Reverence and Temperance: Ancient Foundations of the Modern Workplace Space Telescope Institute 3/28/07 Richard R. Kilburg, Ph.D.

Reverence and Temperance Virtue – “The power or operative influence inherent in a supernatural or divine being.” Virtue – “The power or operative influence inherent in a supernatural or divine being.” “A particular moral excellence.” “A particular moral excellence.” “…certain moral qualities regarded as of special excellence or importance” – temperance, justice, courage, wisdom, faith, hope, and charity. “…certain moral qualities regarded as of special excellence or importance” – temperance, justice, courage, wisdom, faith, hope, and charity. Oxford English Dictionary Oxford English Dictionary

Reverence and Temperance Virtue – “Sources of good behavior.” Virtue – “Sources of good behavior.” “A good person is one who feels like doing what is right.” “A good person is one who feels like doing what is right.” “Virtues are about emotions…you can’t learn about emotions in books….Emotions are the work of a lifetime.” “Virtues are about emotions…you can’t learn about emotions in books….Emotions are the work of a lifetime.” Paul Woodruff 2001 Paul Woodruff 2001

Reverence and Temperance “Virtues are habits of feeling, and those are much harder to learn or to forget.” “Virtues are habits of feeling, and those are much harder to learn or to forget.” “Virtues grow in us from being used…they are our strengths.” “Virtues grow in us from being used…they are our strengths.” “Communities depend on the strengths of their members.” “Communities depend on the strengths of their members.” Paul Woodruff 2001 Paul Woodruff 2001

Reverence and Temperance Reverence – “Deep or due respect felt or shown towards a person on account of his or her position or relationship…. Reverence – “Deep or due respect felt or shown towards a person on account of his or her position or relationship…. Deep respect and veneration for some thing, place, or person regarded as having a sacred or exalted character….gestures of respect or veneration.” Oxford English Dictionary (1991)

Reverence and Temperance “Reverence is the well developed capacity to have feelings of awe, respect, and shame when these are the right feelings to have.” “Reverence is the well developed capacity to have feelings of awe, respect, and shame when these are the right feelings to have.” “Reverence begins in a deep understanding of human limitations;, from this grows the capacity to be in awe of whatever we believe lies outside of our control.” “Reverence begins in a deep understanding of human limitations;, from this grows the capacity to be in awe of whatever we believe lies outside of our control.” Paul Woodruff 2001 Paul Woodruff 2001

Reverence and Temperance

When the human soul is irreverent, it is arrogant and shameless. It is unable to feel awe in the face of things higher than itself. When the human soul is irreverent, it is arrogant and shameless. It is unable to feel awe in the face of things higher than itself. Irreverent souls are unable to feel respect for people it sees as lower than themselves – ordinary people, prisoners, the poor, the homeless, subordinates, children. Irreverent souls are unable to feel respect for people it sees as lower than themselves – ordinary people, prisoners, the poor, the homeless, subordinates, children.

Reverence and Temperance “To teach reverence you must find the seeds of reverence in each person and help them grow.” “To teach reverence you must find the seeds of reverence in each person and help them grow.” Awaken Awe Awaken Awe Practice Respect Practice Respect Encourage Appropriate Shame Encourage Appropriate Shame Paul Woodruff 2001 Paul Woodruff 2001

Reverence and Temperance How to be Reverent How to be Reverent Always point to Questions Always point to Questions When to feel awe, respect, and shame? When to feel awe, respect, and shame? Why should you feel awe, respect, and shame? Why should you feel awe, respect, and shame? Who should feel awe, respect, and shame? Who should feel awe, respect, and shame? Where should you feel awe, respect, and shame? Where should you feel awe, respect, and shame? How should you feel awe, respect, and shame? How should you feel awe, respect, and shame?

Reverence and Temperance “If you desire peace in the world, do not pray that everyone share your beliefs. Pray instead that all may be reverent.” “If you desire peace in the world, do not pray that everyone share your beliefs. Pray instead that all may be reverent.” Paul Woodruff 2001 Paul Woodruff 2001 If you desire dignity, respect, and civility in your workplace, practice reverence throughout your day and encourage others to do so as well. If you desire dignity, respect, and civility in your workplace, practice reverence throughout your day and encourage others to do so as well.

Reverence and Temperance Temperance – “ The practice or habit of restraining oneself in provocation, desire, passion, etc….rational self-restraint (One of the Cardinal Virtues)….Self-restraint and moderation in action of any kind…especially self-control, restraint, or forbearance when provoked to anger or impatience.” Temperance – “ The practice or habit of restraining oneself in provocation, desire, passion, etc….rational self-restraint (One of the Cardinal Virtues)….Self-restraint and moderation in action of any kind…especially self-control, restraint, or forbearance when provoked to anger or impatience.” Oxford English Dictionary 1991 Oxford English Dictionary 1991

Reverence and Temperance Temperance – the positive traits that protect us against excess Temperance – the positive traits that protect us against excess The strengths of temperance restrain, guide, and help express aspects of ourselves The strengths of temperance restrain, guide, and help express aspects of ourselves

Reverence and Temperance Peterson and Seligman (2002) Forgiveness and Mercy Forgiveness and Mercy Humility Humility Prudence Prudence Self- Regulation Self- Regulation Hatred Hatred Arrogance Arrogance Pursuit of short term pleasure while ignoring long term costs Pursuit of short term pleasure while ignoring long term costs Destabilizing emotional extremes Destabilizing emotional extremes

Reverence and Temperance Emotional Intelligence – The 21 st Century search for a good theory and effective practices of temperance. Emotional Intelligence – The 21 st Century search for a good theory and effective practices of temperance. “The capacity to reason about emotions, and of emotions to enhance thinking.” “The capacity to reason about emotions, and of emotions to enhance thinking.” Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso, 2004 Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso, 2004

Reverence and Temperance Emotional Intelligence includes the abilities to: 1. Accurately perceive emotions 2. Access and generate emotions to assist in thoughts 3. Understand emotions and emotional knowledge 4. Reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth. Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso, 2004

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) Personal Competencies – Determine how we manage ourselves Personal Competencies – Determine how we manage ourselves 1. Self-Awareness Emotional Self-Awareness – reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact; using “gut sense” to guide decisions Emotional Self-Awareness – reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact; using “gut sense” to guide decisions

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) Accurate self-assessment – knowing one’s strengths and limits Accurate self-assessment – knowing one’s strengths and limits Self-confidence – having a sound sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities Self-confidence – having a sound sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) 2. Self- Management Emotional self-control – keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control Emotional self-control – keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control Transparency – displaying honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness Transparency – displaying honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness Adaptability –Demonstrating flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles Adaptability –Demonstrating flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) Achievement – having the drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence Achievement – having the drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence Initiative – being ready to act and seize opportunities Initiative – being ready to act and seize opportunities Optimism – seeing the upside in events and situations Optimism – seeing the upside in events and situations

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) Social Competencies – Determine how we manage relationships Social Competencies – Determine how we manage relationships 1. Social Awareness Empathy – sensing others emotions, understanding their perspectives, and taking active interest in their concerns Empathy – sensing others emotions, understanding their perspectives, and taking active interest in their concerns

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) Organizational awareness – reading the currents, decision networks, and politics at the organizational level Organizational awareness – reading the currents, decision networks, and politics at the organizational level Service – recognizing and meeting follower, client, or customer needs Service – recognizing and meeting follower, client, or customer needs

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) 2.Relationship Management Inspirational leadership – guiding and motivating with a compelling vision Inspirational leadership – guiding and motivating with a compelling vision Influence – using a range of tactics for persuasion Influence – using a range of tactics for persuasion Developing others – bolstering others’ abilities through feedback, training, education, guidance, and experience Developing others – bolstering others’ abilities through feedback, training, education, guidance, and experience

Domains and Competencies of Emotional Intelligence (Boyatzis and McKee, 2005) Change catalyst – initiating, managing, and leading in a new direction Change catalyst – initiating, managing, and leading in a new direction Conflict management – resolving disagreements Conflict management – resolving disagreements Building bonds – cultivating and maintaining a web of relationships Building bonds – cultivating and maintaining a web of relationships Teamwork and collaboration – fostering cooperation and team building Teamwork and collaboration – fostering cooperation and team building

Lazarus’ Classification of Emotions Goal Congruent/Relevant and Goal Incongruent Positive Emotions Positive Emotions 1. Happiness/Joy 2. Pride 3. Love/Affection 4. Relief 5. Curiosity 6. Sexual Arousal Borderline Emotions Borderline Emotions 1. Hope 2. Compassion – empathy/sympathy 3. Aesthetic Emotions 4. Elation/Gladness Negative Emotions Negative Emotions 1. Anger 2. Fear/Anxiety 3. Shame/Guilt 4. Sadness 5. Envy/Jealousy 6. Disgust 7. Contempt

Reverence and Temperance An Exercise in Emotional Intelligence An Exercise in Emotional Intelligence Take a moment and reflect back on the past few days. Think of an event, situation, or interpersonal exchange in which you either expressed your emotions or restrained yourself. Take a moment and reflect back on the past few days. Think of an event, situation, or interpersonal exchange in which you either expressed your emotions or restrained yourself. In retrospect, what was your goal in that moment? In retrospect, what was your goal in that moment? Did your strategy of expression or restraint accomplish your goal? Did your strategy of expression or restraint accomplish your goal? Would you do anything differently now that you are reflecting about it? Would you do anything differently now that you are reflecting about it?