Student Oral Commentary on extract from Charles Dickens’ Hard Times IB moderator evaluation & notes

Criterion A: Knowledge & understanding of the poem: 5/5  The extract is placed in a variety of appropriate contexts within the overall work:  The development of the individual characters.  The changing relationship between father & daughter.  The plot development through Louisa’s perceived “need” & Sissy Jupe.  (Re-) education & the partnering of the novel’s opposition between fact & fancy & what is needful.

 Extract is placed within the appropriate named section (“Sowing”) &, by extension, the pattern of metaphor & imagery in the rest of novel.  Commentary focuses on what the student clearly identifies as the central & important content.  Knowledge & understanding of specific details is amply demonstrated in response to teacher’s follow-up questions.

Criterion B: Appreciation of the writer’s choices: 4/5  Commentary readily satisfies descriptor of “good Interpretation”. Personal response effectively focuses on  Characterization, imagery, awareness & demonstration of narrator intrusion (“To do him justice…”).  The satirizing of the “economist,” noting details in extract.  The attention to diction (“languid and monotonous”)  The use of metaphor in the smoke & “fire bursts out…”  The useful analysis of duty, noting specific details in extract.  The awareness of theme & structure of the novel.  The sense of Dickens & his wider concerns in the novel.

 While repetition of Louisa’s responses are addressed… EOther opportunities to explore nuances of technique could be explored or elaborated upon: ESignificance of charactonyms (Gradgrind & Bounderby). ELength of the exchanges of dialogue. EHow the dynamic evolves in this extract. EMore specifics about Gradgrind’s register, thus reinforcing student’s points about Gradgrind seeming like “an economist” & his inability to understand his daughter.  Responses to teacher questions probe points of detail & show clear understanding & valid interpretation of extract’s details about the way body language reveals character dynamics.

Criteron C: Organization & presentation of the commentary: 5/5 This in in many ways an “organic” commentary, the parts seemingly growing out of each other rather than specifying a succession of topics in the introduction. ENo initial statement of context within the novel  Introduction offers immediate focus on two main points in the content:  The gap between Gradgrind & Louisa, especially the father- daughter relationship.  The unfulfilling aspects of a life full of facts.

EMention is made—but never developed—of possible, valid contrasts to two later scenes.  Consideration of the distance between the characters leads on to an examination of the two “plains of thought” in turn before—in briefly exploring the importance of of Sissy Jupe’s arrival in the household & her role in reference to Louisa’s need for fancy—attention is focused on the “something missing” in the “life entrenched in fact”.  Concluding remarks place the extract not simply within the book (section) called “Sowing” but also within a consideration of what is reaped from this later in the novel.

 Student’s attention to clearly delineated & important aspects of the extract itself does not prevent the integration of relevant, wider references; conclusion briefly places the two characters within a wider exploration of the novel.  Among the links the student develops to other moments in the novel is…  How Louisa’s limited number of “hearts experiences” can be compared to the abundance of facts that fill the minds of the pupils, the little pitchers, in Gradgrind’s schoolroom in the opening chapter.  How Gradgrind becomes a more “dynamic” figure, more of a real father figure, in the second book.  How attention is shifted from Louisa as victim to Tom.

Use of Language: 5/5  Speech is clear, varied, fluent, & precise.  There are no significant lapses in grammar, expression, register, or style—the initial mispronunciation of “monotonous” is not a lapse in this sense. EThere is some occasional repetitive phrasing.

 There are some moves towards some appropriate turns of phrase:  “Gradgrind’s virtual world of fact”.  “a general sense of forlornness”.  Louisa as “a stunted character”.  Evidence of conscious style & shaping of expression, with the occasional antithesis, such as “not a marriage of love” but rather “a business arrangement of sorts”.