Loss & Grief

List all the things that can be considered a “loss” (The loss spectrum) List all the things that can be considered a “loss” (The loss spectrum)

“Death of a Pet”

Effects of a Loss Loss can cause a wide range of intense emotions, from sadness to anger to numbness. Loss can cause a wide range of intense emotions, from sadness to anger to numbness. Loss can also cause physical and emotional stress. Loss can also cause physical and emotional stress. These feelings are normal and help you cope with loss. These feelings are normal and help you cope with loss. If the feelings don’t pass in time, you should seek help from a parent or trusted adult. If the feelings don’t pass in time, you should seek help from a parent or trusted adult.

Help for Dealing with a Loss To help yourself as you cope with a loss: Get plenty of rest Get plenty of rest Stick to normal routines Stick to normal routines Share memories with others Share memories with others Express your feelings Express your feelings Do not blame yourself or others Do not blame yourself or others

Describe three ways you can help someone cope with a loss.

Show support through simple actions Show support through simple actions offer to run errands or cook a meal offer to run errands or cook a meal Be there for them Be there for them Make sure the person knows you are there for them Make sure the person knows you are there for them Allow the person to share their thoughts and feelings Allow the person to share their thoughts and feelings Believe they will get through it Believe they will get through it Tell the person you have faith that they are strong and will learn to live with the loss Tell the person you have faith that they are strong and will learn to live with the loss Contact help or tell a trusted adult Contact help or tell a trusted adult If person seems depressed, avoids family and friends, or doesn’t seem to be making any progress, tell a trusted adult If person seems depressed, avoids family and friends, or doesn’t seem to be making any progress, tell a trusted adult Allow the person to share thoughts and feelings Allow the person to share thoughts and feelings Listen intently and be respectful of their feelings and emotions Listen intently and be respectful of their feelings and emotions

Grief To grieve is to express deep sadness because of a loss. To grieve is to express deep sadness because of a loss. The grieving process can be divided into five stages. The grieving process can be divided into five stages. Not everyone experiences every stage, or in the same order. Not everyone experiences every stage, or in the same order. If you feel stuck in a stage, ask for help. If you feel stuck in a stage, ask for help.

List and define the five stages of the grieving process

1. Denial Refuse to believe the loss occurred. When people are told they will die soon, their reaction is usually one of disbelief or shock

2. Anger: Outbursts; rage. Blame self or others for the loss. Use anger management skills. When people realize they are going to die, they become hostile, aggravated, or annoyed at God, their family, or the doctor.(don’t use the word anger to describe anger)

3. Bargaining: Make promises to change if person or thing is returned. People who believe in God may promise to reform their lives in exchange for a miraculous recovery

4. Depression: Sadness. Natural and important emotion to express when a loss is experienced. When people realize that bargaining won ’ t work, their last hope has faded and they become sad, withdrawn, or somber - (don ’ t use the word depressed to describe depression)

5. Acceptance: Learn how to live with the loss. Painful/sad feelings still present but realize you will get through it; life will go on They confirm their own death and take care of planning “Why Me?” Video

List and describe three ceremonies that honor a loved one who has passed away.

Wake Wake Ceremony held to allow family and friends to view or watch over the deceased person before the funeral Ceremony held to allow family and friends to view or watch over the deceased person before the funeral Funeral Funeral Ceremony in which a deceased person is buried or cremated Ceremony in which a deceased person is buried or cremated Memorial Service Memorial Service Ceremony to remember the deceased person Ceremony to remember the deceased person Can take place long after the death Can take place long after the death May present a memorial or structure May present a memorial or structure Has anyone participated in any different ceremonies to honor the deceased? Has anyone participated in any different ceremonies to honor the deceased?

How to write a condolence letter 1. Acknowledge the loss and name of the deceased. This sets the purpose and tone of the letter. Let the bereaved know how you learned of the death and how you felt upon hearing the news. Using the name of the deceased is a tribute that comforts most mourners. 1. Acknowledge the loss and name of the deceased. This sets the purpose and tone of the letter. Let the bereaved know how you learned of the death and how you felt upon hearing the news. Using the name of the deceased is a tribute that comforts most mourners. 2. Express your sympathy. Let the bereaved know your sadness. Use words of sympathy that share your own sorrow. This will remind the bereaved they are not alone in their suffering. 2. Express your sympathy. Let the bereaved know your sadness. Use words of sympathy that share your own sorrow. This will remind the bereaved they are not alone in their suffering.

Writing the letter cont’d… 3. Note special qualities of the deceased. Acknowledge those characteristics that you cherished most about the person who has died. These might be qualities of personality (leadership, sensitivity), or attributes (funny, good at sports), or ways the person related to the world (religious, devoted to community welfare). 4. Recall a memory about the deceased. Tell a brief story or anecdote that features the deceased. Try to capture what it was about the person in the story that you admired, appreciated or respected. Talk about how the deceased touched your life. Use humor-the funny stories are often the most appreciated by the bereaved.

Writing the letter cont’d… 5. Remind the bereaved of their personal strengths. Among these qualities might be patience, optimism, religious belief, resilience, competence, and trust. If you can recall something the deceased used to say about the mourner in this regard, you will really be giving your friend a gift. 6. Offer help, but be specific. "If there is anything I can do, please call" actually puts a burden on those in grief who may be totally at a loss about what needs to be done. A definite offer to help with shopping, the kids, volunteer work, or whatever is more appreciated. 6. Offer help, but be specific. "If there is anything I can do, please call" actually puts a burden on those in grief who may be totally at a loss about what needs to be done. A definite offer to help with shopping, the kids, volunteer work, or whatever is more appreciated. 7. End with a word of phrase or sympathy. Somehow, "sincerely," "love," or "fondly," don't quite make it. Try one of these: "You are in my thoughts and prayers." "Our love is with you always." "We share in your grief and send you our love." "My affectionate respects to you and yours."

Assignment Take a few minutes to practice writing a condolence letter using the tips we just learned. Use your own piece of paper. Take a few minutes to practice writing a condolence letter using the tips we just learned. Use your own piece of paper. Choose one of the following as an example: Choose one of the following as an example: “Death of Pet”“Death of Pet” Write a letter to a friend or family member who has recently experienced a lossWrite a letter to a friend or family member who has recently experienced a loss Hypothetical letter regarding a lossHypothetical letter regarding a loss