HOPE-FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23, 2012

1 HOPE-FILLED Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering2

“CAREER STUFF” CAN SEEM Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering3

CAREER Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering4

AN ALTERNATIVE Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering5

Ergon Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering6

HOPE-FILLED Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering7

HOPE balanced inclusive engaging holistic mattering realistic imaginative spiritual creative simple flexible positive supportive gratitude & joy resiliency Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering8

2 WHAT IS Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering9

beliefs people have, whether right or wrong, that they matter to someone else, that they are the object of someone else’s attention, and that others care about them and appreciate them. MATTERING, Amundson, Active Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering10

3 MATTERING Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering11

Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering12 HOPE WILLINGNESS TO TRY

“what difference does it make?” “so what?” “who cares?” “that’s just the way it is” “what’s the use?” “what’s the point of trying?” “why bother?” “I can’t make a difference” I DON’T MATTER - THERE IS NO HOPE - SO WHY Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering13

MATTER substance tangible Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering14

MATTERING substance tangible VISIBLITY & Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering15

VALUE MATTERING substance tangible MAKING A DIFFERENCE importance significance meaning VISIBLITY & Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering16

INVISIBLE Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering17

Liu Bolin: the Vanishing Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering18

INVISIBLE TO Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering19

LEARNED HELPLESSNESS Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering20

the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter. LEARNED HELPLESSNESS Seligman, Learned Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering21

Life Experiences Negative Explanatory Style Nothing I do matters Why try? Nothing I do will ever Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering22

INVISIBLE TO Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering23

CHICAGO Mr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos If someone stood up in a crowd And raised his voice up way out loud And waved his arm and shook his leg You'd notice him If someone in the movie show Yelled "Fire in the second row This whole place is a powder keg!” You'd notice Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering24

CHICAGO Mr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos And even without clucking like a hen Everyone gets noticed, now and then, Unless, of course, that personage should be Invisible, inconsequential me! Cellophane Mister Cellophane Shoulda been my name Mister Cellophane 'Cause you can look right through me Walk right by me And never know I'm Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering25

CHICAGO Mr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos … A human being's made of more than air With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there Unless that human bein' next to you Is unimpressive, undistinguished You know who... Cellophane Mister Cellophane Shoulda been my name Mister Cellophane 'Cause you can look right through me Walk right by me And never know I'm Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering26

SOME SYSTEMIC Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering27

goals work exp education skills, etc CAREER Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering28

@2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering29

@2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering30

@2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering31

WE SEE WHAT MOST Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering32

goals work exp education skills, etc CAREER LIFE Engage people where they are engaged in Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering33

goals work exp education skills, etc CAREER Ergon Communications34Hope-Filled Engagement Engage people where they are engaged in life!!

WE HELP PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT THEY CAN’T Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering35

I HAVE VALUE! WHAT I DO MAKES A Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering36

4 INSIGHTFUL Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering37

BUTTERFLY Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering38

every decision we make and everything we do no matter how small has a profound effect on the world around us BUTTERFLY Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering39

Sensitive Dependence on Initial Conditions BUTTERFLY Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering40

even small and seemingly insignificant changes at the start of a process can produce significantly different results BUTTERFLY Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering41

@2010, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement42

SMALL CHANGE BIG Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering43

WHAT SMALL CHANGES COULD YOU Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering44

LEARNED OPTIMISM: HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND AND YOUR LIFE Martin E. Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering45

LEARNED Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering46

the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter. LEARNED HELPLESSNESS Seligman, Learned Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering47

EXPLANATORY Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering48

the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen EXPLANATORY STYLE Seligman, Learned Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering49

Your way of explaining events to yourself determines how helpless you can become, or how energized, when you encounter [life experiences] I think of your explanatory style as reflecting “the word in your heart.” Each of us carries a word in his heart, a “no” or a “yes.” EXPLANATORY STYLE Seligman, Learned Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering50

explanatory style stems directly from your view of your place in the world— whether you think you are valuable and deserving, or worthless and hopeless EXPLANATORY STYLE Seligman, Learned Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering51

THREE DIMENSIONS OF EXPLANATORY Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering52

@2012, Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering53 PERMANENCE Temporary “this time” Permanent “always happens” PERVASIVENESS Specific “this situation” Universal “whatever I do” PERSONALIZATION External “other factors” Internal “It’s my fault” pessimistic optimistic

EXPLANATORY STYLE LEARNED OPTIMISM LEARNED Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering54

Life Experiences Negative Explanatory Style Nothing I do matters Why try? Nothing I do will ever Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering55 LEARNED HELPLESSNES S

Life Experiences Positive Explanatory Style I matter. I’ll try. I can make a Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering56 LEARNED OPTIMISM

5 SOME PRACTIAL THINGS I FIND Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering57

look and listen for the signs of helplessness, hopelessness, for the signs that people don’t think they matter Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering58

Put myself into the shoes of those who don’t think they matter or that anything they do matters. Explore diversity. Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering59

What are they seeing and hearing when meeting me? What impact am I having on them? More hopeful or more hopeless? Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering61

Tone First contact Connecting Active Listening Valuing Hopeful Creative ATMOSPHERE AND Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering62

Create experiences in which people are surprised by what they have in their lives and by what they can do. SURPRISE Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering63

Favourite Things up to 12 things I like to do? last time? cost / free? planned/spontaneous? alone / others? mind, body, emotion, spirit? cooking crafts games spirituality family/fri ends movies PE MS PE PE” MS 3 days 1 day 1 week today 1 month $ $ F F F $ S/P P S P A A O A/O O Ergon Communications64 Hope-Filled Engagement

Enable people to look at themselves and their lives from multiple perspectives, especially the hopeful ones. MULTIPLE Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering65

What do people need to know and to be able to do In order for what I am asking them to do? What do I have to equip them with before they can do what I ask them to do? BACKSWING & Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering66

Learned helplessness can be unlearned. How can I help people find more hopeful explanations for the life experiences that have taught them that they don’t matter. ALTERNATIVE Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering67

learning a set of skills about how to talk to yourself when you suffer a personal defeat. from a more encouraging viewpoint. LEARNED OPTIMISM & SELF-TALK Seligman, Learned Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering68

@2011, Ergon Communications 69 Hope-Filled Engagement What is a “skill?” SKILL “strength, good at” NO SKILL “something you do” HOPELESS HOPE-FILLED

TRADITIONAL VIEW OF Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering70

Ability + Motivation ⇓ Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering71

EXPANDED VIEW OF Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering72

Ability + Motivation + Optimism ⇓ Gray PoehnellHope-Filled Engagement through Mattering73

HOPE-FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23, 2012