STRIVE ORIENTATION Rotary Clubs Of Rochester

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself. Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is a Mentor? Guide Friend Listener Self-Esteem Builder Role Model (hope and perseverance) Link to New Experiences A trusted guide or friend, generally senior in age with more experience.

A Mentor is not Savior Parent Therapist Disciplinarian Cool Peer

Do’s and Don’t’s of Mentoring DO Be flexible Be consistent and dependable Show attention and concern Give encouragement Be a role model Set goals Give advice sparingly Build trust Set boundaries

Do’s and Don’t’s of Mentoring DON’T Don’t make promises Don’t expect overnight change Don’t give up

Stages of the Relationship Stage One – Developing Rapport and Building Trust Getting to know each other Goal setting Testing Predictable and consistent

Stages of the Relationship Stage Two – The Middle – Reaching Goals Period of closeness Affirming the uniquenes of the relationship Expect setbacks Rely on staff and seek support

Stages of the Relationship Stage Three – Closure Identify natural emotions Provide time and options for saying goodbye Discuss options for staying in touch if desired

Stages of Healthy Adolescent Development Comparison of Middle Adolescence (15-17) and Late Adolescence (18-21) Intellectual/Cognition MiddleLate Growth in abstract thoughtAbstract thought established Reverts to concrete under stressFuture oriented, able to understand, plan and pursue long range goals Better understanding of Cause and effectPhilosophical and idealistic Very self-absorbed

Stages of Healthy Adolescent Development Comparison of Middle Adolescence (15-17) and Late Adolescence (18-21) Autonomy MiddleLate Conflict with family predominatesEmancipation due to ambivalence about emerging independencePursuit of higher ed/work Adult lifestyle

Stages of Healthy Adolescent Development Comparison of Middle Adolescence (15-17) and Late Adolescence (18- 21) Peer Group MiddleLate Strong peer allegiancesDecisions, values less influenced by peers Fad behaviors Relates to individuals more than to peer groups Selection of partner based on individual preference

Stages of Healthy Adolescent Development Comparison of Middle Adolescence (15-17) and Late Adolescence (18-21) Identity Development MiddleLate Experimentation – drugs, sex,Pursue realistic vocational Friends, job, risk taking behaviorgoals Relate to family as an adult Realization of own limitations and mortality Establishment of sexual identity, sexual activity more common Establishment of ethical and moral value system More capable of intimate, complex relationships

What can you expect from your mentee? Testing (or not) Great attitude or poor attitude Indifference - real or otherwise Attempts to shock you Gratitude – but it may never be expressed

What your mentee needs from you Don’t give up – others in his/her life may have already done that. Don’t be judgmental – teens can smell that a mile away. Boost his/her self-esteem in big and small ways – never let an opportunity to do that pass- every kid needs it and this one may not be getting enough.

Where do you go for help? School counselors are available if you have concerns about your mentee that should be addressed outside STRIVE.

Things to Remember Your involvement in this child’s life DOES make a difference. You may not be around to see how it has made a difference. Your mentee may not be able to thank you, but you made him feel important and every human being needs that. If your mentee drops out, this is not your failure. Please consider becoming a STRIVE mentor again.

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of people to elevate their lives by conscious endeavor. Henry David Thoreau