Hayward Library Presenter: Enid Berman “Handling What You Can’t Control: Managing Stress in Today’s Libraries” Hayward Library Presenter: Enid Berman

External People Work Finances The Unknown The Unknown Internal Negative Self Talk Pessimistic Attitudes Old Belief Systems Unrealistic Expectations Life’s Pressures

Library Pressures  How to handoff a patron when you have stopped being effective with that person  Self-forgiveness when unable to meet prior level of service  Handling doing the same with fewer resources  Expectations of customers and managers under stress EXAMPLES EXAMPLES

Marbles – How do you lose yours?

Steps to Greater Resiliency 1.Improve your Humor (attitude) 2.Positive self-talk 3.Spend time on your priorities 4.Self Nurture

Attitude Is Everything Humor and positive attitude go hand in hand to help us cope with life’s upsets and setbacks. Each when used, frees up the other. Use the questionnaire to see how positive (or not) your attitude is. Any surprises? Fill out questionnaire

Statistics Adult: Adult:  Has about 38,000 negative thoughts out of 50,000 daily Child : Child :  Laughs about 500 times a day, adults only an average of 15 times a day

Psychological Benefits Releases tension Gives You Perspective Promotes Creativity Improves Communication Decreases Conflict

Chronic Pessimism……. Doesn’t allow for humor Promotes depression Feels bad Is contagious Is self-fulfilling Is associated with poor physical health

Play – Then and Now When you were a kid, what were your favorite ways to play? What were your favorite ways to play? All grown up : Do you give yourself permission to play? How often and how do you play?

Unrealistic Internal Demands Negative Self Talk Unrealistic Internal Demands Perfect I need to be Perfect Strong I need to be Strong Please I need to Please

…. Your Priorities…. Big Rocks important  What’s really important to you?  1.  2.  3.  4.  5.

Energy Pie WORK Personal Relationships Personal Relationships Life Maintenance Life Maintenance Self Nurturing Self Nurturing Self-Nurturing Self-Nurturing -- not to be confused with self- indulgence & selfishness

Your new Pie What would you have to do differently to create a new pie? What things would you have time for, that would seem ridiculous in today’s pie? How would it effect your stress level?

Different styles are V alued ~ Golden Rule: you Treat others as you want to be treated Platinum Rule: ~ Platinum Rule: they Treat others as they want to be treated

Animal Types Pick only one statement Add up each column Discuss in your own group  #7  #7 Preferred Communication Style  #20  #20 Feedback –best way to give us positive/constructive feedback

21 Day Rule Ask yourself where your marble level is several times per day What actions will you take, one time a day, to loose your Stress Marbles? How will you reward yourself?