Forging a Family of Friends

Calgary Families

Five Increasing Trends More lone parent families More single dads More common law couples More same sex couples More and more young adult children (20-29) at home

Crisis Response 2010 – 6636 calls per month Over 200 calls per day in Calgary!

Positive outcome Predictors

Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this right. “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that is may go well with you and that you enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

Goal of Parenting To disciple children into fully independent adults, who love and serve God, and with whom we have a friendship.

Phases of Parenting 1. Discipline Years – ages Training Years – ages Coaching Years – ages Friendship Years – ages 18+

Phases of Parenting 1. Discipline Years – ages 0-5 Key danger - inconsistency 2. Training Years – ages 6-12 Key danger – trying to be friends too early 3. Coaching Years – ages Key danger – Discipline that embitters 4. Friendship Years – ages 18+ Key danger – controlling instead of letting go

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this right.

Damaging Dynamics Deserve Discipline

3 Things that deserve the harshest correction: 1)Disobedience (Defiance)

Damaging Dynamics Deserve Discipline 3 Things that deserve the harshest correction: 1)Disobedience (Defiance) 2)Dishonesty

Damaging Dynamics Deserve Discipline 3 Things that deserve the harshest correction: 1)Disobedience (Defiance) 2)Dishonesty 3)Disrespect

The positives Obedience showssubmission Truthfulness buildstrust Respect demonstrateshonor

Ephesians 6:2,3 “Honor your father and mother” – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that is may go well with you and that you enjoy long life on the earth.”

Big Questions ? ? ?

The Promises Happiness

The Promises Unity

The Promises Enjoy long life

Wally and the horse

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children;

What exasperates children? 1.Unrealistic expectations

What exasperates children? 1.Unrealistic expectations 2.Criticism

What exasperates children? 1.Unrealistic expectations 2.Criticism 3.Excessive, unclear, or inconsistent rules

What exasperates children? 1.Unrealistic expectations 2.Criticism 3.Excessive, unclear, or inconsistent rules 4.Being treated as less mature than you are

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

How can parents effectively train their children?

1.Modeling

How can parents effectively train their children? 2. Clear, realistic expectations with clear consequences

How can parents effectively train their children? 3. Compassionate discipline

The importance of a dad

How can parents effectively train their children? 4. Using influence

How can parents effectively train their children? 5. Aspire to excellence

Parenting has great rewards Best Parent