Karen Horney Pronounced: “hornye”

Background One of the most important female and overall psychoanalytic thinkers of our time Began with a Freudian mindset but parted ways with him due to: Views of women Role of sexuality His focus on the past vs. present

Summary of Horney’s Theory “Individuals cope with anxiety produced by frustration of psychological needs. They cope by disowning their real feelings and develop elaborate strategies of defense” (Paris).

The Real Self The Real Self: what we would have been had we developed in a proper environment (with acceptance and encouragement) Horney believed that striving for the Real Self is the purpose in life (correlated to Maslow’s self-actualization) As a child grows he or she may feel unwanted or not appreciated for his/her own sake, rather only if the child lives up to expectations Child comes to believe that the real self does not matter; what matters are the expectations of others.

The Real Self (cont.) To cope with this, the child develops defensive strategies to hide or defend the real self. Feelings and behaviors are no longer expressions of the Real Self, but are dictated by defensive strategies. This protects the child from pain, but leads to inner conflict and self-alienation

Real Self Real Self Defensive strategies

Self-Alienated Defense Maneuvers “Extrapsychic” (in relations with others) Compliant Moves toward people; gives up space. Qualities: Self-effacing, needy, helpless, seeks dependence on others, tries to win others over, willing to sacrifice self to do it, rather weak Clings to others, demanding love & affection they can’t return

Have you met this person? When Jane first meets people she comes across as friendly & warm. She’s always doing things for others, quick to pass along a compliment. But soon her attention turns into demands. She can’t stand to be alone, can’t accept the idea that partners or friends would want to do anything without her. Her relationships never work out, yet she falls in love almost as soon as she meets the next man.

Self-Alienated Defense Maneuvers “Extrapsychic” (in relations with others) Aggressive Moves against people; takes up space. Arrogant/Vindictive: bitter, vengeful, uses others, envious, aggressive Narcissistic: self-absorbed & self-congratulatory, view others as beneath him/her Perfectionistic: Over-achieving, competitive, have to be the best, do the best, appear the best

Have you met this person? Jack is disliked by almost everyone he meets. Few people escape his sarcastic, biting comments. He seems to hold everyone he encounters with contempt. He is successful in his field of business, but has done so by stepping on others to get what he wants. He’s such a narcissist that everything has to be about him or he’s unhappy and miserable.

Self-Alienated Defense Maneuvers “Extrapsychic” (in relations with others) Detached Qualities: Moves away from people; isolation, resigned, withdrawn from feelings/relationships, fears others will let him/her down or will let others down, doesn’t expect anything Thinks, “this is just the way things are,” “nothing matters” Ask for nothing from others & you won’t be bothered, expect little so there’s no disappointment

Have you met this person? Jen works as an accountant, quietly tabulating figures in her office. She rarely socializes with other people who work for the same firm, so now most of them have stopped asking her to join them. She has few friends and spends most of her evenings by herself with her cat.

Four Selves “Intrapsychic” (internal struggles) Real Self – Possible Actual Self – everything a person is at a given time (healthy AND unhealthy traits) Idealized Self – Impossible* Despised Self – the part of your self you hate

If You Are Self-Actualizing/Realizing The real self and actual self are merging; the idealized self and despised self are dying

If You Are Self-Alienating The real self and actual self are moving apart; the idealized self takes control and empowers the despised self Can spiral and lead to a distortion of reality Possible outcomes: hypersensitivity to criticism, emotional deadness, exhaustion, depression