Guiding the Dynamic Mediation Process With Metaphors Thomas Smith Asociace Mediatorů České Republiky Prague Part 1: Metaphor

Overall Outline Metaphoric Framing in Mediation. Mediation as Management of a Complex, Adaptive Relationship System. The Metaphoric Frames That Work Well for Simpler Conflicts. Metaphoric Frames More Suited to Complex Conflicts.

Very often mediators act as though… Conflict resolution can be done in a series of pre- defined steps. The conflict can be broken down into its separate parts. Each part can be re-shaped, moved into place. Then the whole can be fit back together into an agreement. Not always true that we can assemble the pieces so easily and move disputants out of conflict, towards a suitable agreement. Events occur, grievances emerge, emotions erupt… But first let us examine simple metaphoric frames.

Divorce Case case J He says we are going on different paths. He says we had thought we were going the same way, but we aren’t – we are really headed for different places. She says, nobody pushed you into marriage and having children. Because we both love the children, we could be open-minded and find a way to stay together. 4

Marriage is a Journey – obvious metaphor frame -? If detected, the mediator can join it, reflect it back, reframe it, expand on it, co-develop it with clients. 5

Two-Person Exercise Examine Metaphor Frame Case J: Turn to person next to you.. Do you find the Journey metaphor? Do you find other metaphors? Are ‘other’ metaphors related? Discuss.

Usefulness of metaphor: Detecting metaphor requires very careful listening. Hear the themes in disputants' own language and thought. Develop rapport through awareness, sensitivity, reflecting back, asking questions... By sustaining a metaphor you sustain familiar cognitive structure. Uncover more dimensions of what is being thought. Use the metaphor frame to unify and synthesize. Describe alternatives and options in coherent terms. 7

Disputants Use Metaphors to Describe and Explain What Has Happened, What They See, What They Want Anatomy of Metaphor – Source and Target Domains How to Identify Metaphors Some practice…

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push

Different paths

Now, identify metaphoric words: He says they were going on different paths.

They were really headed for different places.

They could find a way to stay together. 14

push again

Two-Person Exercise ‘experience’ the Source Domain Pair with person nearby. "I feel I'm being pushed into something." Try to think of 3, 4, or 5 distinctly different ways that a person might literally, physically be "pushed". Then apply these source domain ideas to the target domain situation of a negotiation where someone "feels pushed into something.“ What questions might you ask?

inference patterns

Sensitizing Yourself to Metaphor Frames What are the most common metaphors you will find in mediation? Will it be helpful to become more familiar with these metaphors?

Most Widely Used Metaphors in conflict resolution & negotiation 19 Journey Game/Sport War/Struggle Material Object/Substance Building Construction Personification/Animation

Helps to know what a metaphor includes… Hearing and Responding to a Metaphor in Dialog: Helps to know what a metaphor includes… O.K., I think that we’re making progress already… …if we can just go back for a minute to… You said you were going to re-evaluate your position in light of the discussion. But we can probably find some middle ground that will provide us the assurance… I want to just pursue that a little bit further… Yes, that is where we fundamentally disagree. …there’s really just a little bit of distance between us at this point and it comes right back down to my expectations. …here’s the alternative, we’d like to go with this alternative.

Can you see how previous examples illustrate major groups of entailments?

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Metaphors, like the ones considered so far, work well for simple conflicts or somewhat complicated conflicts.

When disputants come together we may expect that they will - Be reasonable and talk sensibly. But more likely they will... Avoid their conflict, or Begin to fight or argue about their conflict.

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