Human Adjustment John W. Santrock Chapter 9: Adult Lifestyles McGraw-Hill © 2006 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Chapter Outline The Diversity of Adult Lifestyles The Family Life Cycle Parenting McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Learning Objectives 1. Discuss diversity of adult lifestyles and how they affect people’s lives 2. Describe the family life cycle 3. Discuss parenting and how it affects children’s adjustment McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

THE DIVERSITY OF ADULT LIFESTYLES Single Adults Living Alone Cohabiting Adults Married Adults Divorced Adults Remarried Adults Gay and Lesbian Relationships McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Single Adults Living Alone Percentage of single adults who live alone has increased from 8% in 1970 to 25% in 2000 McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Single Adults Living Alone Common problems of single adults include: forming intimate relationships with other adults confronting loneliness finding a niche in a society that is marriage oriented McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Single Adults Living Alone Advantages of being single include: time to make decisions about one’s life course time to develop personal resources to meet goals freedom to make autonomous decisions freedom to pursue one’s own schedule and interests opportunities to explore new places and things McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Cohabiting Adults Cohabitation - living together in a sexual relationship without being married Percentage of U.S. couples who cohabit before marriage has increased from 11% in 1970 to 60% in 2000 Cohabitation leads to no differences in marriage or is not good for a marriage McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Married Adults In 2002, 95% of U.S. adults had been married at least once by age 55 Currently 60% of U.S. adults are married In 2002, average age for first marriage was 27 years for men and 25 for women About 50% of marriages end in divorce McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Finding a Partner The most described traits desired in a spouse vary around the world In the U.S., emotional depth and ability to communicate are viewed as important characteristics of a spouse McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Marital Expectations and Myths Marriage therapists believe it is important to have realistic expectations about marriage Myths about marriage include: Affairs are the main reason people get divorced Men are not biologically made for marriage Men are from Mars and women are from Venus McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Adjustment Strategies for Making Marriages Work 1. Establish love maps 2. Nurture fondness and admiration 3. Turn toward each other instead of away 4. Let your partner influence you 5. Solve solvable conflicts 6. Overcome gridlock 7. Create shared meaning McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Dealing with Conflict Typical areas of marital conflict include: work stress in-laws money sex housework new baby McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Dealing with Conflict John Gottman (1994) - resolving conflicts works best when couples: start out solving the problem with a soft approach are motivated to repair the relationship regulate their emotions compromise are tolerant of each other’s faults McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Benefits of a Good Marriage Individuals who are happily married live longer, healthier lives than either divorced individuals or those who are unhappily married McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Divorced Adults In the U.S., the divorce rate increased from the 1960s through the mid-1980s but has since been declining McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Timing of Divorce If a divorce is going to occur, it often takes place early in a marriage Most likely time for divorce to occur is fifth to tenth year of marriage McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Stresses of Divorce Both divorced women and divorced men complain of: loneliness diminished self-esteem anxiety difficulty in forming satisfactory new intimate relationships Divorce places both men and women at risk for psychological and physical difficulties McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Coping with Divorce Hetherington and Kelly (2002) identified factors that enable divorced adults to cope effectively: social maturity autonomy internal locus of control religiosity work social support a new intimate relationship McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Diversity of Post-divorce Pathways Six common pathways people’s lives can take after a divorce: the enhancers the good enoughs the seekers the libertines the competent loners the defeated McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Adjustment Strategies for Divorced Adults 1. Look at divorce as an opportunity for personal growth and to build more fulfilling relationships. 2. Think carefully about your choices 3. Focus more on the future than the past 4. Capitalize on your strengths and the resources available to you 5. Don’t expect to be successful and happy in everything you do 6. You are never trapped by one pathway McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Remarried Adults On average, divorced adults remarry within four years of their divorce The new families must: define and strengthen their marriages renegotiate the biological parent-child relationships establish stepparent-stepchild and stepsibling relationships McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Adjustment Strategies for Remarried Adults 1. Have realistic expectations 2. Develop new positive relationships within the family 3. Allot time to be alone with each other 4. Learn from the first marriage 5. Don’t expect instant love from stepchildren McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Gay and Lesbian Relationships Gay and lesbian relationships are similar to heterosexual relationships in their satisfactions, loves, joys, and conflicts Children growing up in gay or lesbian families are similar in adjustment to children of heterosexual families McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Review - Learning Goal 1 What characterizes single adults? What are the lives of cohabiting adults like? What are some key aspects of the lives of married adults? How is divorce linked with the adjustment of adults and children? What are the lives of remarried parents like? What characterizes the relationships of gay and lesbian couples? McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

THE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE Leaving Home The New Couple Becoming a Family with Children The Family with Adolescents Midlife Families Families in Later Life McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Family Life Cycle The family life cycle consists of 6 stages: 1. Leaving home (single young adults) 2. The new couple (joining families through marriage) 3. Becoming a family with children 4. The family with adolescents 5. Midlife families 6. Families in later life McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Leaving Home Leaving home and becoming a single adult is first stage in family life cycle Launching - process in which youths move into adulthood and exit their family of origin McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The New Couple Forming the new couple is the second stage in the family life cycle It is the union of two individuals from separate families McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Becoming a Family with Children Becoming parents and a family with children is the third stage in the family life cycle Parents become caregivers to the younger generation A baby places restrictions on parents Parents must juggle roles as parents, spouses, and self-actualizing adults McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Family with Adolescents The family with adolescents is the fourth stage of the family cycle Adolescence is a period in which individuals push for autonomy and seek to develop their own identity Most parent-adolescent conflict is modest McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Old and New Models of Parent-adolescent Relationships Old Model New Model Autonomy, detachment from parents; parent and peer worlds are isolated Intense, stressful conflict throughout adolescence; parent-adolescent relationships are filled with storm and stress on virtually a daily basis Attachment and autonomy; parents are important support systems and attachment figures; parent and peer worlds have some important connections Moderate parent-adolescent conflict common; conflict greater in early adolescence, especially during the apex of puberty McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Adjustment Strategies for Parenting Adolescents 1. Show them warmth and respect, and avoid tendency to be too controlling or too permissive 2. Demonstrate sustained interest in their lives 3. Understand and adapt to their cognitive and socioemotional development 4. Communicate expectations for high standards of conduct and achievement 5. Display constructive ways of dealing with problems 6. Adolescents don’t become adults overnight McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Midlife Families The family at midlife is the fifth stage in the family life cycle This is a time of launching children, linking generations, and adapting to midlife changes McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Empty Nest and Its Refilling Empty nest syndrome - decrease in marital satisfaction and increase in feelings of emptiness brought about by children’s departure Most parents eventually experience an increase in marital satisfaction after their children have left home When adult children return home to live, both parents and the adult children must make adjustments McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Intergenerational Relationships Both similarities and dissimilarities across generations have been reported Similarity between parents and an adult child is most likely in religion and politics Similarity is least likely in gender roles, lifestyle, and work orientation McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Families in Later Life The family in later life is the sixth and final stage in the family life cycle Retirement and grandparenting are features of this stage McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Families in Later Life Marital happiness among older adults depends on each partner’s ability to deal with: personal conflicts aging illness eventual death McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Review - Learning Goal 2 What is the first stage of the family life cycle? What is the stage of finding a partner like? How can the third stage be characterized? What is the fourth stage of the family life cycle? How can the fifth stage be described? What is the sixth stage of the family life cycle? McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

PARENTING Timing of Parenthood Parenting Styles Working Parents Children in Divorced Families Ethnicity and Parenting Child Abuse McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Timing of Parenthood Advantages of having children early (in their 20s): parents have more physical energy mother has fewer problems with pregnancy and childbirth parents less likely to build up expectations McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Timing of Parenthood Advantages of having children later (in their 30s): parents have more time to consider their goals in life parents more mature parents able to benefit from their experiences to engage in more competent parenting parents better established in their careers and have more income McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Parenting Styles Diana Baumrind (1971) identified 4 parenting styles: Authoritarian parenting Authoritative parenting Neglectful parenting Indulgent parenting Positive links exist between authoritative parenting and the well-being of children McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Figure 9.8 Classification of Parenting Styles McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Adjustment Strategies for Effective Parenting 1. Use authoritative parenting 2. Understand that parenting takes time and effort 3. Be a good manager 4. Don’t use physical punishment in disciplining children McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Working Parents Research finds no detrimental effects of maternal employment on children’s development When a child’s mother works in first year of life, it can have a negative effect on the child’s later development McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Children in Divorced Families Children from divorced families show poorer adjustment than children in non-divorced families McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Adjustment Strategies for Communicating with Children about Divorce 1. Explain the separation in a sensitive way 2. Explain that the separation is not the child’s fault 3. Explain that it may take time to feel better 4. Keep the door open for further discussion 5. Provide as much continuity as possible 6. Provide support for your children McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Ethnicity and Parenting Large families and extended families are more common among minority groups: Latino families - 19% have 3 or more children African-American families - 14% have 3 or more children White families - 10% have 3 or more children African-American and Latino children interact more with extended family than do White children McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Child Abuse Four types of child maltreatment are: Physical abuse - infliction of physical injury Child neglect - failure to provide for child’s basic needs Sexual abuse - sexual contact with child Emotional abuse - anything that could cause behavioral, cognitive, or emotional problems McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Cultural Context of Abuse About one-third of parents who were abused as children abuse their own children McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Consequences of Abuse Consequences of child maltreatment include problems in: emotion regulation attachment peer relations school psychological problems McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Review - Learning Goal 3 Is there an ideal time to have children? What are the main parenting styles and which is most effective? How are children affected by having working parents? What characterizes children in divorced families? How is ethnicity related to parenting children? What is the nature of child abuse? McGraw-Hill ©2006 by the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.