Addictions and the Child of God Part II Pornography 1

Addictions and the Child of God: Part II, Pornography Scripture Pornography Indicators Data – Men – Women – Children Shame vs. Guilt Impact on the Church Helping others – Understanding the Problem – Repentance and Hope – Encouragement Partners – “Breaking the Cycle” (Paul Mavrogeorge) – The Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary Restoration Process Look For -- WELS Connect - WELS Social Media Task Force Website. 2

Scripture Regarding Pornography Matthew 5: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Ephesians 5:3-4 3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 3

Pornography Indicators Alone with a computer – up at odd hours using computer Quick switching the computer off. Shame or fear Don’t mess with my computer! Sharing porn sites with others Impaired social relationships Strange view of the opposite sex – Objectification of the opposite sex – Gender respect problems – Relationship commitment problems Staring, stalking Tired Needs more and more stimulation to get the same high Acting out fantasies Almost none of the above. The secret sin – the hidden addiction 4

Internet Abuse -- Pornography  Porn addiction is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome. Millions of people around the world struggle with overcoming this powerful vice once they acknowledge they have a problem. Its been compared to cocaine addiction because of similar neuro-chemical activity in the brain.  Some people struggle with a masturbation addiction as well as porn addiction. Masturbating and reaching climax only strengthens your addiction to porn. If you struggle with only masturbation addiction then you still have a chemical dependency on the brain’s neuro-chemicals. You brain does not see the difference between healthy sex with your spouse and releasing the chemicals by yourself. So you become addicted to the easiest way to release the chemicals which is alone and doing the act. 5

The Role of Shame Guilt » Similarities, Differences? Shame “Stinking Thinking” – If you really knew me, you would not love me.” – I do not deserve…. – I am helpless and hopeless. – I am the only one who can help myself. – No one else knows, cares, loves, or understands. – Tension: Release and Reward 6

Pornography Industry Statistics Data From: Covenanteyes.com, 3xchurch, Leadership Magazine, through Paul Mavrogeorge. Size of the Industry $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US Pornographic Website's 4.2 million (12% of total website's) Pornographic Pages 372 million Daily Pornographic Search Engine Requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests) Daily Pornographic s 2.5 billion (8% of total s) Avg. Daily Pornographic s/User 4.5 per internet user Monthly Pornographic downloads (Peer-to-peer) 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads) Daily Gnutella "child pornography" requests 116 thousand Website's offering illegal child pornography 100 thousand 7

Adult Internet Porn Statistics Men admitting to accessing porn at work 20% US adults who regularly visit internet porn sites 40 million Promise Keepers men who viewed porn in the last week 53% Christians who say porn is a major problem in the home 47% Adults admitting to internet sexual addiction 10% Breakdown of male/female visitors to porn sites 72% male - 28% female 8

Women & Pornography 13% of Women admit to accessing porn at work. 70% of women keep their cyber activities secret. 17% of all women struggle with pornography addiction. Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs. Women favor chat rooms 2X's more than men. 1 out of 3 visitors to adult website's are women. 9.4 million women access adult website's each month. 9

Children's Exposure to Pornography Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography 11 years old Largest Consumer of Internet Pornography age group year olds having multiple hardcore exposures 80% 8-16 year olds having viewed porn online 90% (most while doing homework) 7-17 year olds who would freely give out home address 29% 7-17 year olds who would freely give out addresses 14% Children's characters linked to thousands of porn links 26 (including Pokeman and Action Man 10

IMPACT ON YOUTH In most cases, the sex sites were accessed unintentionally when a child, often in the process of doing homework This is the next big wave of difficulties with addictive and sexual issues 11

Common Outcomes Shame Impact on Sexual Development Enhance Other Addictions Marital Dysfunction 12

IMPACT ON THE CHURCH 13

Christian Population 51% of pastors say porn is a possible temptation 37% say it is a current struggle 4 in 10 pastors have visited a porn site 14

Pastor’s are at risk Large amount of time in isolation A lot of unsupervised time High amounts of pressure and stress Ministry is a great place to hide addictive tendencies 15

Pastors at Risk  In 2002, of 1,351 pastors surveyed, 54% said they had viewed Internet pornography within the last year, and 30% of these had visited within the last 30 days. Pastors.com Survey. Qtd. in “Wounded Clergy.” Hope & Freedom Counseling Services, Media A-Team, Inc., March Web. 7 Dec

Pastors and Pornography  In August 2000, Christianity Today conducted an exclusive survey of its readership—both laity and clergy—on the issue of Internet pornography:  In August 1999, 11% of the calls received on Focus on the Family's Pastoral Care Line were about pastors and online porn. In August 2000, online porn worries prompted 20% of the calls (It has risen well above 50% today)  33 percent of clergy say they have visited a sexually explicit website  Of those who have visited sexually explicit websites, 53% say they have visited the sites a few times in the past year; 18% of clergy said they visited explicit websites between “a couple of times a month” and “more than once a week.”  Among the clergy who use Internet porn, 30% do not talk to anyone about their behavior 17

Pastors and Pornography, continued In 2000, a survey of 564 pastors showed: 40% of pastors have visited a pornographic Internet site, with over 33% doing so within the last 12 months. 75% of pastors do not make themselves accountable to anyone for their Internet use Leadershipjounal.net, “The Leadership Survey Pastors and Pornography.” 18

Helping Others UNDERSTANDING THE “PROBLEM” Underlying issues 19

Not all use is “addiction” Situational use is the doorway. These individuals are simply surrendering to temptation Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ADHD 20

Sexual Addiction Interferes with normal living Increases in the amount of time Increase in the graphic nature of material Thoughts of use become intrusive and individual begins to lose the ability to choose (Hardening of the Heart) 21

Common Characteristics Shame Other addictive history Poor stress management Dysfunctional childhood Early molestation/sexual violation Trauma survivor 22

The Path to Freedom 23

Repentance Model Objective Justification – Giving the Courage to Confess Specific Law Contrition Specific Gospel is spoken and heard. Faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins is confessed Absolution Fruits of Repentance The Joy of Christian Living (cf. Psalm 32) 24

Need for Consistent Strategy The problem has its deepest roots in youth The problem is present in different forms at different stages A multi-staged approach to the problem will make dealing with the issue a more natural process The consistent multi staged approach will help combat the sexualized culture in which we live 25

Encouragement Partners and Accountablity Software Brother to Brother --- Sister to Sister – In the Word Together – Honesty – Gospel – Oriented -- To Offer Hope – Always Available Accountability Software – Covenanteyes.com – Other Social Media? 26

Stages of Prevention Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary – Three Stage Restoration Process WELS Colleges – MLC – WLC WELS Prep Schools and Area Lutheran High Schools WELS Lutheran Elementary Schools Parental New Website Coming from the WELS Social Media Task Force – Watch for it by 12/12. 27

Referral Information – Ministry – BPS – Commission on Special Ministries Committee on Mental Health Needs When to Refer Ask a Therapist Christian or Non-Christian Counselor? Models of Therapy and its Glossary Christian Family Counseling Member Assistance Program – MAP (Wisconsin Lutheran Child and Family Services) 28

Pastoral Counseling:  Repentance  Forgiveness  Hope  In the Word  Encouragement Groups  Professional Counseling  12 step groups  WLS Restoration Process – 12 months free prior to call day with counseling  Confidentiality  Breaking the Cycle 29

Breaking the Cycle Paul Mavrogeorge The following slide can be used as a template to counsel anyone with any addiction, or even to counsel almost any area of sanctification. This is the work of Paul Mavrogeorge from his book, Breaking the Cycle. 30

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WLS Restoration Process  See handout  Three Stages 1.Prevention 2.Personal Problem-solving 3.Requested Intervention 32

How Can Districts Set Up A Restoration Process for Called Workers? For Members? Contact: WELS Committee On Mental Health Needs – Social Media Task Force through the WELS Commission on Special Ministries or Professor Alan Siggelkow Key Stages - Always Confidential (Model is the WLS Restoration Process) – Scripture – Law and Gospel – Prevention: Information that Addresses and Warns Regarding The Issue – Personal Responsibility Encouragement Partners Accountability Software – Professional Counseling – Requested Intervention: For the Good of the Ministry Contact District President – Brother to Brother or Sister to Sister Mentoring – Time To Address The Issue – In Recovery For A Set Length of Time If The Recovery Experience Is Negative, Leaving The Ministry May Be The Only Action For The Good Of The Ministry 33

Look For WELS Social Media Task Force Website – Warnings – Help for Self – Help for Others – Areas for: Parents Teens Young Adults Called Workers Pastors Counselors 34