T he W ellspring of J oy Sue Bohlin

“Whoever believes in Me...streams of living water will flow from within him.” John 8:38

Shame  Guilt: I did something bad  Shame: I am something bad  There’s something wrong with me

Shame  Healthy shame  1. Modesty  2. Awareness of not measuring up to our true self  Unhealthy, undeserved shame: believing the lies that deny what God says is true

Sources of Shame  Parents  Peers  Self  Society

The Message of Shame “I am defective and I am afraid I will be rejected and abandoned.” “I am defective and I am afraid I will be rejected and abandoned.”

Healing from Shame  Fear: I am unacceptable  Antidote: God says I am accepted!

Shame? Grace! The healing for shame The healing for shame is to experience grace is to experience grace by making a choice by making a choice to receive God’s acceptance to receive God’s acceptance as His gift. as His gift.  I am accepted in the Beloved (Eph. 1:6)  The Father has accepted me (Rom. 14:3)  Christ has accepted me (Rom. 15:7)

Shame “We are accepted wholesale. Accepted with no possibility of being rejected. Accepted once and accepted forever. Accepted at the ultimate depth of our being. We are given what we have longed for in every nook and nuance of every relationship.” --Louis Smedes “We are accepted wholesale. Accepted with no possibility of being rejected. Accepted once and accepted forever. Accepted at the ultimate depth of our being. We are given what we have longed for in every nook and nuance of every relationship.” --Louis Smedes

Self-Pity

Self-Pity

Self-Pity  Not a primary feeling (sadness, grief, loss)  One response to legitimate negative feelings: “Poor me!”  Another response: trust God  Body odor  Grief and sadness are not sinful

Self-Pity  Sadness | Self-pity  Sadness: “Life in a fallen world hurts.”  Self-pity: “I don’t deserve this.”  Antidote to self-pity:  I deserve nothing but hell  Life in a fallen world hurts; this is my share  Bad things happen, good things happen  God is still good  I will trust Him

Unforgiveness  Has anyone ever hurt you?  An arrow was lodged in your heart.  Arrows generate lies  Arrows generate pain

What forgiveness feels like

Forgiveness  Forgiving: letting go of my right to see you suffer for what you did to me.  Removing your hands from the other person’s throat

Unforgiveness  Forgive: to let go and send away  Acknowledging the offense and then transferring the offender over to God in our hearts  Deliberately choosing not to hold the offense against the offender and not to bring it up again  Unforgiveness: refusing to let go of an offense Christ has already paid for  “Hot potato”

Letting Go

Misunderstandings about Forgiveness  “Forgive and Forget”  Forgiving is not trust  Forgiving is not reconciliation  Forgiving does not mean what they did was OK.  Forgiving doesn’t mean the offender gets away with it.

What Forgiveness Means  Forgiveness means acknowledging the offense and then transferring the offender over to God in our hearts.  Forgiving someone means we deliberately choose to not to hold his offense against him and not to bring it up again.

Steps to Forgiveness 1.Acknowledge the offense 2. Turn the person over to God to repay them

Obstacles to the Wellspring of Joy  Shame: Receive God’s gift of acceptance  Self-pity: Repent of your selfishness and choose to trust God in your pain  Unforgiveness: Take them off your hook and put them on Jesus’ hook

The Jesus Jail