Full Draft Final Peer Review

Wednesday 12/04/13 You Need: 1. Full rough draft (Intro, body, conclusion) 2. Highlighters: Green, Pink, Yellow 3. Pen/pencil

Labeling Make a key at the top of your paper using your highlighters Sample: Green=Statement Pink=Proof Yellow=Commentary Green Words= Circle with pen/pencil Label the topic sentences at the beginning of each section Label the transitions at the end of each section Highlight the body paragraphs for statement, proof, and commentary using your key

Eyeballing Percentages Look at what you highlighted. Is more than 15-20% of what they wrote pink? Your partner needs to shorten quotes, develop commentary, or both. Write which one(s) you think they need to do If quotes are too long, cross out the part(s) of the quotes you think are unnecessary for their purposes.

What a claim looks like: YESNO Hamlet’s procrastination in killing Claudius reveals his perfectionism and strong sense of justice. Hamlet’s indecision, especially concerning suicide, is caused by his logical and fearful nature. Hamlet consistently brings up the topic of suicide throughout the play; many of those instances include self-deprecation. Hamlet’s personality is greatly shown from his continuous self- deprecation through the play.

Sarcasm Claim Check YES (Must Have BOTH) If it looks like this, they do not have a claim: Includes a claim with a personality trait/characteristic of Hamlet that we can tell because he is sarcastic. ALSO includes a claim about what we know about Hamlet’s relationships based on examples of his sarcasm. “Hamlet’s is sarcastic every chance he gets.” “Hamlet uses sarcasm because he can’t express himself.” “Sarcasm is Hamlet’s main form of communication.” “You can tell a lot about Hamlet’s relationships because he is sarcastic.”

Insanity Claim Check YES (Must Have BOTH) If it looks like this, they do not have a claim: Includes a CLEAR claim stating that Hamlet either started off acting and became insane or that Hamlet’s insanity is an act throughout the entire play. ALSO includes a claim about what the answer to the above question indicates about his personality/character. “Hamlet portrays insanity.” This is confusing. Unclear if he is acting or if he is insane. “Hamlet has been insane for the entire play.” Not an option. He says he will act at the beginning of he play. “What we can tell from Hamlet’s insanity is that he is weak.” What do you mean by “weak?”

Suicidal Tendencies and Self- Deprecation Claim Check YES (Must Have BOTH) If it looks like this, they do not have a claim: Includes a claim about Hamlet’s personality/character based on his tendency to self-deprecate ALSO includes a claim about Hamlet’s personality and mental state based on his talking about suicide and reasons for and against suicide. AND includes a claim about what his reasons for and against suicide say about his character. “Hamlet is self-deprecating and this causes his suicidal tendencies.” “Hamlet’s suicidal tendencies show he is a weak character.” What do you mean by “weak?” Be specific. “Hamlet’s reasons for and against suicide show his character” Like what????

Procrastination and Indecision Claim Check YES (Must Have BOTH) If it looks like this, they do not have a claim: Includes a claim about Hamlet’s character/personality based on his inability to follow through with his elaborate plans and his constant procrastination. ALSO includes a claim about Hamlet’s personality/ character based on his indecisive nature. “Hamlet’s procrastination is caused by his indecision” “Hamlet’s procrastination shows he is a weak character.” What do you mean by “weak?” Be specific. “Hamlet’s indecisiveness causes problems for Hamlet.”

Get Rid of Summary Cross out all instances of summary. Summary should only be EXTREMELY BRIEF to provide context to quotes. Example: In act one, scene two, just after Hamlet greets Horatio, Hamlet makes the sarcastic comment, “Thrift, thrift, Horatio. The funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.” ( ). “just after Hamlet greets Horatio” gives context but does not waste space with summary

Thesis Statement Highlight green words in green Check that they are green and NOUNS Check thesis against personality traits identified in claims. Does it match or does it contradict what the writer says in the body of the paper about Hamlet? Make sure it isn’t three-prong Shouldn’t just list green words or personality traits Give your partner notes now. Try to write a green word thesis they could use for their paper. Examples: “Although Hamlet professes to have the motivation to avenge his father's murder, his indecisiveness and lack of candor with those around him thwarts his plans.” “Although Hamlet’s sanity is a focal point throughout the play, ultimately his downfall is in direct relation to his lack of resilience and initiative in avenging his father’s murder.” “Although Hamlet has both the motivation and intelligence to effectively bring his uncle to justice, he lacks the fortitude to carry his plans to fruition.”

Check the Introduction’s Grabber Does your partner have one? Is it effective? Did your partner use a random quote that seems out of place? Let him/her know. If your partner starts off with a question, does it work or does it seem out of place or unrelated? Let him/her know. Give an example of a grabber your partner could use.

Mechanics Check The moment you’ve all been waiting for! Check for: Comma usage Hamlet’s vs. Hamlets, Ophelia’s vs. Ophelia’s, etc. Capitalization of proper nouns Elsinore, Hamlet, Gertrude, Claudius, Ophelia, Polonius, Laertes, Fortinbras, Denmark, Norway, Poland Run-on sentences and sentence fragments Spelling (remember it’s erratic behavior, not erotic behavior) Contractions (can’t, won’t, etc) Word choice that isn’t quite right. Anything else you see. Even if you aren’t sure, mark it. You know when something doesn’t look or sound quite right. Your partner will know to double-check.

Language Register Check Are they staying in formal register? Look back at notes to check. Includes using “I,” “you,” “me,” “my,” and “we” Use a pen or a pencil to circle any register drops and write “register” next to these circled areas.

Citations Plays are cited differently than other text you encounter Act 3, scene 2, lines ( ) OR (III.ii.21-23) Pick one and stick with it In his famous advice to the players, Hamlet defines the purpose of theater, "whose end, both at the first and now, was and is, to hold, as 'twere, the mirror up to nature" ( ). Separated by a period Change citations now (if needed)

On the Due Date: Final copy All sections that have been graded along the way Turnitin.com receipt Even if you are not here, it is due. You will need to make arrangements to have it to me by the beginning of your class period. If you are missing your turnitin.com receipt, it is considered late, even if you have everything else with you.