Mentoring For Life Change

Christian ministry was never meant to be a solo journey!

Exodus 17:10-12 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up - one on one side, one on the other - so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up - one on one side, one on the other - so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

Never before have I been more convinced that adult Christians need to form personal friendships with those who share our commitments and values. Gordon MacDonald

Why Mentoring??? I need regular contact with a friend who keeps me close to Jesus and continues to call me to faithfulness. Henri Nouwen

Mentoring in Business Help protégé climb ladder Older and more experienced Clear way; smooth bumps Trusted guide who helps others 1

Mentoring in the Bible If all you had was 2 Timothy 1:1-8, what insights would you have for mentoring? 2

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, according to the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. 2 Timothy 1:1-8

5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. 6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, according to the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. Paul: An Example (2 Tim 1) Paul Thanks God for Timothy

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, according to the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. Paul: An Example (2 Tim 1) Paul Prays for Timothy

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, according to the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, 2 To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. 4 Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. Paul: An Example (2 Tim 1) Paul Longs to Be With Timothy

5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. 6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. Paul Knows About His Life

5 I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. 6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 8 So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. Paul Speaks Into His Life

Mentoring Defined Mentoring is a relational experience where one person empowers another by sharing God-given resources (wisdom, experience, patterns, habits of obedience and principles) with them. 3

Mentoring Defined Through the years, prayer, Bible study, share group participation and regular worship have been important to me. But never has anything been as powerfully important to me as having a spiritual friend. David Stone

Mentoring Defined A mentor is a tutor, coach, counselor, guide, and friend. It is someone whose experiences, insights, qualities and characteristics are transferred to someone else, facilitating that person's growth and development.

Mentoring Networks We need a network of mentor relationships: * Vertical (mentor or mentoree) AND * Horizontal (co-mentor) 4

Mentoring Networks We need Upward Mentors, who have gone before us and can show the way...

Mentoring Networks...Downward Mentorees, who shake our complacency, renew our convictions, keep us on our toes, and multiply our ministry for God’s kingdom...

Mentoring Networks...and Peer Co-mentors, who know us, identify with us, and provide mutual stimulation and personal accountability.

Mentoring Networks Paul’s Mentor Relationships: Mentors: Gamaliel and Barnabas Mentorees: Timothy and Titus Co-Mentors: Partners

My Paul My Timothy My Barnabas ME ???

Types of Mentors Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships We Need To Succeed Paul Stanley 5

Types of Mentors IntensiveOccasionalPassive More DeliberateLess Deliberate

Discipler Teaches and enables a mentoree in the basics of following Christ. Spiritual Guide A godly, mature follower of Christ who shares knowledge, skills, and basic philosophy on what it means to increasingly realize Christlikeness in all areas of life. Coach A person who knows how to do something well, provides motivation and imparts skills to a mentoree to equip them to complete a task. Counsellor A person who gives timely advice and impartial perspective on the mentoree's view of self, others, circumstances, and ministry. Teacher A person who imparts knowledge and understanding of a particular subject. Sponsor A person with credibility and authority within an organisation who enables the development of the mentoree and their influence in the organisation. Historical Model A person now dead whose life or ministry is written in a biographical form and is used as an example to indirectly impart skills, principles, and values that empower another person. Contemporary Model A living person whose life or ministry is used as an example to indirectly impart skills, principles, and values that empower another person.

Fill in your chart!

An acquaintance is a person you know casually and share information with. A friend is a person you know well and with whom you practise “one anothering”. A close buddy is a person you share accountability and common goals with.

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Finding a Mentoree 1. Pray for a mentoree 2. Look for potential mentorees 3. Approach a potential mentoree 4. Arrange to meet regularly

The Mentoring Role 1. Caring Enough to Affirm Building up! Hebrews 10:24 2. Loving Enough to Wound Tearing Down! Proverbs 27:5-6 6

The Mentoring Role Spiritual health demands a friend who will walk alongside us, speak truth to us (even when it hurts), and keep us honest in our relationships with God and with other people. Paul Borthwick

Mentoring Commands 1. Establish the mentoring 2. Agree on the purpose of relating 3. Determine regularity of meeting 4. Determine type of accountability 5. Set up communication mechanisms 7

Mentoring Commands 6. Clarify the level of confidentiality 7. Set life cycle of the relationship 8. Evaluate relationship periodically 9. Modify expectations to reality 10. Bring closure to the relationship

A Mentoring Plan 1. Meet once a week for an hour 2. Catch up on each other’s lives 3. Ask probing questions 4. Spend time in prayer 5. Offer regular check ins 6. Spend informal time together 8

Mentoring Resources Connecting by Paul D. Stanley As Iron Sharpens Iron by Howard and William Hendricks Questions for Accountability Milkshakes at McDonalds Coffee at House of Coffees

Accountability Qs 1. Did I spend significant time in prayer and study this week? 2. Did I pray for the others, the church, ongoing concerns? 9

Accountability Qs 3. Did I make my partner feel special and loved this week? Did they get quality time alone with me this week? 4. Did I make my kids feel special and loved? Did each kid get quality time alone with me this week?

Accountability Qs 5. Did I take time for myself? Did I read, play, get away, etc? 6. Did I put myself in an awkward situation with a person of the opposite sex this week?

Accountability Qs 7. Did I compromise my personal integrity this week? 8. What one sin most plagued me in my walk with God this week? What steps am I taking to overcome it?

Accountability Qs 9. Am I financially responsible with what the Lord has given me, am I spending my money in a way that reflects His priorities? 10. What is God trying to teach me this week? Where do I need to grow?

Sharing Scripture

Prayer

Encouragement

Assistance With help!

Closing Challenge What will do you with what you have heard today? Which area of mentoring do you need to develop in? Which dimension will you develop first: up, down, sideways? 10