PROFILE R AHEEMA F AMUYIWA, IS A GRADUATE OF THE U NIVERSITY OF L AGOS WITH A DEGREE IN A CTUARIAL S CIENCES. S HE HAS WORKED AT THE N IGERIAN A RMY AS A D ATA C ELL OFFICER, D EEN C OMMUNICATIONS L TD AS A S ALES REPRESENTATIVE, H EAD, I NTERNAL A DMINISTRATION AND C USTOMER RELATIONS OF M ATRIX C ONCEPT L TD, A PRINTING OUTFIT AND IS PRESENTLY WORKING WITH E TISALAT. O N THE SIDE, R AHEEMAH RUNS "C OVERED P EARLS ", A M USLIMAH B EAUTY PARLOUR TO CATER TO THE MOST PRECIOUS CLIENTELE, "T HE M USLIMAH "

D ATING & MY NIKAAH … By Raheemah Famuyiwa

D ATING AND COURTSHIP IN ISLAM - D ISCUSSIONS  How do I get to know the one I want to marry?  Can I invite him to my home in the prescence of my Mum or siblings?  What is permissible in Islam?

D ATING AND COURTSHIP IN ISLAM  Umar (RA) related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)" (Bukhari/Muslim).  The Prophet (peace be upon him) also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan (Shaytan) is the third among them" (Tirmidhi). When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty...." Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake.

M Y NIKAAH - DISCUSSIONS Planning:  Meeting the prospective parents  Pregnancies before Marriage (Scenarios)  Engagement/Introduction/Traditional Marriage; their place.  Myths of Weddings

M Y NIKAAH - DISCUSSIONS  My White Wedding  Wedding Cake  My ring  My Gown  Permissables within the deen  Finances  What if…..(Family, friends pressure)

M Y NIKAAH – INSHA ALLAH  What is an Aqdun? The Aqdun is the formal pronouncement of the existence of a Marriage between two consenting individuals in the prescence of a Wali for the bride, where the terms of the Marriage contract (if there’s one) is formalised. The couple are deemed to be married when this is done.

M Y NIKAAH – INSHA ALLAH  The Mahr Mahr is a mandatory gift given by the groom to the bride. Unlike a bride price, however, it is given directly to the bride and not to her father. Although the gift is often money, it can be anything agreed upon by bride and groom such as a house or viable business that is put in her name and can be run and owned entirely by her if she chooses. bride price When is it given?

M Y NIKAAH – INSHA ALLAH  The Marriage Contract A Muslim marriage is not a sacrament, but a simple, legal agreement in which either partner is free to include conditions. These conditions are stipulated in a written contract. Violating any of the conditions stipulated in this contract is legal grounds for a partner seeking divorce. The first part of the Nikah, marriage ceremony is the signing of the marriage contract itself. Do we need to go to the Courts?

M Y NIKAAH – DISCUSSIONS.. CHECKING LEARNING T HE NORM  The Walima  The hall decor  The brothers suits  The signing of the Contract  Exposing the bride ISLAM  The gown  The Imams  The bridal train  Walking down the aisle  The couple dance

J AZAKALLAHU KHAIRAN Questions