2-Cows…. and Capitalism

Traditional Capitalism  You have 2 Cows  You sell one and buy a bull  Your heard multiplies, & the economy grows  You sell them and retire on the income

French Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  You go on strike because you want 3 Cows

British Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  Both are Mad!

American Capitalism  You have 2-Cows.  You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your friend at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for 5-Cows.  The milk rights of the 6-Cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7-Cows back to your listed company.  The annual report says the company owns 8-Cows, with an option on 1 more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9-Cows.  No balance sheet available for release  The public buys your Bull.

Japanese Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  You then create clever cow cartoon images called CowkiMon and market them worldwide.

Australian Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of 4-Cows  You are confused when the cow drops dead.

German Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.

Canadian Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  One speaks French, one speaks English.  One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it.  They both play ice hockey & life goes- on.

Italian Capitalism  You have 2-Cows, but you don't know where they are.  You break for lunch.

Swiss Capitalism  You have 5000-Cows, none of which belong to you.  You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.

Chinese Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  You have 300 people milking them  You claim full employment, high bovine productivity  You arrest & detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.

Russian Capitalism  You have 2-Cows  You count them & learn you have 5-Cows  You count them again and learn you have 42- Cows  You count them again and learn you have 12- Cows  You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Lebanese Capitalism  You have no cows  The Syrians have one cow  You convince them to sell the cow to the Kuwaitis with a 50% profit  The Syrians are satisfied with the 50% they made  The Kuwaitis are happy because you arranged a good deal for them  Your commission is worth TEN cows

Saudi Capitalism  You buy 1000-Cows  There is no grass, just sand  You buy European grass for them  You hire one foreigner to milk them and 100 Saudis to watch him  The milk cost you 500% more  You call it "WATANI" and sell it in the local market

Egyptian Capitalism  You have One-Cow  You keep telling people you have Ten