The message within the message

What is Metacommunication?  Metacommunication occurs when people give non-verbal or verbal cues about how their messages should be understood.  Communicates something about the communication itself.

Why is it important?  Allows family members to announce their needs, fix any confusion and make a more constructive relational pattern.  Makes it easier to understand eachothers feelings and needs.

Verbal messages  Your tone of voice can send a message with a message  You may say “Its okay I forgive you”, However your tone of voice may say that you are still emotionally damaged.

Your tone says it all  When a parent asks her 15 year old son “when are you going to take out the trash?” Her tone may indicate whether she is actually questioning the TIME and DAY of when he will take out the trash, or telling him to CLEAN IT UP NOW!  Your voice can be like a key board, when you use caps lock you are emphasizing what you are saying. This corresponds with the tone or volume of your voice when you are speaking.

Non-verbal  Non-verbal clues can also send a message about the message that you are verbally communicating  When we say things we often emphasize what we are saying through our body language. Using our body helps us express the meaning behind what we are saying.

 A father may tell his daughter “everything will be okay”, but it is when he puts his arm on her shoulder that she is really comforted.  A wife may tell her husband that she forgives him for cheating, but the fact that she wont even look at him shows that her forgiveness is not true.

Hand gesturesFacial expressions postureEye contact Non verbal cues

Non-verbal examples of non-verbal cues

In conclusion  Metacommunication helps us express ourselves when words aren’t always enough. It is an important aspect of how families communicate with one another.  We can tell if what someone says is sincere by their tone and body language.  We can tell how someone is feeling emotionally by their tone and body language.  Think about the ways that you use metacommunication in you everyday life.

refrences  Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.. (2009). Meta-communication: What I Said Isn’t What I Meant. In Meta-communication: What I Said Isn’t What I Meant. Retrieved November 11, 2011, from communication-what-i-said-isnt-what-i-meant/. communication-what-i-said-isnt-what-i-meant/  Galvin, Bylund, Brommel (2008) Family Communication Cohesion and Change. Glenview, Illinois: Pearson Education, inc.  Dan Edge. (February 5, 2008). Meta-communication. In The Edge of Reason. Retrieved November 11, 2011, from communication.html. communication.html 