Conversation Skills: When I Disagree. Definitions WordDefinition compromise the settlement of a dispute with a solution that benefits both parties criticism.

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Presentation transcript:

Conversation Skills: When I Disagree

Definitions WordDefinition compromise the settlement of a dispute with a solution that benefits both parties criticism an opinion that points out someone’s faults respect consideration or thoughtfulness toward another person constructive criticism pointing out a mistake in a manner that is carefully considered and meant to be helpful

When I Disagree  Calm down before speaking  Find something to agree with in what the other person is saying  “Sure, but…” or “OK, but…”  Tell why I feel differently Adapted from Navigating the Social World by Jeanette MacAfee

When I Disagree…  Listen to the other person  Continue to respond in positive ways  Don’t go on too long  Treat others with respect

Treat Others With Respect  Consider the feelings of others  Use positive messages (I statements)  Avoid: –Name calling –Emotional statements (like “that’s stupid!”) –Accusations –“You always___” or “You never____”

Agree or Disagree?  Jazz is the most interesting kind of music.

Agree or Disagree?  Pepperoni pizza is the best.

Agree or Disagree?  Dogs are smarter than cats.

Agree or Disagree  The most important subject in school is math.

Agree or Disagree  Non-fiction is more interesting than fiction.

How can I feel better when I disagree with someone? 1. AGREE TO DISAGREE!

AGREE to DISAGREE Well, if that’s what you think…? I guess we just think differently. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. You do it your way and I’ll do it my way.

How can I feel better when I disagree with someone? 1. AGREE TO DISAGREE! 2. Search for a Win-Win solution

Search for Win Win Solutions  Win Lose – “I win and you’re a loser”  Lose Win – “Whatever you want”  Lose Lose – “We’re both going down”  Win Win – both nice and tough at the same time: “I won’t step on you, but I won’t be your doormat either”  Cartoon

From 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey

Win Win = Compromise the settlement of a dispute with a solution that benefits both parties

Criticism  Constructive?  Hurtful? an opinion that points out someone’s faults or mistakes

“That’s absolutely ridiculous. That will never work!” “I’m not sure if it will work that way, maybe you could try this”

“Oh man, you’re so gross, you spilled sauce on your shirt.” “There’s some sauce on your shirt. When that happened to me I wore my jacket the rest of the day.”

Give Suggestions – Constructive Criticism

Accepting “Criticism”  Stay calm  Decide if it is constructive or hurtful Constructive? “OK, I’ll think about it” Hurtful? Treat it like teasing – ignore!

Let it Go!

So, what do you think? Sure ya can, Bill! “So, what do you think? Can you disagree with someone and still be friends?”

When I disagree with someone I will…  Discuss it calmly  Agree to Disagree  Search for a Win-Win Solution  Remember constructive criticism is meant to be helpful “Social Power” Point