Using the 3-5-7 Model in FGC Darla L. Henry Stephanie Hodge Wolfe Introduction of presenters Introduction of audience—coordinators, facilitators, child welfare agency staff (direct), administrators

Learning Objectives Interpret how grief and loss impact the success of a FGC Explain how the 3-5-7 Model can support the preparation of FGC participants, including children Describe how the 3-5-7 Model can enhance engagement of FGC participants

Family Engagement Practices Embraced a process that invites family members to make decisions for their children credentialing program for the skills needed to provide strength-based family support to families a set of strategies used to connect children with relatives who can give them a sense of connectedness and permanency Family Group Decision Making Family Development Credentialing Family Finding These are just a few practices that have gained much attention in PA over the last several years.

To truly engage families we need to understand where they have been, where they are, and where they are going Read Slide

Separation and loss are common themes The FGC process is often emotionally intense and anxiety-ridden Separation and loss are common themes Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007) FGC brings people together in a way that is different from their typical interactions to generate an immeadiate resolution to a crisis It is an emotionally charged process involving often intense emotions. Intense emotions are often an indicator of investment on some level

Why pay attention to loss? Issues of grief and loss can have a substantial impact on the process If losses are acknowledged and recognized, the trust, security, and openness needed for a successful conference will be more readily achieved Although there has been a great deal of direction provided to those coordinating and facilitating family group conferences, little has been offered to help those workers understand the underlying issues of grief and loss that family members to include children and youth are often dealing with. They are often experiencing losses such as the loss of control, the loss of dignity, the loss of security, the loss of identity, and the loss of belongingness in family. These issues of grief and loss can have a substantial impact on the process. It is important to understand that that these losses are ever present. This understanding will assist coordinators and facilitators in the FGC preparation process. We all know that preparation for participants in a family group conference is critical to having a constructive conference. Participants who understand and are prepared for the conference will be better prepared and more confident in their role in both the conference process as well as in their family plan. Good preparation for participants allows them to better manage painful issues and disagreements with other family members. By providing a framework for understanding the 3-5-7 Model within the context of the Family Group Decision Making process, clarity will be provided for the importance of helping FGC participants, including the child, recognize and grieve losses, so that the trust, security and openness needed for a successful conference will be more readily achieved.

Grief and Loss in FGC Using Family Group Conferencing in the Context of Death and Dying (Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell, 2007) Issue was not previously addressed in conferencing or bereavement literature But we know, loss is about more than death… Where are we starting from? Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007) wrote about the use of FGC in the context of death and dying, but prior to that work the issue had not been addressed in literature.

Impact of Child Placement on Parents Pervasive and painful feelings of loss Threats to: Self-Esteem Parental and Family Identity Sense of Belonging/togetherness Security Lacking of a sense of purpose Criticism and Blame Field Guide to Child Welfare: Placement and Permanence, Child Welfare League of America, 1998 Content from CWLA

Impact for other Relatives Helplessness/frustration/confusion Concern (fear) for both the child and the parent Embarrassment/Shame/Guilt Anger/Resentment Realignment of Relationships Concern for both parent and child Seeing a family member struggle in their parenting role can be difficult. There are often conflicting loyalties to the parent and to the child or children involved (i.e. desire to support the parent while maintaining the child needs in the forefront) Anger/Resentment—Toward parent and/or child welfare system Many kinship caregivers noted that birth parents are happy to have their freedom back and to pass along the responsibilities of parenthood. This is particularly true of substance-abusing parents who can continue their addiction without being concerned with how it affects their children (http://www.urban.org/publications/310773.html). Family members may feel ambivalence about the capacity of the child’s parent to accomplish goals. There may also be a feeling that the child welfare agency can’t (or won’t) help. Lack of trust between family member and parent and between family member and agency Realignment of Relationships—Grandparent to Parent, Aunt/Uncle to Parent, Sibling to Parent When family members become caregivers to the child, the relationships in the family may change. The person who was grandma may now be carrying out the day to day parenting duties. It may take time for those involved to accept and adjust to these new roles http://cwla.org/programs/kinship/stressmanagement.htm Many kinship caregivers experience a limited social life, infringement of privacy, and sleep deprivation as a result of providing care. Caregivers typically experience chronic emotional and physical fatigue; family and marital conflicts; social isolation, including loss of friends, recreational opportunities, privacy, and hobbies; and feelings of anger, guilt, grief, resentment, hopelessness, and anxiety. Dwindling finances can lead to despair. Kinship caregivers are at high risk for work absenteeism and poor health because of the intense level of stress they endure.

Themes of Loss (for Families with Child Welfare System Involvement) Loss of control Loss of dignity Loss of security Loss of identity Loss of belongingness in family As we have just described, issues of grief and loss are ever present in the work that we do. In summary, family members are dealing with many complex and integrated themes of loss, including the loss of control, the loss of dignity, the loss of security, the loss of identity, and the loss of belongingness in a family. Go to next slide

Important to understand these issues as you prepare family for FGC GRIEF Important to understand these issues as you prepare family for FGC The 3-5-7 Model can help coordinators prepare participants who are experiencing losses Read Slide

3-5-7 MODEL BEST PRACTICE GUIDE that FRAMES WORK of: RECONCILING LOSSES REBUILDING RELATIONSHIPS through PAST & CURRENT ATTACHMENTS ENCOURAGING PERMANENCY through: CLAIMING ACTIVITIES by FAMILIES GRIEF WORK of both children and families as they move towards feelings of BELONGINGNESS PROVIDES a COMMON LANGUAGE for the WORK of GRIEF and RELATIONSHIP BUILDING

CORE WORK LOSS SAFETY ATTACHMENTS/RELATIONSHIPS Repeated, profound losses SAFETY Grieving occurs through relationships of perceptual safety ATTACHMENTS/RELATIONSHIPS Who will help me with the pain of loss? Who will I belong to in a secure relationship?

OUTCOMES ENCOURAGE EXPRESSION of FEELINGS EMBRACE PAST LIFE EVENTS, RELATIONSHIPS, CULTURE CLARIFY CONFUSIONS, QUESTIONS ESTABLISH SUPPORTIVE CONNECTIONS VISUALIZE POSITIVE FUTURE

ENCOURAGE EXPRESSION of FEELINGS The voicing of feelings and emotions supports the healing process Explore topics of interest to them- Start where child/youth/family is Empowerment results from feelings being honored Strengths are recognized

EXPLORE the PAST Claiming history encourages identity development by filling holes of lost self Recognizes all events in one’s life Honors heritage/culture/ethnicity Encourages making connections and the building of relationships through repeating the attachment process

CLARIFY CONFUSIONS & QUESTIONS Limited understanding of life events Information is incomplete, missing, unknown Model: provides opportunity for truthful information; thereby opening activities to improve self esteem Increases capacity to reconcile previous relationships and form new relationships

ESTABLISH SUPPORTIVE CONNECTIONS Have lost many relationships in lives Surfaces issues that have stood in way of building relationships Identifies people who were part of their past to re-establish possible connections Builds web of supportive connections Builds relationships through cycling of attachment process

VISUALIZE POSITIVE FUTURE Past relationships are woven into current relationships Meaning is given to lost relationships so family can move on Trust develops in safe/secure environment; beginning of journey to belonging Achieves support for goals of reunification, adoption, kinship care, legal custodianship Future is “visible”

MODEL 3-5-7 CIA 3 5 7 TASKS: Clarification Integration Actualization CONCEPTUAL QUESTIONS: Who am I? What Happened to me? Where am I going? How will get there? When will I know I belong? SKILL ELEMENTS: Engagement Listening Truthfulness Validation Creating safety Bringing the past forward Pain work is the process 5 7

TASKS of WORK 3 CIA CLARIFICATION: reasons family/child are provided services life events of child and family INTEGRATION: Identify all family relationships Recognize families memberships and loyalties ACTUALIZATION: visualize permanent relationships, Belongingness/security with one family

Conceptual Questions 5 Who Am I?………………………Identity What Happened To Me?………Loss Where Am I Going?……………Attachment How Will I Get There?………….Relationships When Will I Know I belong?... Claiming/Safety

Proprietary: 3-5-7 Model LLC 7 Critical Elements ENGAGING the child/youth… LISTENING to the child/youth’s words… BEING BRIEF, when you speak … AFFIRMING the child/youth and their STORY … Creating a SAFE SPACE for the work… BRING ING the PAST into the PRESENT… RECOGNIZING that PAINFUL FEELINGS are REFLECTED in BEHAVIORS Proprietary: 3-5-7 Model LLC

CLARIFICATION WORK: Answering questions 1 & 2 and using the 7 skills To GRIEVE LOSSES ESTABLISH/AFFIRM IDENTITY EXPLORE FEELINGS TOOLS LIFE BOOK LOSS/LIFE LINE LOSS HISTORY CHART

CHILD/FAMILY LOSS/LIFE LINE

INTEGRATION work: Answering questions 1-4 and using the 7 skills To RECOGNIZE & IDENTIFY FAMILY ATTACHMENTS AND MEMBERSHIPS EXPLORE LOYALTY AND STRENGTHS WITHIN FAMILY Tools LIFE BOOK (CON’T) COLLAGES PUZZLES

ATTACHMENT CYCLE Vera Fahlberg Physical or Psychological Need SECURITY TRUST ATTACHMENT Behavior stops or changes Behavioral Response CONTINUITY STABILITY MUTUALITY Hess Satisfaction Of Need

ACTUALIZATION work: answering all questions and using all skills To VISUALIZE BELONGINGNESS within “FAMILY”; SAFETY and CLAIMING RECONCILIATION/ ACCEPTANCE of PAST EVENTS; CRISIS WORK FOCUS ON FUTURE TOOLS LIFE BOOK (CON’T) REMEMBERED PEOPLE CHART FAMILY ACTIVITIES

Be Loved, Cared for, Valued, Important Longing For: Be Loved, Cared for, Valued, Important

3-5-7 in FGC Clarification (preparing for the meeting) Integration (joining of strengths) Actualization (the plan is developed and implemented) The 3-5-7 Model provides a useful framework to explain what happens during a FGC process. In the FGC process, it is critical to provide support for the tasks of clarification (preparing for the meeting process), integration (joining of strengths to resolve concerns), and actualization (the culmination of the process, whereby the plan is developed and implemented). The 3-5-7 Model frames the preparation and engagement of FGC participants, including children, in the context of grief and loss.

3-5-7 in FGC……The Five Questions Who am I? Unite participants as people who love and care for the child-give back family identity What happened to me? Sharing of information Where am I going? Purpose of the conference How will I get there? By using the family’s strengths When will I know I belong? The Family Plan

FGC can be therapeutic, but remember… …the primary purpose of the FGC is to address a planning question Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007)

Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007) Coordinator’s Role Allow expression and exploration of feelings of shame, stigma, anger, blame Keep focus on planning Examine feelings about loss only to the extent it impacts the conference Prepare participants for expressions of grief “acting out”, depression Explore whether intense emotions are impacting attendance Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007) In Using FGC in the Context of Death and Dying, Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007) wrote about the impact of grief and loss on the conferencing process. These authors provide some useful guidelines in terms of the coordinator’s role in the process. Keep behaviors of parents and/or family members in the context of grief. (Give some examples).

Closing thoughts Recognize the losses Maintain the focus

References Henry, D. L. (2005). 3-5-7 Model: Preparing children for permanency. Children and Youth Services Review, 27, 197-211. Rycus, J. & Hughes, R. (1998). Field Guide to Child Welfare: Placement and Permanence, CWLA Press: Washington D.C. Schmid, J., Harris, C., Hassabu, I., & Barnwell, L. (2007). Using family group conferencing in the context of death and dying. Protecting Children, 22, 51-60.

For more information Darla L. Henry Stephanie Hodge Wolfe dhenry@darlahenry.org Stephanie Hodge Wolfe stwolfe@nhsonline.org