Enhancing Self-Esteem in Children and Young People with Physical Disabilities By Dr Josephine-Joy Wright Consultant Clinical Psychologist

Definitions “An individual’s sense of their own self-worth or the extent to which a person values and approves of/likes themselves as a person” (Blascovich and Tomaka, 1991) “A favourable or unfavourable attitude towards the self” (Rosenberg, 1965)

Causes of low Self-Esteem Self-image – especially the deficit model Negative messages from parents and family Bullying and negative messages from peers Unrealistic expectations Negative beliefs about self/others Powerless Difficulties with self-reflecting and processing thoughts and feelings so that experiences may be negatively misread or over-personalised or cause difficult emotions which are hard for the child to sort out

Concepts of Disability 1.Medical Model(Freidson 1970) disability is a negative condition (an illness) requiring treatment, rehabilitation or cure. This is based on professional dominance and a treatment approach 2.Social Models(Oliver 1996 etc) disabilities are essential political and social causes due to social stigmatization, barriers to access, rights etc

Concepts of Disability cont/d.. e.g. a)Affirmation Model(Surain and French, 2000) disability is viewed as a normal and positive form of human diversity b)“Disability pride”(Russell 1994) – like “black pride”. People with disabilities may share a disability culture that sets them apart from the mainstream in a positive way.

Disability and Personhood A healthy self-esteem requires that a person feels of equal value to others and equally values others. So how do we reconcile disability and personhood if politically a person with a disability can be seen as a non-person/less of a person. How do we hold a healthy balance between: Negating ones personhood Over elevating ones personhood “you are special children” “angels”

Celebrating our Ordinary Extraordinaries! All children need to: Feel and know that they are safe, (secure base, boundaries) And significant Know that they are valued as an equal whole member of their family and community Have opportunities to release their creativity and gifts (White, 2003) All children need to learn that they are valued and to value themselves, not as a think good mantra of false self-confidence but to have that inner peace that they are lovable and loved.

Epstein’s Key Questions (1990) 1.Am I worthy/unworthy? 2.Is the world benevolent/malevolent? 3.Is the world meaningful/meaningless? 4.Are people trustworthy/untrustworthy? How would you answer these questions?

How to Enhance Self-Esteem Skills and inner resources and who got them from Outer resources -Who they go to for support 1.Hands

2.Strength Cards and Bear Cards (from “Innovative Resources”) These can enhance your child’s sense of effectiveness and “agency”. Encourage them to use their gifts and release them to serve others. 3Special Box Collect a box of things I like about me, or others like/enjoy about me. This can help to enhance your child’s self-image and enable them to hold and own the truth about who they are and to know what they are loved.

4.Personal Self View Get away from the deficit model! Speak over your child how valued they are Help them to learn and to speak over themselves/look at pictures of how valued they are and the destiny for their lives. 5.Enjoy Moments and Successes Have moments of peaceful time in every day, not just by hyperarousal time! Be careful not to keep setting new targets. Stay with and enjoy successes else your child can feel that they have never arrived/”made the grade”.

6.Engage wise support Be honest about what you need Be careful who you let pray over your or your child 7.Words Hurt, Words Heal Remember that they can hear and feel 8.Restore and Maintain Hope Be realistic (they are not angels!) but Avoid “never” statements – and challenge people who make them!

9.Have meaningless, motiveless, untargetted fun times! Make time to be and let your child be. “Waste” time happily! 10.Encourage your child to identify with and enjoy their peers But be careful if your child does not fit either world! 11.Tackle issues of access

In Summary Build resilience Build Hope Be rooted in Truth and Reality Love deeply even when it hurt Enjoy one another Be Real Love extravagently

USEFUL WEBSITES Growing Kids Parentlineplus.org.uk Workingwithkids.co.uk