Adjusting to Intimate Relationships Sharing Responsibilities Changing sex roles: more women work outside the home. men are expected to provide greater emotional support, help with child-rearing. Studies report that when women work outside the home, they still do more housework than men. When men increase the amount of housework they do, marital satisfaction for women improves. Sex roles are changing. More women work outside the home, and men are expected to provide greater emotional support. Several studies report that when women work outside the home, they still do more housework than men. When men increase the amount of housework they do, marital satisfaction for women improves.

Adjusting to Intimate Relationships cont’d Communication and Conflict Issues that create conflict in intimate relationships: in-laws unrealistic expectations child-rearing lack of affection sexuality power struggles communication substance abuse extramarital affairs money Communicating at the outset of a problem rather than waiting can often prevent conflict escalation!

Adjusting to Intimate Relationships cont’d Making the Relationship Better Emotion Focused Therapy: A cognitive therapy that provides a technique for changing basic thought and emotional patterns. GOAL: to help partners feel emotionally connected. The success rate is 70 to 75 percent, according to research.

Adjusting to Intimate Relationships cont’d Making the Relationship Better Mediation: A neutral third party intervenes and assists the couple in managing or resolving their disputes. GOAL: to help couples find mutually agreeable solutions to their problems. The success rate is 80 to 90 percent, according to research. Divorce is not the only solution to marital discord!

Adjusting to Intimate Relationships cont’d Sexuality The longer couples live together, the less frequently they have intercourse. …but the more important the quality of the sexual relationship becomes! Most people express their desire for sexual monogamy, but: 20 to 50% of women and 30 to 60% of men report having engaged in extramarital sex.

Adjusting to Intimate Relationships cont’d Changes Over Time Attribution–a search for the cause of our own or another person’s behavior. Happy couples make relationship-enhancing attributions: Positive event--“She is so thoughtful!” Negative event--“She must be under a lot stress.” Unhappy couples make distress-enhancing attributions: Positive event--“He must be up to something!” Negative event--“He always forgets.” …see Table 12-1 on p. 333.

Divorce and Its Consequences Divorce–the legal dissolution of marriage. The rate among Americans has doubled; one out of two marriages…. The Divorce Experience … is almost always painful. Partners breaking up a committed relationship also experience the same pain. The pain originates from emotional, legal, and social issues. Most people need 2 or 3 years to recover.

Divorce and Its Consequences cont’d Single-Parent Families Divorce takes a toll on children. Age, mental health status, personality, gender, and pre-existing relationships with parents affect a child’s adjustment. They may become depressed, resentful, or aggressive. Remarriage of a parent/introduction of a step-parent into a child’s life can also be stressful.

Divorce and Its Consequences cont’d Single-Parent Families Children of single parents (typically single mothers) often live in poverty. The children may drop out of school, become pregnant, or turn to illicit substances to help them cope. Couples need to think carefully about commitment, marriage, and divorce, when children are involved.

Divorce and Its Consequences cont’d Remarriage Most divorced people remarry; in many instances they marry another divorced person. Second marriages also tend to end in divorce…. When two single parents marry each other and combine their families, they create blended families. Young children adjust better to stepparents than do adolescents. Remarriage Most divorced people remarry; in many instances they marry another divorced person. Second marriages also tend to end in divorce…although some can be quite happy. When two single parents marry each other and combine their families, they create blended families. The new “parent” is a step-parent. Young children adjust better to step-parents than do adolescents.