Rapport (The unspoken ‘good’ feeling you get from some people)

Why is this useful? Communication is %!!**###(!) difficult to get right. When we communicate (as I am now), the audience (YOU) will create your understanding of what I said from 7% (the words I used – surface meaning) 38%(the tone of the conversation – deep meaning) 55% (the body language message ) Rapport is based on non-verbal clues such as body language –so can influence 55% of your meaning

Rapport can be created Mirroring - gently moving into the same position as your partner so you ‘reflect’ their position. Matching - match the speed and depth of breathing, tone and volume of speaking. This creates micro signals that cut through the partners ‘noise’ filters and allows you to communicate better.

Rapport can be created Pacing & Leading -Rhythm is very important as a behaviour signal. Using rhythm to match a partner is very effective. Look for patterns in their movements, gestures, etc and rhythmically reflect these – referred to as ‘pacing’. Once rhythms are matched, then rapport is established and you can ‘lead’ by acting in the rhythmic pattern. Pace, pace, lead is the plan.

Practice – role plays 1.You are beginning a meeting with a stranger. Sit down and introduce yourself. Use gestures, movements so your partner can pace (pick up and reflect rhythm) from them. See how it feels. Swap. Discuss. 2. Speaker is agitated and acting fast as they report an incident. You match their pace (rapport) and then try to slow them down (pace, pace, lead) to relax them. 3.In a small group let someone influence the group by their breathing. All match and follow. See what happens.

Feedback – nothing happens without it “The feedback loop” is the most important part of communication. “The meaning of the message is the feedback you receive”. “Giving and receiving feedback are important team building tools”.

Feedback –What is it? Can be good / bad Can be general / specific Can be right / wrong Can be immediate / delayed Can be written / verbal / electronic / physical. Can be useful / useless.

Good feedback is... S pecific – accurate data, not emotional, not vague. T imely - as soon as possible after the action/event/outcome. A ction based -relates to named actions and outcomes. R esults shown – outcome should be put into context so that the ‘universal picture’ is part of the feedback. The S-T-A-R model

Key point about S-T-A-R It is about being effective as a leader – not for making people ‘feel good’. This means the language and tone are professional, accurate, factual, etc. To reward good work:- 1.S-T-A-R ( in workplace asap) 2.recognition and emotional buzz separately.

Language (example/suggestion only) “when you... (describe action)... I saw... (details of what happened) and the... (results were)... which means.. (context etc)”.

S-T-A-R Practice role play 1.‘X’ has handled a complaint from a client promptly and relayed the problem to management so a quick response from them helped prevent losing the client. 2.‘X’ opened the warehouse door to allow a delivery just as they were leaving last evening and this means the production line has not stopped – which would otherwise have happened as the delivery was late.