BUILDING AND MAINTAINING WIN-WIN RELATIONSHIPS BUILDING AND MAINTAINING WIN-WIN RELATIONSHIPS pages

KEY WORDS ► People Skills ► Empathy ► Patience ► Calmness ► Tact ► Good Communication Dynamic Assertive

Assertive Communication  Assertive communication is the heart of sending the message.  Assertive communication is the heart of sending the message.  Deal with difficult people in protecting one's rights while respecting the rights of others.  Deal with difficult people in protecting one's rights while respecting the rights of others.  Ask for what you want, speak to be heard, set limits, and say no.  Ask for what you want, speak to be heard, set limits, and say no.  Stay out of win/lose situations and promote win/win outcomes.  Stay out of win/lose situations and promote win/win outcomes.  Provide and respond to positive and negative feedback.  Provide and respond to positive and negative feedback

Key Principles of Dynamic Communication Key Principles of Dynamic Communication  Use a neutral language for identifying the different strengths people possess  Use a neutral language for identifying the different strengths people possess  Make others comfortable, not yourself. (Philippians 2:4)  Make others comfortable, not yourself. (Philippians 2:4)  Approach every relationship as a win-win from the beginning.  Approach every relationship as a win-win from the beginning

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING (with clients, stakeholders and organizational members) Establish formal working relationships  Respect confidentiality  Demonstrate an interest in their work-related issues and activities  Demonstrate an interest in their work-related issues and activities Build informal relationships  Practice simple courtesies  Show an interest in their issues and activities that go beyond the workplace  Follow through on commitments

Develop Win-Win Relationships Actively seek opportunities to contribute to positive outcomes Actively seek opportunities to contribute to positive outcomes Approach issues or disagreements with the objective of reaching win/win solutions Approach issues or disagreements with the objective of reaching win/win solutions Focus on people's good qualities rather than on their deficiencies Focus on people's good qualities rather than on their deficiencies Confront the issue rather than the person. Ask open-ended questions that encourage others to give their points of view Ask open-ended questions that encourage others to give their points of view Practice effective listening. Look for areas of common agreement and work from there to achieve a positive outcome Look for areas of common agreement and work from there to achieve a positive outcome Foster an environment of openness and trust Allow people to save face

Remember that people don ’ t necessarily like or respect those who always agree with them. HOW TO DISAGREE WITHOUT BEING DISAGREEABLE HOW TO DISAGREE WITHOUT BEING DISAGREEABLE Before expressing disagreement, understand that two sides can be right, that two sides may have equal merit. Separate ego from your work, your possessions, and your opinions; then allow the other person to do the same. Make sure that a specific situation merits your attention. Make sure that a specific situation merits your attention

GUIDELINES IN EXPRESSING DISAGREEMENT ☺ Reduce or expand the opposing idea to its ultimate end. ☺ Reduce or expand the opposing idea to its ultimate end. ☺ Examine the sources of both your and the other person ’ s information. ☺ Examine the sources of both your and the other person ’ s information. ☺ Use analogy when you can. ☺ Use you own experience or history. ☺ Talk “ around ” the subject rather than through it

Use words that emphasize agreement rather than disagreement. Use words that emphasize agreement rather than disagreement.  “ I don ’ t agree with you. ”  “ You are absolutely wrong. ”  “ You are dead wrong about that. ”  “ You don ’ t know what you ’ re talking about. ”  “ Oh yeah? Says who? ”  ” Yes, but …, ”  “ Yes, but you don ’ t understand. ”  “ Someone told you a lie. ”  “ Someone misinformed you. ”  “ Listen, people, I ’ m afraid that you ’ ve got the wrong picture. ”  “ Listen, people, I ’ m afraid that you ’ ve got the wrong picture. ”

GUIDELINES IN CONFRONTING AND RESOLVING CONFLICTS0 GUIDELINES IN CONFRONTING AND RESOLVING CONFLICTS0 Confront privately on private issues. Deal with conflict promptly. Treat the other person with respect. Listen until you understand the other side of the issue State your own needs, feelings, views, or goals. Define areas of agreement and disagreement. Limit discussion to the here and now and keep to one issue. Limit discussion to the here and now and keep to one issue. Guard against character attacks Don ’ t push the other person into a corner

Consider ways to improve our ability to control things so that we can focus more on people. The power of things is formidable. It can cause us to ignore a more important aspect of our profession - people. Things Get In the Way of Our Relationships With People  

Reasons why we put things (tasks, paperwork, etc.) before people Reasons why we put things (tasks, paperwork, etc.) before people  Task work pushes aside "idle" talk.  The material world often predominates the immaterial world.  The material world often predominates the immaterial world.  We feel we are judged by what we do, not who we are.  We feel we are judged by what we do, not who we are.  Obsessive-compulsive behaviour.  Relationships don't fit our "deadlines “ mentality  Relationships don't fit our "deadlines “ mentality  Seen results take priority over the unseen relationship.  Seen results take priority over the unseen relationship

Some Solutions Straighten Up Your Desk Cut Back Toss Refer Act File  shorthand for the key concept of traffic - what moves in must move out

“People will never care how much you know until they know how much you care.” “People will never care how much you know until they know how much you care.” God Bless You

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