Line Breaks: Creating Rhythm and Flow Poetry

Line Breaks Breaking lines at particular spots help create rhythm and flow Line breaks can occur at pauses caused by punctuation or ends of complete sentences (end- stopped) or between adjective and noun, adverb and verb, or other places where there is no pause caused by grammar or punctuation (enjambed) – End-stopped: reader “weighs” info in line; information is taken as a complete thought or idea – Enjambed: reader hurries on to next line out of curiosity (what comes next?) and because the obstacle of a pause is present

Exercise on Line Breaks Each of you will receive a copy of a poem written by a professional author—the information will be presented as a paragraph Listen to the recording of the poem and break lines where you hear them broken in the recording— indicate line breaks with a slash at the end of the line to be broken (/) There are 43 lines in the original poem, so your poem should also contain 43 lines We’ll compare where you chose to break the line and where the poet broke it

Blue Light Lounge Sutra for the Performance Poets at Harold Park Hotel by Yusef Komunyakaa the need gotta be/so deep words can't/answer simple questions/all night long notes/stumble off the tongue/& color the air indigo/so deep fragments of gut/& flesh cling to the song/you gotta get into it/so deep salt crystalizes on eyelashes/the need gotta be/so deep you can vomit up ghosts/& not feel broken/till you are no more/than a half ounce of gold/in painful brightness/you gotta get into it/blow that saxophone/so deep all the sex & dope in this world/can't erase your need/to howl against the sky/ the need gotta be/so deep you can't/just wiggle your hips/& rise up out of it/chaos in the cosmos/modern man in the pepperpot/you gotta get hooked/into every hungry groove/so deep the bomb locked/in rust opens like a fist/into it into it so deep/rhythm is pre-memory/the need gotta be basic/animal need to see/ & know the terror/we are made of honey/cause if you wanna dance/this boogie be ready/to let the devil use your head/for a drum

Blue Light Lounge Sutra for the Performance Poets at Harold Park Hotel by Yusef Komunyakaa, the need gotta be so deep words can't answer simple questions all night long notes stumble off the tongue & color the air indigo so deep fragments of gut & flesh cling to the song you gotta get into it so deep salt crystalizes on eyelashes the need gotta be so deep you can vomit up ghosts & not feel broken till you are no more than a half ounce of gold in painful brightness you gotta get into it blow that saxophone so deep all the sex & dope in this world can't erase your need to howl against the sky the need gotta be so deep you can't just wiggle your hips & rise up out of it chaos in the cosmos modern man in the pepperpot you gotta get hooked into every hungry groove so deep the bomb locked in rust opens like a fist into it into it so deep rhythm is pre-memory the need gotta be basic animal need to see & know the terror we are made of honey cause if you wanna dance this boogie be ready to let the devil use your head for a drum

Step One: Analyzing Line Breaks With each of the poems you’ll include in your Themes poetry book, analyze where you broke the lines and ask yourself: Why did I choose to break the line here? Was my “choice” actually a requirement of the form (to meet syllable count or at the end of the sentence, for example)? If the poem form did not require me to break the line at a certain point, why did I choose to break it there?

Step Two: Revising Line Breaks If you can revise the line break—that is, if it doesn’t interfere with the form, revise it to be either an end-stopped or enjambed break. Also consider the following: – Longer lines tend to indicate confidence, relaxation, and/or joy – Short lines turned quickly onto the next line tend to recreate physical and emotional tension for the reader – A short line among longer ones highlights a critical word or idea

Flow in Poetry “Flow” is essentially a combination of two things: 1. where the lines are broken 2. how the word sounds (musical devices of assonance, alliteration, consonance, onomatopoeia, and rhyme working together to convey your theme in/tone of the poem)

Step One: Analyzing Flow 1.Consider your theme, and consider the emotional tone that logically aligns with your theme. In the margin, below where you wrote the theme of the poem, write the emotional tone that logically matches it—be as specific as possible! 2.Read your poem aloud and listen—and have others listen— for repeated vowel and consonant sounds throughout the poem. 3.Ask, “Do the letter sounds in my poem align with the emotional tone I want to recreate in my poem?”

Step Two: Revising for Flow After considering your theme the emotional tone that logically matches your theme, change the words in the poem to best suit your purpose. 1. Word tones that suggest confidence, relaxation, and/or joy: a.Long, full vowel sounds (ex. “moon”, “gaze”) b.Soft consonant sounds (ex. “susurration”, “lull”) 2. Word tones that suggest physical and emotional tension: a.Short, sharp vowel sounds (“twitter”, “blab”) b.Sharp consonant sounds (“spat”, “grab”) 3. Using words that rhyme within a line or at the end of two or more consecutive lines accentuates the emotional tone

Other Considerations: If you meet the basic guidelines (i.e., form) of the poem type, you will receive 6 our of 10 points per revised draft. Your poems are graded on form plus – Clarity of theme – Purposeful use of imagery/figurative language – Careful, conscientious control of line breaks and flow