Family Communication How We Talk to Each Other Monday, November 5, 2007

Goals This Afternoon Understand family and business meetings Learn how to establish a Family Council Strengthen family communication skills

Starting Point Who has a regular, structured Board meeting? A Family Council Meeting? What does your family need to talk about?

AMERICA “Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations” MEXICO “Father-Merchant Son-Playboy Grandson-Peasant” ITALY “From the stables to the stars and back to the stables in three generations” CHINA “Peasant shoes to peasant shoes in three generations”

CANADA Opportunity to learn from families around the world

What’s the Problem?

The Three Circles Ownership BusinessFamily

Conflicting Purpose FAMILY Emotion based Mission: to nurture family Equality rules Permanent relationships BUSINESS Task based Mission: profitability Competency rules Temporary Resistant to change relationships Exploit change

Governance The processes, principles, structures and relationships that help organisations realise their vision and objectives.

Managing Complexity Three separate governance structures within one family business system: 1. Family organisation 2. Business organisation 3. Shareholder organisation

Purpose Ownership BusinessFamily Build and continue enterprise Professionalise family culture, activities, values Recognise and resolve shareholder issues

Starting Point Family Governance 1. Address the issues and assumptions 2. Create a family governance structure: Family Consitution Mission Statement Family Council 3. Maintain regular communication: Retreats 4. Spend quality time together 5. Monitor progress

Complex Relationships Five people, 10 relationships

More Complexity Nine people, 36 relationships

Complexity in the Family System Successor asks father about retirement plans Father sees son as a threat Father criticises son’s work performance Son sees Father as out of touch Son convinced that father should retire Son talks to other family members

Communication Skills “We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are. We do not hear things as they are, we hear them as we are.” The Talmud

Start the Discussion UNSPOKEN SPOKEN DISCUSSIBLE

Use Active Listening Skills Attending Inquiry Restating Acknowledging

Speak from Your Perspective Use “I” statements State what you’ve observed Describe the impact on you Ask for what you need

Build on Strengths What works well now? What are common values? What are areas for improvement?

Guidelines for Family Meetings Define responsibilities How are members appointed/retire? How does the group agree? How does it relate to other entities? Length of office How decisions are recorded Must have a chairperson

Agree how to Agree

Types of Family Business Owner Managed Sibling Partnership Golf Tennis Football c. John Ward PhD Cousin Syndicate

Setting up a Family Council Structure Objectives Inclusiveness

Create Structure Schedule regular meetings Formal Agenda Rotating Chair Bring in outside expertise

Set Objectives Become a learning family Promote family discussion Define family values, mission, vision Build trust and understanding Develop decision-making process Keep family members informed

Be Inclusive Consider extended family Encourage participation Track attendance Ensure equal playing field

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Peter Drucker

How to Reach Us Jennifer East Founder ONIDA Coaching + Consulting Inc. 396 Brunswick Avenue, Unit 2 Toronto, Ontario, Canada M5R 2Z4 T: F: E: W: