NURTURING SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF GIFTED CHILDREN Presented by David Lammers, M.Ed.

 In many ways, the social emotional needs of gifted and highly capable children are the same as those of typically developing children who are in the mainstream classes…but in many ways, they are different!

Strengths Associated with Highly Capable Children  Acquire and retain information quickly  Inquisitive  Intrinsically motivated  Enjoys problem solving and abstract thinking  Looks for cause and effect relationships  Large vocabulary; good expressive language  High expectations of self and others  Creative; inventive  Independent  Diverse interests

POSSIBLE Concerns Associated with Highly Capable Children 1. Inpatient with others 2. Strong willed 3. May resist routine practice 4. May not be interested or enjoy unclear/illogical areas (e.g. feelings) 5. May create complicated rules and appear bossy 6. May use words to manipulate

POSSIBLE Concerns Associated with Highly Capable Children 7. May neglect duties or people during periods when focused on a task or project therefore may also resist interruption and appear stubborn 8. May appear disorganized or scattered 9. May have trouble with conforming 10. May have struggles with SOCIAL THINKING 11. Perfectionistic of self and others: may have “worried child” behaviors.

Key Definitions Associated with Worry: 1. Fear: an instinctive reaction to a clear and real danger or threat. 2. Anxiety: a state of worry about a danger or threat that MIGHT occur. 3. Fright: a state of fear when danger or threat happens without warning. 4. Stress: ANY situation (positive or negative) that requires adjustment or change.

 Can be helpful… in healthy amounts. Prep for athletic events = focus Stress of a deadline = can help motivate Anxiety

Traits sometimes associated with “anxiety personality profile” include:  Strong sense of responsibility  High standards of achievement  Difficulty relaxing  Oversensitive to criticism or rejection  Tendency to worry

How do we respond?  Our autonomic nervous system kicks in and we (kids and grownups) display Fight, Flight or Freeze responses.

Solutions for Anxiety:  Reduce stressors  Learn how to take breaks that include exercise  Cognitive Restructuring: Change thinking and adjust attitude  Rename Worries  Progressive relaxation  Goal setting and time management

MINDSET  “It is the belief that intelligence can be developed that opens students to a love of learning, a belief in the power of effort and constructive, determined reactions to setbacks.” ~Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

Fixed Mind-SetGrowth Mind-Set I need to look smart! “I’m stuck with this amount of smarts!” I want to learn! “I can GROW my intelligence!” Based on graphic by Nigel Holmes, Mindset Works, Inc.

MINDSET “You must be smart at this!” vs. “You must have worked really hard!” The children praised for their INTELLIGENCE: Opted for easier tasks, where they could avoid mistakes Confidence went down as soon as things got more difficult Were much more likely to lie about their scores The children praised for their EFFORT: Wanted the task they could learn from Maintained their confidence (which lead to HIGHER SCORES) Didn’t care as much about their scores

Contact Info: David Lammers School Counselor Pinewood Elementary

Suggested Readings  Chansky, T. E. (2004). Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, practical solutions to overcome your child's fears, worries, and phobias. New York, NY: Random House.  Delisle, J. R. (2002). Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for raising happy and successful children. Waco, TX: Prufrock Press Inc.  Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York, NY: Random House.