Sentence Patterns 9-10 with variations

Pattern 9 Formula Repetition of a Key Term __ S V key term or repeated key term. , (use dash or comma before repetition)

Explanation Repeat a key word in a modifying phrase attached to the main clause. Repeat the word exactly as it is, or you may use another form. brute  brutal; breath  breathtaking; battle  battling Key term Important Anywhere in the sentence, but usually at the end Dash or comma dash = longer pause, a greater break in thought

Note 1: Key word must be worth repeating Ineffective, uninteresting repetition: He was a good father, providing a good home for his good children. Note 2: Be sure attached phrase with the repeated key tern is NOT a complete sentence (or else you will create a comma splice) Wrong: He was a cruel brute of a man, he was brutal to his family and even more brutal to his friends. Correction: He was a cruel brute of a man, brutal to his family and even more brutal to his friends.

Examples We live in an uncertain world—the inner world, the world of the mind. We all have problems but we can find a solution, a solution that works, a solution that is equitable. She suddenly felt filled with joy—a joy she could not explain but that she gladly embraced.

Checkpoints Double check that the repetition is a phrase, not a clause. Wrong: He was part of the older generation, his generation was born before the Depression. Correct: He was part of the older generation, a generation born before the Depression.

Don’t use a period or semicolon where the comma should be. Wrong: He praises the beauty of his love. A love that is unfortunately hopeless because it is not mutual. Correct: He praises the beauty of his love, a love unfortunately hopeless because it is not mutual.

Variation 9a Formula Same word repeated in parallel structure S V repeated key word in same position of the sentence.

Explanation of Ways to Repeat Repeat an effective adjective or adverb in phrases or clauses with parallel construction: She has an incredible satisfying life, satisfying because of her career and satisfying because of her family. Repeat the same preposition in a series: He has known her for many years, before she went to college, before she was a star, before she won the Oscar. Repeat the same noun as the object of different prepositions: This government is of the people, by the people, and for the people.

Repeat the same intensifiers: Repeat the same modifying word in phrases that begin with different prepositions: Sidney devoted his life to those selfish people, for their selfish cause, but clearly with his own selfish motives dominating his every action. Repeat the same intensifiers: The baseball game was very exciting, very enjoyable, but very long. Repeat the same verb or alternative forms of the same word: In order to survive in war, a person needs training, a person needs courage, and, most of all, a person needs luck.

Examples If you have unrealistic dreams, you may need to find other goals, other desires. Venice presents great gifts to the visitor—great history, great art, great crafts. His greatest discoveries, his greatest successes, his greatest influence upon the world’s daily life came to Edison only after repeated failures.

Pattern 10 Formula Emphatic appositive at end, after a colon S V word: the appositive (the second naming) (with or without modifiers)

Explanation Withholding the repetition until the end of the sentence builds to a climax and provides a forceful, emphatic appositive that concludes the sentence and shouts for attention. Colon marks a full stop Use only after a complete statement Anticipates an explanation

Examples Her room contained a collection of trash: old clothes, soda cans, McDonald’s wrappers. When I go to the movies, I need two things to really enjoy it: popcorn and a soda. Airport thieves have a common target: unwary travelers.

Checkpoints Check the words before the colon; be sure they make a full statement (sentence). After the colon, be sure to write only a word or a phrase—not a full statement.

Variation 10a Formula Appositive after a dash S V word — the appositive. (echoed idea or second naming)

Explanation Instead of colon, use a dash. Dash almost always precedes a short climactic appositive Colon generally precedes a longer appositive Second naming is usually climactic or emphatic

Effects of Punctuation Adjusting to a new job requires one quality, humor. (common usage but not emphatic) Adjusting to a new situation requires one quality: humor. (significant pause, but not so dramatic) Adjusting to a new job requires one quality above all others—a sense of humor. (dramatic signaling) Adjusting to a new job requires one quality: the ability to laugh at oneself. (more dramatic, more stylistically complete)

Examples Many traditional philosophies echo the ideas of one man—Plato. Pandas eat only one food—bamboo shoots. These big burgers taste great but they have lots of calories—over 1,000.

Checkpoints The second naming must be a true appositive Poor: One class of teenagers can be labeled—students. Correct: One label would fit almost any teenager—student. A dash cannot separate complete thoughts. Wrong: Mary Shelley spent a full year at Marlow writing Frankenstein—her monster has survived better than some of her husband’s poems. Correct: Mary Shelley spent a full year at Marlow writing Frankenstein—creating a monster that has survived better than some of her husband’s poems.