1 Establishing Nurturing Parenting Routines Nurturing Parenting Section 9.4 GOAL To increase parent's ability to establish nurturing routines with their children.

2 OBJECTIVES To increase parents’ ability to establish nurturing routines with their children. To identify times when nurturing parenting routines could be established. To discuss the value of establishing nurturing routines.

3 Building Disciple Through Routines Purpose of routines are: To set standards of conduct that children can abide by and incorporate into their belief system To establish a consistent way of doing something. Nurturing parenting routines are a consistent way of raising children that builds a child’s sense of predictability and success that enhances children’s self-concept, self-worth and feelings of competence.

4 Much of the hassles of homework, bedtime, dinner time, and getting dressed can be reduced or eliminated by establishing a routine. Respond to the following: My one routine from childhood that I remember is __________.

5 Routines  Nurturing routines help establish: a. Consistency and predictability. b. Empathy c. Positive self-esteem and self-concept d. Cooperation

6 Routines (cont.)  Nurturing routines consist of: a. Gentle positive touch b. Praise for being and doing c. Pleasant expressions and tone of voice d. Empathic caregivers e. FUN!!!

7 Routines (cont.)  Nurturing routines can be established for any activity but should be at least established for the following: a. Homework b. Dinner time c. Bedtime d. Getting Dressed

8 Establish Homework Routine First!!! What is your current practice of getting homework done?

9 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Homework Select a homework spot. Kitchen table? Family room? Bedroom? The location needs to be conducive to concentrating and being on task. TV’s, radios and CD’s do not usually contribute to concentration and being on task, although some people do work better with music in the background.

10 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Homework (cont) Select a time. After school? After dinner? Two points to ponder: Children need a break just like adults from work. For some children, after school is a time to unwind and relax from the pressures of school. Also, the longer the night goes on, the more likely tiredness and fatigue set in. Error rate is higher and concentration is lower when children are fatigued. Some children like to get their homework done as soon as possible and have their evenings free. Find what works best for each of your children.

11 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Homework (cont) Be a homework partner. Parents and children working together on homework increases the likelihood it will get done, promotes a positive attitude toward learning, and builds parent- child bonds. Getting involved in your child’s learning is critical for success in school. Be supportive. Nagging about homework can drive any child nuts, and can easily develop a bad attitude. Be supporting and encouraging.

12 Dinner Time Routine What are your memories of dinner time as children by responding to the following: One memory I have of dinner time as a child is _______________.

13 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Dinner Time Provide a comfortable eating environment. Reinforce personal choice in eating. Never make it mandatory to finish everything on your plate. Allow children to put their own portions of food on their plate. Involve children in shopping for food, creating a weekly menu, and cooking the food. Provide transition time before the food is ready. Let everyone know in ten minutes it will be ready.

14 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Dinner Time (cont.) Sound pleasant when informing your family it is time to eat. Nobody likes being commanded to eat. Involve children in setting the table. Involve children in letting others know food is ready. Feed the dog or cat when people eat. You reduce the likelihood of begging. Establish a “wash hands” before eating rule. Dinner time is ideally a family time. Keep the TV off, and use the time to talk about the day’s events.

15 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Dinner Time (cont.) Teach proper meal time behaviors: chewing with the mouth closed, not talking when eating, using a napkin not hand or sleeve. Have everybody take their plate to the sink. Involve family members in the clean-up of the meal. Assign appropriate tasks.

16 Night time fears Parents: Share a memory about your bedtime. Do you have any night time fears?

17 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Bedtime Establish a clear cut time needed to be in their beds. Some exceptions are OK, but keep the exceptions to a minimum. Young children need more sleep than older children. Bed time can differ by age. Provide a snack well before bed time. The stomach needs time to digest the food. Sugars and caffeine treats are nor recommended. Provide a transition time. Let children know in minutes it will be time to begin getting ready for bed.

18 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Bedtime (cont.) Build in a tubby-time, shower, or wash-up time. Make the soap, wash cloth, and towel easily available. Build in a brushing time. Build in reading stories time. Make sure the content is suitable to comfort the child, not to excite or make the child anxious. Good night means rest well with sweet dreams. Tell power stories. Recap all the good things that the child did that day. Tell your child how proud you are to be their parent. Tell them that you love and care about them.

19 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Bedtime (cont.) Use gentle touch to massage or rub the back of your children while telling your power story. Leaving a small light on, or playing soft music are options you may use to encourage rest and sleep. If your child has difficulty getting to sleep, it is silly to command them to do so. Encourage them to think nice thoughts. Maybe your child needs to talk about something that is troubling them. Take the time to listen. Talking relieves anxieties.

20 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Bedtime (cont.) Night time fears are real for children, and just about all children go through a time when they are afraid of the dark, or monsters, or being left alone. Such fears are based on feelings of insecurity. Be supportive. Don’t tell your child it is all in their head and there is nothing to be afraid of. Rather say, “Being scared at night is common. What can I do to help you feel comfortable?” If necessary, set up a sleeping bag next to your bed, or have children share one room. For younger children, jumping into the parents’ bed is a great reassurance that the world is a safe place.

21 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Getting Dressed Give children choices. They can wear A or B. Lay out the cloths on the floor in the order of putting them on. Pick out the cloths the night before. Help the younger children get dressed and assist in doing things he or she cannot do. Things your child can do should be reinforced.

22 Nurturing Parenting Routine for Getting Dressed(cont.) Be supportive in waking up from sleep. Again, a gentle back rub with a pleasant tone is nicer than a loud voice giving a command to “get up” and bright lights. Praise your child for the great job in picking out clothes, getting dressed, and being on time. In the morning, have a nice breakfast after you get up. Give your children a hug and tell them that you love them before they leave for the day!!!

23 It takes a lot of work to be a good parent. Remember – What goes around comes around. Always show your children that you love and care about them. They will never forget it and you will be rewarded for it may times over.

24 Remember Your children are our future. Your child is a little you. Children need molding that requires time, love, and energy.