Exercise 13

No.1  (Worse) Conventional approaches offer an explanation of this phenomenon and providing alternative strategies to solve the problem.  (Better) Conventional approaches explain this phenomenon and provide alternative strategies to solve the problem.

[Note 4.8]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, alleviate, alter, modify, resolve, eliminate or eradicate can be used as alternatives to solve when the Chinese meaning is 解決.  Also, depending on the sentence ’ s context, limitation, restriction, constraint, or phenomenon can be used as an alternatives to problem when the Chinese meaning is 問題.

No.2  (Worse) Their approach involves converting fuzzy data into crisp scores and to determine the ranking order of alternatives.  (Better) Their approach converts fuzzy data into crisp scores and determines the ranking order of alternatives.

No.3  (Worse) Crisp scores are assigned to the selected conversion scale (fuzzy number) for the purpose of applying a fuzzy scoring method and normalization of the scores.  (Better) Crisp scores are assigned to the selected conversion scale (fuzzy number) to apply a fuzzy scoring method and normalize the scores.

[Note 4.9]  Avoid wordiness by saying for or to instead of for the purpose of.

No.4  (Worse) The project concentrates mainly on reduction of the dependence between the sample mean and the sample standard deviation and that an efficient procedure capable of attaining the minimum quality loss is developed.  (Better) The project concentrates mainly on reducing the dependence between the sample mean and the sample standard deviation and developing efficient procedure capable of attaining the minimum quality loss.

No.5  (Worse) The standard procedure is for all intents and purpose inefficient, impractical, and creates problems.  (Better) The standard procedure is for all intents and purpose inefficient, impractical, and problematic.

[Note 4.9]  Omit the needless phrase such as for all intents and purposes since they do not add to the sentence ’ s overall meaning.

No.6  (Worse) Ullman [1989] not only used the Analysis of Means (ANOM) to study the mean response, but also a further extension of the ANOM was made to analyze dispersion effects.  (Better) Ullman [1989] not only used the Analysis of Means (ANOM) to study the mean response, but also further extended the ANOM to analyze dispersion effects.

[Note 4.11]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, apply, employ, or utilize can be used as alternatives to use when the Chinese meaning is 使用.  Also, depending on the sentence ’ s context, investigate, examine, elucidate, or explore can be used as an alternatives to study when the Chinese meaning is 研究.

No.7  (Worse) The Taguchi Method deals with a one- dimensional problem and multi-dimensional problems are handled by TOPSIS.  (Better) The Taguchi Method deals with a one- dimensional problem and TOPSIS handles multi-dimensional problems.

No.8  (Worse) The calculations are performed either to get a revised least squares fit or expected failure times are estimated for the censored values.  (Better) The calculations are performed either to get a revised least squares fit or to estimate expected failure times for the censored values.

[Note 4.12]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, obtain, derive, or attain can be used as alternatives to get when the Chinese meaning is 得到.

No.9  (Worse) The proposed optimization procedure is made up of the following steps: Step 1: Transform the relative importance of each response into a fuzzy number. Step 2: Crisp scores must be assigned to selected conversion scale. Step 3: The quality loss is computed. Step 4: Determine the TOPSIS value for each trial. Step 5: The optimal factor/level combination must be determined. Step 6: The confirmation experiment is conducted.

No.9 (cont.)  (Batter) The proposed optimization procedure is made up of the following steps: Step 1: Transform the relative importance of each response into a fuzzy number. Step 2: Assign crisp scores to selected conversion scale. Step 3: Computed the quality loss. Step 4: Determine the TOPSIS value for each trial. Step 5: Determine the optimal factor/level combination. Step 6: Conduct the confirmation experiment.

[Note 4.13]  Depending on the sentence ’ s context, consist of or comprised of can be used as alternatives to is made up of or is made of when the Chinese meaning is 由 … 做成.

No.10  (Worse) Wee [11] made a further extension of the conventional model to allow for shortages and assuming that the demand rate would decrease exponentially.  (Better) Wee [11] further extended the conventional model to allow for shortages and assumed that the demand rate would decrease exponentially.

No.11  (Worse) The relative closeness computed in TOPSIS can be used to assess the performance measurement and optimizing multi-response problems in the Taguchi method.  (Better 1) The relative closeness computed in TOPSIS can be used to assess the performance measurement and optimize multi-response problems in the Taguchi method.

No.11  (Better 2) The relative closeness computed in TOPSIS can be used for assessing the performance measurement and optimizing multi-response problems in the Taguchi method.

No.12  (Worse) The experiment focused on determination of how process parameters affect the silicon nitride deposition process and to satisfy the industrial requirements.  (Better) The experiment determine how process parameters affect the silicon nitride deposition process and, in doing so, satisfied the industrial requirements.