CONSTRUCTING A PROSPEROUS LEGACY DISCOVERING/BECOMING THE RIGHT PARTNER CREATING THE BLUEPRINT FOR A PROSPEROUS MARRIAGE Three Stages Stage 1 Stage 2 Stage 3

To the question, “Who is going to manage the money in your marriage?” she replied, “He is, I guess.” He responded, “We haven’t talked about that yet.” These comments surprised and shocked me. Elder Marvin J. Ashton - One for the Money What question should you ask? What should you discuss before getting married? What steps should you take? STAGE 1

Questions you should ask before you get married How much money do you earn? Can I see a copy of your credit report and credit score? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy and are there any judgments against you? Do you pay child support? Do you have a checking and savings account? If we purchase a home will we own the home jointly? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy and do you have any judgments against you? Ask for a copy of their last tax return STAGE 1

Questions you should ask before you get married How much money do you earn? Can I see a copy of your credit report and credit score? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy and are there any judgments against you? Do you pay child support? Do you have a checking and savings account? If we purchase a home will we own the home jointly? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy and do you have any judgments against you? Ask for a copy of their last tax return STAGE 1

Questions you should ask before you get married STAGE 1 Take a personal finance class together Carefully observe reactions during the class Take all the steps recommended in the class – together Read One for the Money together and discuss Observe how their parents manage their money Observe purchases and spending habits Work the Ben Franklin project together Discuss financial objectives that may require discipline Find out if they regularly save money We are grateful that this one survey reveals that about 90 percent of the temple marriages hold fast. Because of this, we recommend that people marry those who are of the same racial background generally, and of somewhat the same economic and social and educational background (some of those are not an absolute necessity, but preferred), and above all, the same religious background, without question. Spencer W. Kimball - Brigham Young University Devotional, September 7, 1976

STAGE 1 STAGE 2 Meaningful shared goals The essence of eternal energy Who is right How much am I willing to change Similarities empower Differences enable dysfunction

STAGE 2 Is marriage critical to financial success 89% of all divorces can be traced to quarrels and accusations over money. Marvin Ashton / ABA Money causes more problems in marriage than all other problems combined. Gordon B. Hinckley The most important factor in millionaire success I married the right person – Millionaire Mind

STAGE 2 Once married: Find financial goals you can share Define your hopes for your children financially Clearly commit to the value of ‘living well below your means’ Commit to friends who seem to share your vision Discover ‘shared independence’ The ‘Why I married your mother’ – communicate to your children some of the ‘financial’ reasons why you chose to marry their mother

STAGE 2 She had an excellent education

STAGE 2 80% of all children will manage their financial resources in a statistically similar way to the way their parents managed their resources

STAGE 3 Try never to expect or to tell your children you want their lives to materially ‘be better than yours’

STAGE 3

... that you can share with children

STAGE 3... that you can share with children

STAGE 3 Reality The enthusiastic (obsessive) commitment to higher education Dreams Show them how much you’re enjoying your own personal ‘life value’ crusade

STAGE 3 Active financial, time and resource philanthropic commitment To a ‘family selected’ need or organization

STAGE 3 If you’ll walk behind the mower The scholarship mom The ‘yard sale’ sale

STAGE 3 Attend classes, read books, pray for eternal inspiration Especially in the largest ‘potentially simpler’ expenses Housing Transportation Vacations Food expenses Electronics and entertainment

STAGE 3 On their shoulders we stand As part of this ‘chain’ – together we succeed

STAGE 3 What financial OBLIGATION will we create and commit ourselves to with our adult children? The greatest threat to your future financial storehouse becomes those who know you have a storehouse The Higher Education parameters The Dad match – Only on long-term saving’s objectives

STAGE 3 Make Sure they work for: Not too much money Not too much time Not too much of a focus on ‘things’ they can buy

STAGE 3 Designated Family Activity (DFA) – at the soup kitchen “My money is in trust and I receive a monthly income – You have to approve any large expense with Scott” When it’s your turn to be the Dad