Speaker: Ms Jessie Toh Family Life Educator Fei Yue Community Services

You are a grandparent to your grandchild You are a student to all your teachers You are someone’s best friend You are a good ….. Good worker to your boss What do we have in common … You have a family You are a grandchild to your grandparent You are a son / daughter to your parent You are a brother / sister to your siblings You are a to someone You are a … Father / Mother to your Children Wife / Husband

How it all began ……  Cupid at work  Falling in LOVE …  Falling deeply in LOVE …

Passion Continues ……

 What are your Reasons for Marrying ?  What do you want your Teens to learn from your Marriage ?  What is Falling in LOVE ?  How much do the teens know ?  What do you need to know ?  Parents’ roles in educating teens on LOVE and RELATIONSHIP ?

I, (Bride/Groom), take (you/thee) (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold you from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, or for poorer, in sickness and in health. I further promise to love you and cherish you, and be faithful to you for as long as we both shall live.

Traditional Values:  We can’t stay together if we don’t get married  This is a sign of independence  We can’t have babies if we don’t get married  This is something all adults would do in life  This is the most common living arrangement for adults  It is a license for a couple to conduct sexual activity  Because my mother say so.

Positive Reasons:  Companionship  Love and Intimacy  Supportive partnership  Sexual Partnership  Sharing Parenthood  Sharing life till end of time

Establishing the priority of marriageEstablishing the priority of marriage –“ Dad and I are the most important people in each others’ lives” Teaching the value of independenceTeaching the value of independence –“ Mom and I are always there for each other” Instilling the importance of mutual respectInstilling the importance of mutual respect –“ Marrying your mom/dad was the best thing I ever did”

Characteristics: Want to be together 24 hrsWant to be together 24 hrs Make one another’s needs a priorityMake one another’s needs a priority Give one another’s time and attentionGive one another’s time and attention Show appreciationShow appreciation They laughThey laugh They PlayThey Play They support each otherThey support each other They show LOVE numerous time a dayThey show LOVE numerous time a day They believe they can overcome all obstacles.They believe they can overcome all obstacles.

Falling in Love ~~ with Romantic and passionate Love ~~ Infatuation Truly in Love ~~ Romantic Love that grow into Lifetime Love ~~ Marriage

is designed to meet the needs for intimacy and love … The need for Romantic Love that grow to be lifelong Love Everyone of us has the desire …to be intimate and …to be LOVED by another and …to be LOVED by another

More ….. I have known this girl who is my neighbour for over 3 years. We have a really good relationship, and we share a lot together. Should I tell her that I love her ?

More ….. I have received a letter from a boy I’ve met only a few times. He says that he cares for me a lot, and that he thinks about me every minute of the day. Do you think he really loves me ?

More ….. I can feel our love for each other growing deeper each day. Will having sex help our love grow even stronger ?

I think that sex will deepen our relationship. When we are together, I feel so wanted and loved! Don’t you think that sexual intercourse will confirm and prove our love for each other, and help us to have a great marriage in future ?

What are your concerns ?  My child is still very naïve, unable to make sensible decision  My child is not strong enough to overcome peer pressure  My child is not able to abstain from premarital sex  My child will be emotionally hurt from broken relationship  My child will not be able to focus on study

 unwanted pregnancy that leads to abortion  Addicted to unhealthy habits, eg. On-line relationships, internet sex, pornography etc.  Addicted to sexual activities  Leading to unhealthy and unstable relationships with opposite sex

“Last week, I have sex with my current boyfriend for the first time. This morning, I thought I felt some pain when I urinated. Could I have caught VD from him ?” “I am a 15 year old boy. I am worried because I feel attracted to the captain of my school Football Team. Am I a homosexual ?

Tips for Parents 1.Encourage your children to speak up and ask questions. 2.Start with more general topics or subjects using newspaper, books, TV shows, magazines etc. 3.Set the right tone and keep an open mind. 4.Be attentive in listening. 5.Be sensitive to and considerate towards your children’s feelings Parents’ roles in educating teens on LOVE and RELATIONSHIP ?

Tips for Parents 6.Do not be critical. 7.Do not use scare tactics. 8.Do not treat sexuality education as shameful. 9.Do not be defensive. If you do not know the answer, tell your children that you would try to find out from health provider e.g. doctor. Parents’ roles in educating teens on LOVE and RELATIONSHIP ?

10. Advise your teens on the consequences of casual sex. 11.Remind your teens not to risk themselves for unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases 12.Ask them to come to you or doctor for help and not elsewhere 13.Be a good role-model, expressing love to your spouse and strengthen family bonding Parents’ roles in educating teens on LOVE and RELATIONSHIP ?