Use the ABCDE Strategy to build resilience. © Paul T. P. Wong Life Lesson 9: How do I overcome adversity?

Overview Life is full of suffering Need to develop a tragic sense of life Need realistic stress appraisal Need to understand the Resource- Congruence Model Frankl’s concept of Tragic Optimism The ABCDE Intervention

Have a Tragic Sense of Life “In this world you will have trouble.” - Jesus The first noble truth of Buddhism: Life is full of suffering Every life is touched by tragedy Having a tragic sense of life offers you the best preparation for the tragedies of life

A tragic sense of life is an effective inoculation against tragedies.

What matters most is how you react to adversity.

3 Common Responses to Adversity 1) Catastrophizing: Creating unnecessary anxieties & suffering 2) Trivializing: Ignoring the real danger & believing in delusions 3) Assessing it rationally: Appraising the situation realistically

Importance of Appraisal Primary appraisal – Is it neutral, beneficial, or harmful? Secondary appraisal – Is it controllable by self, by others or beyond human control? Reappraisal – Have I under- or over- estimated my ability to manage the situation? (As measured by Stress Appraisal Measure)

Resource-Congruence Model Do I have the needed resources (external & internal)? Do I have the appropriate coping responses? If the answer to both is affirmative, then we don’t experience stress

A Case of Exaggerated Appraisal: The Process of Catastrophizing

Coping with Real Trauma Religious coping Existential coping Re-telling the story Practicing tragic optimism

Components of Tragic Optimism (TO) Acceptance of the bleak reality Belief in the value and meaning of life Self-transcendence (altruism) Faith in God and others Courage to face adversity

The Power of Acceptance Accept what cannot be changed Accept responsibility not for what has happened but for how to cope Learn to let go in order to move forward

Self-transcendence enhances the well-being of both self and others.

Courage empowers you to expand your hope beyond the walls that confine you.

A Good Example of Tragic Optimism

ABCDE Intervention Accept and confront reality – the reality principle Believe that life is worth living – the faith principle Commit to goals and actions – the action principle Discover the meaning and significance of self and situations – the Aha! Principle Evaluate the above – the self-regulation principle

The Power of Acceptance

The Power of Belief

Commitment = Passion + Action + Persistence

The Joy of Self-Discovery Learning something new about the self and life Digging deeper, exploring further, and higher. Discovering one’s hidden talents and strength. Discovering the power of faith and spiritual resources. Grasping the complexities of life and people.

Enjoyment & Evaluation Savoring small successes and re-assessing one’s progress Feeling relief that the worst is over Monitoring progress Savoring the moments of small success Reflecting and reviewing one’s life Receiving feedback from others Conducting assessments and making adjustments

Growing Stronger through Struggle

Adversity provides a better foundation for life than prosperity.