Jewish Marriage Impact on the Community & Individual Jewish – ritual & ethical guidance for marriage Impact on the Community & Individual Jewish – ritual & ethical guidance for marriage

Jewish Marriage Biblical/Talmudic Foundations The Ketubah Teachings About Marriage Teachings About Divorce

Jewish Marriage  BIBLICAL & TALMUDIC FOUNDATIONS  Judaism rates marriage very highly – it serves the purpose of propagation of the human species, to fulfil the command given in Genesis (1: 27-28). To marry and have children is the first command given to humanity in the Torah  The second purpose of marriage is companionship – it is seen as the way to physical and spiritual fulfilment. Sex is not just for producing children, but is also a way to express and deepen love – to make a bond between man & woman so that they can build a happy marriage.  BIBLICAL & TALMUDIC FOUNDATIONS  Judaism rates marriage very highly – it serves the purpose of propagation of the human species, to fulfil the command given in Genesis (1: 27-28). To marry and have children is the first command given to humanity in the Torah  The second purpose of marriage is companionship – it is seen as the way to physical and spiritual fulfilment. Sex is not just for producing children, but is also a way to express and deepen love – to make a bond between man & woman so that they can build a happy marriage.

Jewish Marriage  From the beginning, it is seen to be God’s design that there are male & female and that man should cherish a woman in an intimate relationship.  Marriage is often compared to God’s eternal covenant with Israel – it should be life-long and divorce is regarded with sadness.  Third purpose is to establish the family as the basic social unit and the home as the little sanctuary in which the father is like a priest, the mother like a priestess, and the dining room table like an altar.  Stresses harmony & unity in family relationships – here that the Jewish religion can be practised, experienced  From the beginning, it is seen to be God’s design that there are male & female and that man should cherish a woman in an intimate relationship.  Marriage is often compared to God’s eternal covenant with Israel – it should be life-long and divorce is regarded with sadness.  Third purpose is to establish the family as the basic social unit and the home as the little sanctuary in which the father is like a priest, the mother like a priestess, and the dining room table like an altar.  Stresses harmony & unity in family relationships – here that the Jewish religion can be practised, experienced

Jewish Marriage  and transmitted from generation to generation.  For both man & woman, marriage is seen as desirable. It is in the ties & obligations of marriage that God is to be hallowed. This idea is very clearly expressed in the Hebrew word for marriage KIDDUSHIN meaning sanctification.  Marriage is a sacred relationship, a setting apart. Faithfulness, loyalty and mutual respect are expected in a Jewish marriage  In marriage one woman is set apart for one man – monogamy had been the norm in Jewish life  and transmitted from generation to generation.  For both man & woman, marriage is seen as desirable. It is in the ties & obligations of marriage that God is to be hallowed. This idea is very clearly expressed in the Hebrew word for marriage KIDDUSHIN meaning sanctification.  Marriage is a sacred relationship, a setting apart. Faithfulness, loyalty and mutual respect are expected in a Jewish marriage  In marriage one woman is set apart for one man – monogamy had been the norm in Jewish life

Jewish Marriage  THE KETUBAH :  Some 2000 yrs ago, Judaism created the “ketubah”, or marriage contract, the first document in the history of the world to protect the rights of women.  Immediately before the marriage ceremony, the ketubah is signed by two qualified witnesses, who attest to the promises made by the groom to the bride.  In modern times this may seem antiquated – many Reform & Conservative wedding ceremonies do not use the ketubah – instead the bride & groom are given a Certificate of Marriage.  Orthodox ceremonies still issue a ketubah to the bride  THE KETUBAH :  Some 2000 yrs ago, Judaism created the “ketubah”, or marriage contract, the first document in the history of the world to protect the rights of women.  Immediately before the marriage ceremony, the ketubah is signed by two qualified witnesses, who attest to the promises made by the groom to the bride.  In modern times this may seem antiquated – many Reform & Conservative wedding ceremonies do not use the ketubah – instead the bride & groom are given a Certificate of Marriage.  Orthodox ceremonies still issue a ketubah to the bride

Jewish Marriage  Ketubah still an integral part of Orthodox ceremonies for two reasons:  1) links the bride & groom to every Jewish couple, in every generation, who has been married according to Jewish law  2) reminds the bride & groom, in this generation, to protect each other in the same way that those of past generations did  Ketubah still an integral part of Orthodox ceremonies for two reasons:  1) links the bride & groom to every Jewish couple, in every generation, who has been married according to Jewish law  2) reminds the bride & groom, in this generation, to protect each other in the same way that those of past generations did

Jewish Marriage  TEACHINGS ABOUT MARRIAGE :  Nature of Marriage –  A married couple is considered as a complete organism, where the qualities of each contribute to the fulfilment of the whole – in Jewish thought marriage makes it possible for men & women to develop their personalities as complete individuals  According to Talmudic law, the requirement to be fruitful & multiply is fulfilled when a man has fathered at least one son and one daughter – thereafter Orthodox Jews allow contraception  TEACHINGS ABOUT MARRIAGE :  Nature of Marriage –  A married couple is considered as a complete organism, where the qualities of each contribute to the fulfilment of the whole – in Jewish thought marriage makes it possible for men & women to develop their personalities as complete individuals  According to Talmudic law, the requirement to be fruitful & multiply is fulfilled when a man has fathered at least one son and one daughter – thereafter Orthodox Jews allow contraception

Jewish Marriage  Progressive Judaism leaves these matters (of contraception) to the couple to decide for themselves  Questions about the acceptability of homosexual relationships do not arise in Orthodox Judaism as they are condemned in the Torah (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13)  The debate is alive in Reform Judaism.  Both Reform & Orthodox agree in their condemnation of infidelity, promiscuity and sexual exploitation – they also agree that in marriage one woman is set apart for one man in faithfulness, loyalty & mutual respect.  Progressive Judaism leaves these matters (of contraception) to the couple to decide for themselves  Questions about the acceptability of homosexual relationships do not arise in Orthodox Judaism as they are condemned in the Torah (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13)  The debate is alive in Reform Judaism.  Both Reform & Orthodox agree in their condemnation of infidelity, promiscuity and sexual exploitation – they also agree that in marriage one woman is set apart for one man in faithfulness, loyalty & mutual respect.

Jewish Marriage  Niddah:  For much of their married life, a couple’s relationship will be regulated by the laws of family purity.  Each month, from the time her period starts until she has immersed in a mikvah or ritual bath, a wife is in a state of “niddah” or separateness from her husband – seen to allow renewal in the marriage – the Talmud describes it as being under the wedding canopy again.  Many Jewish women, whether Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, find that the niddah gives them a sense of identity & holiness  Niddah:  For much of their married life, a couple’s relationship will be regulated by the laws of family purity.  Each month, from the time her period starts until she has immersed in a mikvah or ritual bath, a wife is in a state of “niddah” or separateness from her husband – seen to allow renewal in the marriage – the Talmud describes it as being under the wedding canopy again.  Many Jewish women, whether Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, find that the niddah gives them a sense of identity & holiness

Jewish Marriage  MARRIAGES BETWEEN JEWS AND NON-JEWS:  Many Jews now marry non-Jews – this is called ‘out- marriage’ – i.e. marrying out of the faith – Judaism is opposed to this because of its effect on the Jewish home  May result in children that are not Jewish (mother has to be Jewish)  Central role of marriage – raising of a Jewish family – Orthodox view is that this can only be achieved when two committed Jewish partners set up a Jewish home together.  No-one who is not Jewish can be married in a synagogue – rabbis can’t participate in non-Jewish cere.  MARRIAGES BETWEEN JEWS AND NON-JEWS:  Many Jews now marry non-Jews – this is called ‘out- marriage’ – i.e. marrying out of the faith – Judaism is opposed to this because of its effect on the Jewish home  May result in children that are not Jewish (mother has to be Jewish)  Central role of marriage – raising of a Jewish family – Orthodox view is that this can only be achieved when two committed Jewish partners set up a Jewish home together.  No-one who is not Jewish can be married in a synagogue – rabbis can’t participate in non-Jewish cere.

Jewish Marriage  PARENTS AND CHILDREN:  Weekly Shabbat is a special time for families to be together – relaxed atmosphere / traditions  Judaism teaches that parents & children have certain responsibilities towards one another – parents are expected to feed, clothe & educate their children and see that they can support themselves – for Jews these are religious obligations – raise their children to be moral people  Children, are expected to take care of their parents – they must treat them with respect and avoid hurting their feelings or causing them even minor irritations  PARENTS AND CHILDREN:  Weekly Shabbat is a special time for families to be together – relaxed atmosphere / traditions  Judaism teaches that parents & children have certain responsibilities towards one another – parents are expected to feed, clothe & educate their children and see that they can support themselves – for Jews these are religious obligations – raise their children to be moral people  Children, are expected to take care of their parents – they must treat them with respect and avoid hurting their feelings or causing them even minor irritations

Jewish Divorce  TEACHINGS ABOUT DIVORCE:  From the earliest times, the belief that marriage is a lifelong bond, whatever happens, has not been part of the Jewish faith.  The book of Deuteronomy states the biblical permission and procedure for divorce (24:1-4;22:13-21;28-29)  Under Jewish law, a man can divorce his wife for any or no reason – this does not mean that Judaism takes divorce lightly. Many aspects of Jewish Law discourage divorce.  The procedural details involved in arranging a divorce are complex and exacting  TEACHINGS ABOUT DIVORCE:  From the earliest times, the belief that marriage is a lifelong bond, whatever happens, has not been part of the Jewish faith.  The book of Deuteronomy states the biblical permission and procedure for divorce (24:1-4;22:13-21;28-29)  Under Jewish law, a man can divorce his wife for any or no reason – this does not mean that Judaism takes divorce lightly. Many aspects of Jewish Law discourage divorce.  The procedural details involved in arranging a divorce are complex and exacting

Jewish Divorce  Complications arise if only one partner wants a divorce.  Judaism simply recognises that marriages fail and grants a divorce – it is not concerned with other people’s judging and blaming.  Yet before a divorce, the couple is encouraged to make every effort to overcome their problems and save their marriage.  Even though they believe that God intended marriage to be for life, it also maintains that it is better for a couple to divorce than to stay together in a state of constant bitterness and strife.  Complications arise if only one partner wants a divorce.  Judaism simply recognises that marriages fail and grants a divorce – it is not concerned with other people’s judging and blaming.  Yet before a divorce, the couple is encouraged to make every effort to overcome their problems and save their marriage.  Even though they believe that God intended marriage to be for life, it also maintains that it is better for a couple to divorce than to stay together in a state of constant bitterness and strife.

Jewish Divorce  THE DIVORCE PROCESS:  A section of the Mishnah is devoted to the subject of divorce – it develops the basic procedure laid down in Deuteronomy 24.  This rests on a man handing his wife a bill of divorce, known as a “get” – it is always a man who gives the get – the assumed legal superiority of the man goes back to the biblical times.  There are many Jews who think this inequality is unacceptable today. Reform Jews do not have a get or any religious divorce procedure. A civil divorce dissolves the marriage.  THE DIVORCE PROCESS:  A section of the Mishnah is devoted to the subject of divorce – it develops the basic procedure laid down in Deuteronomy 24.  This rests on a man handing his wife a bill of divorce, known as a “get” – it is always a man who gives the get – the assumed legal superiority of the man goes back to the biblical times.  There are many Jews who think this inequality is unacceptable today. Reform Jews do not have a get or any religious divorce procedure. A civil divorce dissolves the marriage.

Jewish Divorce  Orthodox still follow this method – without a get a woman cannot remarry in an Orthodiox synagogue.  A woman whose husband is missing also remains married – she is “agunah” (anchored) and cannot remarry according to Jewish law.  Reform Judaism rejects the whole idea of agunah as unethical and they do not require a get before remarriage.  In most countries there is a civil divorce before a religious one. In all countries it is the “Bet Din” made up of at least 3 rabbis which carries out the religious divorce.  Orthodox still follow this method – without a get a woman cannot remarry in an Orthodiox synagogue.  A woman whose husband is missing also remains married – she is “agunah” (anchored) and cannot remarry according to Jewish law.  Reform Judaism rejects the whole idea of agunah as unethical and they do not require a get before remarriage.  In most countries there is a civil divorce before a religious one. In all countries it is the “Bet Din” made up of at least 3 rabbis which carries out the religious divorce.

Jewish Marriage / Divorce  The husband can then remarry straightaway, whilst the wife must wait 90 days in case of pregnancy.  The formality and solemnity of the occasion correspond to those of the marriage ceremony – the couple are appearing as people undoing before God the commitment they once made.  Without a Jewish divorce, no person who has been previously married can be married again with an Orthodox or Conservative rabbi officiating. The Reform movement does not require a get in order to terminate a Jewish marriage – contending that the divorce decree of the civil court is sufficient – so Reform rabbis will officiate at a second marriage  The husband can then remarry straightaway, whilst the wife must wait 90 days in case of pregnancy.  The formality and solemnity of the occasion correspond to those of the marriage ceremony – the couple are appearing as people undoing before God the commitment they once made.  Without a Jewish divorce, no person who has been previously married can be married again with an Orthodox or Conservative rabbi officiating. The Reform movement does not require a get in order to terminate a Jewish marriage – contending that the divorce decree of the civil court is sufficient – so Reform rabbis will officiate at a second marriage

Jewish Divorce  Civil divorce is required to precede religious divorce, otherwise it is not recognised by Australian Law  If two people chose to undergo a Jewish marriage ceremony that is recognised as a valid marriage in Australia, the law should not enable one of those spouses to later claim, upon the breakdown and civil dissolution of the marriage, that he or she objects to undergoing a Jewish divorce on grounds such as a change in beliefs or level of religious observance.  Civil divorce is required to precede religious divorce, otherwise it is not recognised by Australian Law  If two people chose to undergo a Jewish marriage ceremony that is recognised as a valid marriage in Australia, the law should not enable one of those spouses to later claim, upon the breakdown and civil dissolution of the marriage, that he or she objects to undergoing a Jewish divorce on grounds such as a change in beliefs or level of religious observance.