English 255 Meeting 8 Tosspon Heald College

Food, Inc Deliverable: 1 pg response (notes, or commentary) 272 2

EAWR Chpt 14: Word Choice & Style Stations Visit at least 4 of the stations, reading the handout and doing the assignment. Need: Essay 2 Graded. Maximum 3 people at any 1 station at a time. Go to the stations YOU need. The Impotence of Proof Reading Has this ever happened to you? You work very horde on a paper for English clash And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=) and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler. Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence. This is a problem that affects manly, manly students. I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term that my English teacher in my sophomoric year, Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague. And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague. Not just anal community colleague, because I wouldn¹t be happy at anal community colleague. I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation, I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally. I know this makes me sound like a stereo, but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue. So I needed to improvement or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison (in Prison, New Jersey). So I got myself a spell checker and figured I was on Sleazy Street. But there are several missed aches that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch. For instant, if you accidentally leave a word your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you. And God for billing purposes only you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling your spell Chekhov might replace a word with one you had absolutely no detention of using. Because what do you want it to douch? It only does what you tell it to douche. You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit. It just goes to show you how embargo one careless clit of the mouth can be. Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint. The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties out loud to all of my assmates. I¹m not joking, I¹m totally cereal. It was the most humidifying experience of my life, being laughed at pubically. So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice: One: There is no prostitute for careful editing. And three: When it comes to proofreading, the red penis your friend. Options Awkward, vague, unclear word choice Wordiness/Paramedic Method Clichés Writing for academics Appropriate language Appropriate Pronoun use Clear thesis statements 273

Revising your Essay 2: Fact-Based Essay Language Awkward, vague, or unclear Loaded language: Connotations Clichés Correct Pronoun usage Structure/Variations Wordiness: be more Concise – Use the Paramedic Method Repetition vs. redundancy Thesis statements 274

5 The Revision Process “Shitty First Drafts” “All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.” “I know some very great writers. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but we do not like her very much.” (Lamott [2009]: )

276 Not the First Draft—The Zero Draft Donald Murray, an editor at Time magazine won the Pulitzer Prize in He said that most professional writers live by the maxim that ‘writing is rewriting.’” Peter Drucker calls his first draft ‘the zero draft’— after that he can start counting.” (Murray 117)

277 “To produce a progression of drafts, each of which says more and says it more clearly, the writer has to develop a special kind of reading skill.” “Writers must learn to be their own best enemy. They must detach themselves from their own pages so that they can apply both their caring and their craft to their own work.” “Such detachment is not easy. Science finction writer Ray Bradbury supposedly puts each manuscript away for a year to the day and then rereads it as a stranger.” (Murray [2009]: 118)

278 John Ciardi, the poet, adds, “The last act of the writing must be to become one’s own reader. It is, I suppose, a schizophrenic process, to begin passionately and to end critically, to begin hot and to end cold; and, more important, to be passion-hot and critic-cold at the same time.” Author Eleanor Estes says, “At the end of each revision, a manuscript may look…worked over, torn apart, pinned together, added to, deleted from, words changed and words changed back. Yet the book must maintain its original freshness and spontaneity.” (Murray [2009]: 118)

Fast Food Nation “Quiz” Is it… factual? Rewrite to be completely factual (you may have to guess at the actual facts, that’s ok). You can smell Greeley, Colorado, long before you can see it. The smell is hard to forget but not easy to describe, a combination of live animals, manure, and dead animals being rendered into dog food. The smell is worst during the summer months, blanketing Greeley day and night like an invisible fog. (149) Greeley, Colorado has an odor caused by the meatpacking plant. In the summer, the heat causes this smell to become more tangible. 279

Using Humor In Arguments Can you make a point with humor? Humor breaks through barriers Humor relaxes your audience and puts them in a receptive mood. Humor alerts your audience to listen. Laughter adds 'juice' to a presentation. Humor releases tension Humor binds people together To make humor work you need to know: – the approximate age of your audience – And their general interests ( Clue: What unites them to come together to listen to you?) Read the article handout. What is the point the author makes? How does the humor work?