The Relationship Principles of Jesus Mount Olivet Baptist Church Adolphus C. Lacey, Senior Pastor 1

Relationship Principle #4 As You Judge, You Will Be Judged Last Week’s Memory Verse Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” 2

Relationship Principle #5 The Greatest Are Servants Memory Verse Matthew 23:11-12 “The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” 3

I. The Desire to Be Great There is a strong connection between our desire to be great and our decision to humbly serve. Greatness comes through the path of service and this was a constant theme of Jesus’ teaching. In every relationship we face the decision: Will I exalt myself or will I humble myself? 4

I. The Desire to Be Great Take this test of greatness daily: ◦Who will be the first to apologize after an argument? ◦Can I handle this disagreement with my friend? ◦Who get the remote control? “Humbles himself points to a choice you and I must make. 5

II. How Humility Handles Ambition There is nothing wrong with having ambitions. There are three reasons everyone should have great ambitions: ◦We are created by God. ◦We are given responsibility over this world. ◦We are made to reflect God’s image in this world. 6

II. How Humility Handles Ambition Who Is the Greatest in the Kingdom? Matthew tells of Jesus’ bringing a child into the disciples’ midst to paint a powerful picture. Pointing to the child, Jesus declared, “Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:4). 7

II. How Humility Handles Ambition One way to exalt yourself is to demand your own way. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be demanding? The problem is that you cannot demand the most important things. 8

Unless You Become Like Children What can we learn from a child? At the core all children have one thing in common: they have to depend on someone else – on their parents or other adults in their lives. 9 II. How Humility Handles Ambition

Jesus tells us that in a healthy relationship, those who depend ask for help from those they depend on: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7). Make the decision to depend on God. 10

III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed Our relationships are filled with the need for notice. Our Scripture tells us that the disciples have a real issue among themselves about who is at the top of the heap and who is the most noticed. Jesus teaches His disciples about humility by pointing to the religious leaders of His day: “Do not do what they do…Everything they do is done for men to see” (Matthew 23: 3.5). 11

III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed Jesus gave His disciples a list of three things that served as a telltale sign of their need to be noticed: “They make their phylacteries wide…; they love the place of honor at banquets…; they love to…have men call them ‘Rabbi’” (Matthew 23:5-7). 12

III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed They Make Their Phylacteries Wide A phylactery was a little box worn on the head that contained Scripture verses. The phylactery is a perfect picture of our love for symbols. When we are caught up in the need to be noticed, we begin to love symbols. God does not care about our symbols – He cares about the humility in our hearts! 13

III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed They Love the Place of Honor at Banquets Those who need to be noticed also have a love of recognition and honor. For these religious leaders, it meant making sure they had a place at the head table. We can fall in love with head tables also. 14

III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed They Loved to Have Men Call Them “Rabbi” The religious leaders had a love of titles. It was not enough to be a teacher; these religious leaders of Jesus’ day wanted to hear people call them “Teacher.” There is nothing inherently wrong with titles, and titles can help let others know about your responsibilities. Remember that a title is only important in that it expresses your ability to serve others. 15

III. How Humility Handles Our Need to Be Noticed Noticing the Need of Others The only way to be cured of this need to be noticed is to start noticing other people’s needs. We all have to deal with pride in our lives. How do we set aside pride to focus on the needs of others? Trust God to meet your need for notice! Paul exudes this confidence: “My God will use His wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need” (Philippians 4:19 NCV). 16

IV. How Humility Handles Our Tendency to Compare Because we equate being first with being greatest, we are always comparing. This tendency to compare has an immeasurable impact on our relationships. See Luke 14:7-14. In most of the world today, we equate being first with being greatest. 17

IV. How Humility Handles Our Tendency to Compare Greatness is a matter of humbly living the life God gave you to live. Do you humble yourself by taking the lowest place? Making the decision to take the lowest place is very different from tolerating your placement in the lowest seat. 18

IV. How Humility Handles Our Tendency to Compare As we grow in spiritual maturity, we typically go through three phases as we consider which spot to seek. ◦In phase one, we are ruled by selfishness, and so we strive for the top seat. ◦In phase two, we take the lower spot, hoping it will get us to the top spot. ◦In phase three, we are equally comfortable in the bottom spot or the top spot. We have realized it does not really matter who we think is first. 19

V. How Humility Handles Our Relationship with God When you exalt yourself, you end up with a do-it-yourself design for relating to God. In Luke 18:9-14, Jesus pointed to the signs of do-it-yourself religion. ◦You become confident in yourself. ◦You become condemning of others. ◦You become content with externals. 20

VI. Vine and Branches Jesus gives us a picture of what humility and greatness look like in John 15, where He teaches about the vine and the branches. He said, “I am the vine; you are the branches” (verse 5). God does not intend for you to live a burdensome life – one where your relationships are spinning out of control. God wants us to live lives that bear fruit. 21

VI. Vine and Branches I Am a Branch In John 15, Jesus compares our lives to a vineyard. God is the gardener, Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches. God is the one who tends your life. Jesus is the vine. The vine draws life- giving and fruit-bearing strength from the soil to give to the branches. 22

VI. Vine and Branches You are a branch. What is the job of a branch? The branch must stay attached to the vine. The branch reproduces the life that is in the vine. The fruit is being like Jesus Christ - not just in your thoughts but also in your actions. 23

VI. Vine and Branches You are a branch that God expects to be fruitful, and in order to be fruitful, branches must be pruned. Pruning hurts. There is no pruning without pain. But in the pain there is the promise of greater fruit. 24

VI. Vine and Branches Jesus Is the Vine Jesus told us that we as the branches must abide in the vine. The branch needs the vine all the time. There is a deep connection between abiding in Christ and love. 25

VII. The Daily Decision of Humility If you are to choose humility, it begins with how you think about humility. Humility has more to do with how you think about others and how you think about God. Think of Others As More Important Than Yourself Philippians 2:3-4 – Paul points to selfish ambition and vain conceit. 26

VII. The Daily Decision of Humility At their core, relationships are about giving, not getting – and that’s why selfish ambition is so destructive to relationships. Self-focused conceit is equally destructive to relationships. 27

VII. The Daily Decision of Humility Humble Yourself under God’s Mighty Hand Peter declares, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Peter 5:5-6). Humility is not putting yourself down, it is lifting God up. Humility is being honest about who you are. 28