To learn how to redraft our formal letters. To write a a 60 second news bulletin for a fictional disaster.

Formal letters We are now going to redraft the letters that we constructed last session. But first, we must create a whole - class redrafting checklist…

Formal language  No contracted words (can’t - can not)  No abbreviations (fridge - refrigerator T.V - television)  Standard English (where’s that to? - where is that?)  No colloquial/slang (it’s out of order! - That is not fair!)  No contracted words (can’t - can not)  No abbreviations (fridge - refrigerator T.V - television)  Standard English (where’s that to? - where is that?)  No colloquial/slang (it’s out of order! - That is not fair!)

DA FOREST D = Direct language A = Alliteration/Anecdote F = Facts O = Opinions R = Repetition/ Rhetorical Question E = Emotive language S = Statistics T = The Rule of Three Purpose – why? Audience – who? language style? Layout – form?

Using connectives when writing to persuade… EXPLAINING IDEAS namely such as as already stated for example in other words PUTTING IDEAS IN ORDER firstly further most importantly secondly finally lastly ADDING TO IDEAS in addition also likewise moreover furthermore similarly CONCLUSION therefore all this evidence points to in conclusion finally all in all

Whole class guided writing We have been asked to put together a short message (paragraph of thanks) to put in the next SDCC newsletter, thanking the students for supporting our mufti day and encouraging them to participate in our forthcoming ‘Disaster Day.’

60 Second News Report

You are journalists… You have one hour before the news is going to be broadcast and you need to inform the nation about a natural disaster that has just hit Britain. You must work in pairs to prepare a 60 second script to be read aloud on the 6 O’clock News You have one hour before the news is going to be broadcast and you need to inform the nation about a natural disaster that has just hit Britain. You must work in pairs to prepare a 60 second script to be read aloud on the 6 O’clock News

News update … The Green Warriors, environmental crusaders, have stormed the Houses of Parliament and attacked many members of parliament, throwing vegetables and eggs at them... They are also threatening to blow up any businesses who do not recycle all their paper … the whole city of London has come to a complete standstill.... the business community is in uproar... the Police are attempting to control the situation through persuasion... The Green Warriors claim they will not budge until their demands for a more environmentally friendly world are met... They are demanding to meet with the world's top scientists to discuss ways forward..

NEWS UPDATE... No-Roadies, environmental crusaders... have formed a protest outside Oldbury... They are living in trees and tunnels to stop the work going ahead…They have attacked many of the builders of the new road with their bare hands and feet... the whole neighbouring area of Berkshire has come to a standstill because of the demonstration... lorries with vital supplies for the local hospital are not able to get through... the Police are concerned for Public Safety and are preparing to disperse the protestors... The No-Roadies hold banners which proclaim "No more new Roads in Oldbury"... They demand that the proposed new road is banned because of more pollution and traffic to local house- holders Top scientists have been called in to see if they can solve the problem...

You will need to consider…  1) the formality of language choices,  2) selection of content, (5 W’s + H)  3) length of items,  4) attitude to listeners & assumed prior knowledge. Remember how to create a quick plan! E.g Mind map your ideas and number them to create a cohesive structure.  1) the formality of language choices,  2) selection of content, (5 W’s + H)  3) length of items,  4) attitude to listeners & assumed prior knowledge. Remember how to create a quick plan! E.g Mind map your ideas and number them to create a cohesive structure.

Plenary Let’s record our news scripts and consider how convincing they are.