Parenting Impact on Alcohol/Drug Use and Abuse Chapter 6 Parenting Impact on Alcohol/Drug Use and Abuse

Chapter Objectives Explain the role parent-child bonding plays in preventing problem behaviors and future alcohol/drug problems. Define the diagnostic criteria of abandonment depression. Describe the child temperaments that may contribute or make the child at-risk for substance abuse. Explain “quality” of parent-child relationship and its impact on substance use and abuse.

Chapter Objectives Define shame and describe the domains of shame and the common affect-shame binds. Describe rejection sensitivity, difficulty making decisions, and poor frustration tolerance. Classify behaviors that indicate parental imbalance. Define and describe boundaries and boundary inadequacy.

Chapter Objectives Describe triangulation in the family. Describe the impact of parental use or abuse of alcohol/drugs on the child’s future use or abuse. Describe the imbalanced life cycles of families.

Parent-Child Bonding Abandonment Depression An affective disorder with six key elements: Homicidal rage Suicidal depression Panic Feelings of hopelessness/helplessness Emptiness and void Guilt Impact of early abandonment on adult interpersonal relationships

Parent-Child Bonding Child’s Temperament Evidence that extremes in certain temperament traits, such as high activity level, emotionality, attention span, and sociability are associated with children of alcoholics. Aspects of temperament may predict the behavior problems and substance abuse problems that frequently arise during adolescence.

Parenting Styles That Shame Children The self looking at itself, and finding it lacking, flawed, inadequate. Is like a flash flood of emotion that wipes out the interpersonal connection with people Differences between a shame-based system and balanced system Shame-based No hope, inescapable, and exterior-based Balanced system Hope-choice, can make amends, internally based

Parents’ Shame Parents who have not done a good job of parenting may experience shame.

Shame and Feelings Shame is a very powerful feeling, and when it is attached to other feelings, they are escalated: Anger plus shame equals rage Adolescent sexual identity and shame Sexual violation and shame Drug, sex, and shame

Characteristics of Shame and Abandonment Rejection sensitivity Fear and difficulty making decisions Poor frustration tolerance Other reactions and defenses Overly defensive Extremely critical or judgemental Rage or distorted thinking Masking true feelings and emotions

Parental Imbalance and Boundary Setting Clear boundaries Allow mutual respect and concern Enmeshed boundaries Are inflexible, are unyielding, and leave no room for differences Disengaged boundaries Are overly rigid, with little or no opportunity for communication

Boundary Inadequacy Ambiguous boundary inadequacy A pattern of double messages Overly rigid boundary inadequacy Smooth and efficient functioning is a priority over being responsive and adaptable Invasive boundary inadequacy An imbalance of power is used to objectify people

Boundary Ambiguity Stage 1 – Clustering Stage 2 – Conflict Stage 3 – Individuation Stage 4 - Connection

Triangulation Triangulation is at least two adults involved in an off-spring’s problem, where the parent-child dyad is pitted against a more peripheral parent, stepparent, grandparent, parent’s lover, or another relative.

Triangulation

Imbalanced Life Cycles of Families Relationships between families and the joining of families Family and the young child Family and the adolescent Launching of children Later life

Fathers of Alcoholics/Addicts Dealing with resistance Reassure the father that he is important Point out that changes depend on his action Make the father aware that he has the power to sabotage treatment Note that the father has choices Place responsibility for change squarely on father’s shoulders Get the father to consider realigning his priorities