The Christian Family: The Role of the Children So far in our study of the biblical/Christian Family we examined several facets: The Importance of Making God The Priority of our Families; Things We Can Do to Implement that Priority Choice in our Families; How those Priority Choices Affect our Families; Husbands/Fathers in the Christian Family; and Wives/Mothers in the Christian Family Now we’re ready for…

The Christian Family: The Role of The Children There are, it seems, a couple of things that should be said going in to this subject: 1.This lesson presupposes that the parents of the children are endeavoring to be godly husbands & wives first, and are also trying to be godly parents. 2.Surely we have discerned by now that children learn what they live; so that the example shown and requirements made through #1 are of paramount importance to this study. 3.This lesson is not intended as “See, I told you so” tool of manipulation for parents to use against their children. It is instead intended to: a.Help parents understand what they are to teach children; and b.Help children of sufficient age to comprehend the lesson to understand more fully their roles and responsibilities in the Christian Family.

The Christian Family: The Role of The Children I. So, what do children owe their godly parents? A.In a word, Obedience, Eph.6:1; Col.3:20 1.The Greek word for “obey” in these verses is hupakouo (from hupo, under + akouo, to hear), and therefore literally means to hear under, as one might listen under a door or window. It is used very interestingly and very informatively, for our purposes, in Acts 12:13 of Rhoda, who is described as a “servant girl.” This gives the idea of hearing under someone's authority. The literal rendering is “And having knocked Peter [at] the door of the porch, came a damsel to listen, by name Rhoda;”. Such tells us that obedience implies both subjection and obedience, Matt.8:27; Heb.11:8. 2.What does this mean relative to children? What are we as parents to teach them in regard to obedience? Quite frankly, it can be summed up in two key elements: (a) understanding and attentiveness, which implies subjection, cf. 1John 4:6; Eph.5:10 and (b) willingness to respond or comply without hesitation, cf. 1John 3: Listen and do as instructed.

The Christian Family: The Role of The Children I. So, what do children owe their godly parents? A.In a word, Obedience, Eph.6:1; Col.3:20 (cont.) 3.However, this submissive compliance is not without qualification, Eph.6:1b. The qualification is “in the Lord” which presents a problem: How does a young child know what is “in the Lord”? Herein lies the perfection of God's order. Until he is old enough to read, understand, and reason for himself from God's word, he must trust and obey his parents without question. The exception would be if they required something which even his own common sense tells him is in contradiction with basic morality (killing, stealing, lying, etc). 4.The purpose of this obedience is two-fold: firstly, “for this is right” implies that it is in accord with God's own sense of propriety and right conduct; it is fitting or proper. Secondarily, it is to the benefit of the child himself, v.3, “that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” Obedience to the Lord's command to “Honor your father and your mother” does not assure long life- accidental deaths and illness happen to children who obey their parents also. But generally speaking, children who learn to obey and honor their parents, will do well and prosper in life, and in God's estimation. Perhaps the command and results also refer back to Deut.21:18-21 in this connection.

The Christian Family: The Role of The Children I. So, what do children owe their godly parents? (cont.) B.They also owe their parents Honor, Eph.6:2; 1.What does this mean and in what sense is it owed? The word “honor” simply means “to estimate, to value at a price; to reverence,” (see both Matt.27:9; Mark 7:6,10 as negative and positive examples; also Prov.20:20). Honor then implies someone or something that is greatly valued and highly esteemed- someone whose value to you is above monetary consideration.

The Christian Family: The Role of The Children I. So, what do children owe their godly parents? (cont.) B.They also owe their parents Honor, Eph.6:2; 2.But is this all that is meant by the usage of “honor” in 1Tim.5:3ff? Apparently not, cf. vv.9-16! Please see Matt.15:1-6 in this connection. It was seemingly common practice during this time that one who had older parents, who were perhaps in need of material care and sustenance, could free himself from that obligation by vowing that portion of his income as “Corban” (see Mark 7:11-13). Apparently then, he was free to spend the money on himself, or any other pursuit other than his father and mother. Thus the vow was made to supersede both the commandment of God and natural affection. What a perversion of justice! The point of all this is: “Honor father and mother” means much more than an occasional “Yes Sir” or “No Ma'am”!

The Christian Family: The Role of The Children I. So, what do children owe their godly parents? (cont.) C.Children also owe their parents trust and deference to their wisdom, Prov.23: Why do parents put so much emphasis on obedience and honor? Aside from the divine directives in those regards, parents (good ones at least) want the best for their children, Heb.12:9-11. There are several crucial times in a child's maturation when “Why?” may not be answerable to his own satisfaction. It is in these times especially that he must (be taught to) trust the wisdom of those who have lived much longer, seen much more, and experienced so much more of life than has he, Prov.13:1; 19:26; 20:20; 23:22; 30:17. He must defer to their wisdom and give heed to their commands not only because of who they are, but because as well of who he is- their child/offspring.

The Christian Family: The Role of The Children II. So in conclusion, what do children owe their godly parents? A.Obedience, Eph.6:1; Col.3:20 B.Respect /Honor, Eph.6:2-3 C.Trust and Deference to their position and wisdom, Prov.23: D.This may not be a complete list- but these things properly applied will give rise to not only proud parents, but also fine young men and women, and a pleased heavenly Father!