rich fantasy life Mind cannot separate fantasy from reality Active imagination + fantasy = FEARS Caregivers – acknowledge fears & talk about them

Five Years View self as a whole person (mind, body & feelings) Eager to explore, however they will experience fear of unfamiliar people, places & experiences May experience anxiety or stress about the strangeness of school & unfamiliar routines Important to help them cope – listening to concerns, offer love & support

Five Years Emotionally Impulse Wander around, talk, play – whenever they want School – must sit still, listen & focus Start to learn to control their impulses Feel more empathy for others (understand how someone else feels) Better able to play together Able to see another person’s point of view

Six Years Emotional turmoil – state of extreme confusion or agitation Find role outside of the home Long to feel grown up – small & dependent Stubborn & quuarrelsome Center of the own universe Please others to win praise for self Behavior horrible for parents Rapid mood changes Stronger feelings of happiness & joy Appreciation of more activities Nice time to start activities

Emotions As Children grow – better able to recognize & express a variety of emotions Growing feeling of competence – master various activities – helps control their emotions Continue to experience fear – however nature of those fear change

Anger Think back to when you were younger, how did you express your anger?? Has it changed?? Why??

Anger and Aggression Anger – Expression changes the most during early childhood Anger and Aggression being around 10 months of age. They peak with displays of temper in the toddler years and continue in the preschool years. Preschoolers tend to hit and bite less than toddlers. Yet they tend to threaten and yell more! Boys are more physical and girls are more verbal even in the preschool stage!

Anger & Ages Four years Five years Six Years episodes last longer Use physical violence Threaten & attempt to get even Five years More likely to hurt other children’s feeling than hurt them physically Six Years More hurtful with words Tease, nag & make fun

Anger Frustration – major cause of anger Child’s tolerance for frustration increases as they grow Former frustrations – eliminated By 6, better social skills = deal with situations that lead to anger Disagreements with other kids – common cause Use scapegoats Criticism – another source Scold a child for doing something wrong – child will try to punish parent by breaking another rule

Anger Varies greatly in children Children ten to imitate the behavior of adults Caregivers – express anger in appropriate ways Page 407. Analyze

Fear Imagination – major emotional force Ghosts, monsters Dark, being left alone, abandoned, thunder, lightning, school

Critical Thinking Page 409

How can Caregivers help?? Accept the fear Listen, saying you understand- great help Never say that fear does not exist, it DOES to the CHILD Let the child express fear without ridicule Fear being made fun of May not open up Help the child feel able to face the fear Talking & act help Reading a book

Fear Sometimes, fears are justified. Action must be taken Bully at school

Jealousy Sibling rivalry – common Caregivers – unintentionally make the problem worse May try to improve behavior by comparing Damage a child’s self-esteem & undermine family relationships Express feelings by: Tattling Criticizing Lying

Caregivers Encourage cooperation & empathy Avoid taking sides Give children a change to work through their own problems Sibling rivalry tends to fade

Worry Children worry Tension – emotional stress Fire in home Stranger taking them Bully in the neighborhood Active imagination

Worry Emotional strain & Physical symptoms Stomachaches, headaches, and sleeping difficulties Cry, scream or throw tantrums Bite nails, swing legs or grind teeth

Ways to reduce worry & tension Look for the cause Ask them to draw a picture Give children time to calm down Time out Provide chances to get rid of tension Physical way of releasing stress Read a book about the issue causing stress Maintain normal limits on behavior Do not ease up on limits

At your table, Create a list of issues and situations that might cause stress in children 4-6.

Questions??? What is self-confidence?? How can you build a child’s self-confidence? Who is more physical in expressing violence

Self-Confidence New skills & dealing with unfamiliar situations = increased self-confidence Self-confidence – belief in one’s own abilities Start taking the initiative & making decisions on their own Erikson – encouragement = self-confidence Repeated discouragement/punishment = feelings of inferiority or inadequacy

Self-Confidence Provide opportunities for preschoolers to perform well Internal satisfaction goes farther than praise Self-esteem will help develop self-control See world in terms of all or nothing How will this hinder their self-esteem??

Self-Confidence All or nothing Projects – does not go their way = “I can’t do anything right” Self-esteem & self-confidence = lowered Important – children experience more successes than failures

Self-Confidence Show Respect Give Praise & Encouragement Plan Actives Offer choices “Because I said so” – not effective Give Praise & Encouragement Good Job, I appreciate that Plan Actives Challenging, but not overwhelming Children need down time Encourage Individuality Opportunities

Write a dialogue Between a parent and child in which the parent is encouraging the child. Write an effective dialogue, one with a purpose, use appropriate language and quotation marks. Make sure it reflects the age, personality and background of each person.

Causes of Anger and Aggression Preschoolers use aggression to Get their way Hurt another Gain attention Gain affection

Fear and Anxiety Some toddler fears fade away and preschoolers develop new fears, some increase. Fear of the unknown Monsters, Robbers Fear of physical injury Fear of death by fire, auto accident, drowning, the fear of bites from insects or animals Fear of pain caused by medical and dental work Anxiety of a general nature Fear of a tornado may spread to thunderstorms and high winds I LOVED going to the dentist as a kid! I think I’m one in a million who do… but I always loved going. How many of you feared going to the dentist?

Feeling and Controlling Emotions Preschoolers still react to common childlike stressors (situations that cause stress) These may include: Illness Moving Death Adult quarrels Divorce

Feeling and Controlling Emotions Controlling outward signs of emotions such crying, screaming and hitting to help children become socially acceptable! However, if children control emotions without admitting their underlying feelings to themselves and others, they may become emotionally troubled. Children need to express themselves! “I am angry.” “I am afraid.”

Dependency Preschoolers feel a conflict between their need for dependence and independence! Sometimes preschoolers ask for help and they really do need it and other times they ask for help even when they don’t!  Emotional Dependence: The act of seeing attention, approval, comfort and contact. Do you think that some teenagers feel a conflict between their need for dependence and independence, too? It may not exist for you… but if it does… how is it different from a preschooler? And sometimes…. Preschoolers don’t ask for help and the need it! 

Social & Moral Development With your knowledge of a preschooler’s emotional development, what problems might occur when preschoolers play in a group??

General Social Patterns As children enter preschool and kindergarten they must learn three important social skills How to interact with new people How to make friends How to work & play in organized groups Learn to take direction & accept authority from others outside the home Determine right and wrong – act accordingly

How do you think social development will differ at the different ages: 4, 5 & 6

Four Years Form friendships with playmates Engage in cooperative play Play in groups of 3-4 Share toys, take turns Often bossy & inconsiderate – fights Family is still more important Seek approval, “I’m good at drawing pictures, aren’t I?

Five Years More outgoing & talkative Play in groups of 5-6 Play – more complicated Fights – less frequent Name-calling & wild threats More respect for other’s belongings Concerned – what their friends say and do Do not want to be thought as different – they do not want to be ridicule Gossip starts (friends, who has what toys) What the group values, behaviors that are desirable

Six Years Social relations – friction, threats & stubbornness They want everything Want to do things their way Best friends – usually same sex Play in mixed groups No regard for team effort – they will just stop playing

What would you do?? You are caregiver playing a game with a five year old boy and his eight year old sister. The boy is obviously cheating. His sister is about to complain. What do you do??

Family Relations 4 years 5 years 6 years Close ties Want to feel important Proud – help with chores Quarrel & bicker w/siblings 5 years Delight in helping at home Play better with siblings Protective of younger siblings 6 years Do not get along well with family members Self-centered Argue with adult family members Rough & impatient with younger siblings Fight with older siblings

What do you think??? Why do you think it is emotionally difficult for some parents to enforce the standards of behaviors they have set for their children?

Moral Development The process of learning to base one’s behavior on beliefs about what is right and wrong Begins early in life Preschoolers start to learn the reasons for rules They start to develop conscience – inner sense of right and wrong that guides an individual’s behavior Rules they learn in ECH – form the basis of their developing conscience

Do you think that boys and girls develop a sense of right and wrong at the same time?? Support your answers with evidence.

Guidelines for Moral Development Set clear standards of behavior Respond to inappropriate behavior Talk about mistakes in private Understand children will test your limits Consider the child’s age & abilities It is a lifelong task to learn self discipline Continue to show love despite misbehavior

Handling Lying Remember: Preschoolers have a hard time telling fantasy from reality. At times, they are not deliberately lying. You can show you know the difference, “ I will listen to your story and then I need to know what really happened.” Lying at this is a misunderstanding Child may think they completed task – so they will tell you they did. However, you do not think so Be sure the child understands the instructions/directions

Handling Lying Sometimes – they do tell deliberate lies Consider: Get attention Avoid punishment Please others & not risk losing love Consider: Does he know he lied? Why is he lying? Do you need more information? Is the child Asking for attention

Model Moral Behavior Everyday actions Children learn by following an example – learned behavior Do not send mixed messages Television, movies & other media – influences

Questions Identify characteristics that marks the emotional development of 4-6 year olds List five ways to reduce worry and tension Describe how to help children develop self- confidence List three social skills children must learn as they begin school. Identify chacteristics of family relations of 4-6 year olds

Questions Explain the relationship between imagination and fear in the mind of a preschooler. Describe how initiative and self-confidence are related. Explain how parents/caregivers should handle lying.

Resolving Conflicts Preschoolers spend a lot of time with other children = conflict Aggressive Behavior – hostile and at times, destructive behaviors that people display when faced with conflict Children need to learn that aggressive behavior is unacceptable

Resolving Conflicts Suggestions Urge children to talk about their feelings Acknowledge the efforts of children to resolve conflicts Model appropriate behavior

Social & Moral Development Competition – rivalry with the goal of winning or outperforming others Teamwork and cooperation

Learning Gender Roles Preschoolers are beginning to grasp the concept of how to fit into certain social groups Family, school, clubs, and others Gender-role learning = learning what behavior is expected of males and females Gender role is a major concept children learn in the preschool years.

How does gender role develop? By how others treat them and how they see others in their male or female roles Sex-typing = treating boys and girls differently Clothing Toys The way parents react Children most often identify and imitate models of the same gender as well as: Teachers Characters from TV, movies, and storybooks Does sex-typing exist throughout all of childhood and adolescence?

Cultural Differences Society’s view of male and female is not as clearly defined as it once was! Traditional views: Male – more aggressive, economic head of the family Female – wife, mother How many of your mom’s stay-at-home? Society’s view has CHANGED!

Sexual stereotyping = a statement or even a hint that men and women always do or should do certain tasks.

Extending Social Relations Social learning's: Sharing Controlling anger Thinking of other’s feelings Making joint efforts with others

Adults are still important Still depend on adults for many of their needs Adults are social models Teach by example Model relationships Morals Self-control Manners And much more!!

Making Friends Depends on the following: child’s friendliness Ability to follow group rules Lack of dependence on adults Prefer friends of the same gender Self-centered view about friendships They see friends as people who play with you, help you, share their toys with you, etc. Creates a closed circle of friends “You can’t play with us!”

Learning from Play Groups Play experiences are richer with others Learn new ideas Behave with peers Learn to play fairly Become less self-centered Learn that friends are fun! 