Olivia Morris and Chelsea Hilbert

Everyone goes through it. Today the living are isolated from the dying. Many parents isolate children from a dying person and the funeral. Death portrayed in the media is often misleading and confusing. Many parents do not feel comfortable talking about death. To allow children to express their feelings.

1 in 20 children will lose a parent by the age of in 3 children will spend their first 18 years with one parent. 1 in 5 families move each year. Almost every child will experience the death of a pet, friend or relative.

Ages 3 to 5 Children don’t understand the finality of death. View dead as being able to eat, work, laugh, and cry as if alive. Children often seem matter of fact or callous about death. Because of this they see no reason to grieve. Adults should not explain death to this age in terms of sleep or vacation.

Ages 5 to 9. Have understanding of finality. Believe that an outside source such as “bogeyman” or “death man” causes death. Many guilt feelings are associated with death. Teachers need to be aware of these guilt feeling and try to alleviate them.

Ages 9 and older. Fully Understand the finality of death. Know that it is something that happens within the body and happens to everyone. Associate death with other, “old” people. Feelings expressed in such ways as acting out, crying, anger, or self-injurious behavior.

Grief is the psychological and sometimes physical response to the death of a loved one or to the loss or longing of someone due to transition. 2 types of grief: Low-grief- have already grieved prior to death. High-grief- more emotional and lasts longer because of no preparation for death. Three stages of grief.

Begins after hearing about the death of a loved one. Includes crying, confusion, stress, and disbelief. Can typically last up to two weeks after the death. Denial is the reason that many act calm during a funeral and this should not be mistaken as acceptance of the death. Grievers desperately need support from friends and loved ones.

Begins after survivors have recognized the reality of death. Usually lasts up to one year. Feeling experienced are sadness, depression, guilt, preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased, anger, apathy, and numbness. Not uncommon to experience loss of appetite, insomnia, crying spells, and restlessness. Children are usually angry, appear selfish and act younger than they are.

Begins approximately one year to 15 months after the death. Still depression during this stage. Survivors should be allowed to express their grief and not be asked to repress it. Recalls positive memories of the deceased. Survivor accepts death and tries to move on with life.

Important for school professionals to understand to help children grieve. Grief is normal, natural, and a healthy response to loss. Grief is a unique, lifelong process for everyone who have experienced a loss. Everyone has the capability to heal in a supportive and emotionally safe environment.

Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance These stages should not be evaluated as good or bad. One of the biggest fear of dying people is the fear of being alone.

It is important for teachers to be honest and open. Teachers should be as factual as possible. Teachers should avoid providing personal values no controversial issues related to death. Teachers should be especially good and supportive listeners. Teachers should ask children to explain what they have learned about death during class.

Teachers will have to deal with this topic and should be prepared. Best to discuss death before it occurs. There are several guidelines to remember when discussing death with elementary and middle school students.

It is important for school personnel to understand how to help children deal with disasters and traumatic events. Children feel a loss of control. They experience a loss of stability. They are very self-centered. Teachers should practice emergency procedures. Teachers should try to focus on some positive events surrounding the event. Teachers should try to maintain a routine for children.

Symptoms- Clinginess Aggressiveness Withdrawal from activities or friends Increased fight with friends School of avoidance Loss of interest and poor concentration in school Regressive behavior Headaches or other physical complaints Depression Fear about safety Difficulty sleeping because of nightmares.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death of 10 to 14 year olds. It is first important for teachers to understand the risk and protective factors associated with youth suicide.

Things that can enhance resilience to suicide. Includes: Easy access to help for emotional and mental health problems. Restricted access to lethal means. Family and community support. Learned skills and problem solving, conflict resolution, and nonviolent handling of arguments. Cultural and religious beliefs that discourage suicide and support self-preservation.

Changes in physical appearance. Changes in eating or sleeping habits. Apathy about school. Outbursts of anger, mood swings, and drastic changes in behavior. Withdrawal from family, friends, and social activities. Increased use of alcohol and other drugs. Recent death of a loved one. Preoccupation with death. Giving away of prized possessions. Direct and indirect statements about suicide. Depression.

Don’t dismiss school or encourage funeral attendance during school hours. Don’t dedicate a memorial to the deceased. Don’t have a large school assembly. Do give the students facts Do emphasize prevention and everyone’s role. Do provide individual and group counseling. Do emphasize that no on is to blame for the suicide. Do emphasize that help is available and there are alternatives to suicide. Do contact the family of the deceased. Do ask students to make a plan for after school and the evening.

Compassionate Friends Public Broadcast Service Suicide Hotlines

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