Chapter 4 The Competent Communicator

Chapter 4 The competent communicator Objectives: Define competent communication Describe the five communication acts Provide examplesof speaking and listening for each of the five communication acts Explain the four competency steps and describe how a competent communicator uses each of them. Competent Communication Five Communication Acts Speaking and Listening Examples Four Competency Steps

Competent Communication

Communicating competently… Everyone can talk and hear. Good communication takes effort. Competent means “well qualified and capable.” Competent communicators have knowledge and skills in communication. They develop a number of ways to deal with new communication situations. They follow certain steps in order to reach their communication goals. Communicators Competent communicators always seem to know what to say or do in any situation. They also know how to improve their knowledge and communication skills.

What are the reasons we communicate? To get information To tell someone something To find out how to do something To learn things I didn’t know before To persuade someone to do or believe something To show someone I care about them To make up my mind on a debatable subject To enjoy myself by talking with others To test new ideas information reflection persuasion emotions deliberation

Five Communication Acts

Communication Acts Sharing Information Feelings Persuasion Social Imagination Communication acts describe the major reasons for communicating. The five acts are: Sharing information Discussing feelings Managing persuasion Following social rituals Using imagination Sharing information serves as the basis for all speaking and listening.

Sharing Information Feelings Share Concern Let them express Listen and understand Discussing feelings involves personal effort and risk taking by both speaker and listener. Most people are not comfortable talking about feelings. We have learned to talk about ideas, not feelings. I think… or I feel we should…

I feel embarrased when… I feel happy when… I feel embarrased when… I feel angry when… I feel scared when… I feel jealous when… I feel silly when…

Sharing Information Persuasion Question/ Arguement Analyze Messages Reach Agreement Persuasion is part of our everyday life.

Persuasion Examples Advertising Inspiration Motivation

Journal Entry Write about five persuasive situations that you have observed or experienced. How did you act (or react) in the situations and how, if at all different, might a ‘competent communicator’ act in these situations? (ref. pg. 77)

Sharing Information Social Rituals Verbal Nonverbal Greetings Small Talk Keeping Secrets Formal & Informal

Social Rituals Making and acknowledging introductions Making and receiving telephone calls Asking Questions Interrupting, apologizing, greetings, etc. Making conversation

Social Ritual Examples Introducing a stranger… Asking a question in class… Ending a friendly conversation… Calling a friend on the phone… Asking the time of day… Asking someone to dance… What other examples can you think of?

Social Ritual Examples Brains Origins of Small Talk Job Interview

Journal Entry Choose a social ritual and observe someone engaging in it. Predict what you expect to see. Afterwards, desribe what happened and note anything you noticed that was surprising or unusual. (ref. pg. 80)

Sharing Information Imagination Telling Stories Acting Drama Problem Solving

Imagination Examples New mouse

Journal Entry When do you find yourself situations involving dramatic imagination? Make a list of several… (ref. pg. 84)

Sharing Information Feelings Persuasion Social Imagination

Listening and Speaking Examples What type of communication act or acts are exhibited in these movie clips? Pursuit of Happyness Armegeaddan

Four Competency Steps

1. Thinking of Strategies Communication strategies are the verbal and nonverbal messages created to reach a specific goal. Experience gives your more strategies to cope with communication difficulties. The competent communicator thinks up a number of possible ways to deal with a situation.

Strategies you’ve used? To gain a later curfew? I plead for an extra half hour. I inform my parent(s) I’m too old for this type of curfew. I explain that my friends parents do not give them a curfew. I try to convince my parent(s) that this is a very special occasion. I volunteer to help around the house tomorrow. I promise I will never ask for a curfew change again. I threaten to go live with my best friend’s family. I remind my parent(s) how responsible I have been in the past. I stop speaking to my parent(s). I slam doors and sulk around the house. Did your strategy leave both you and your parents satisfied?

2. Selecting a Strategy Once you’ve thought of a few ways to handle the problem or situation, consider the specifics… Think about the who, what, where, and when.

2. Selecting a Strategy Who – what do you know about the person. Think about your past and future relationship with the person. Where – how will the place or other people affect the discussion. What – think about the importance of the topic to you and the person. When – think about the best time to discuss the topic, whether its now or at a later time.

Journal Entry Examine the situations on page 89 “Interact” and think of the who, what, when and where that would affect the communication strategies.

3. Acting on the Strategy Now what? Ever felt like you knew exactly what to say or do but did nothing? Many of us think of pretty good strategies but are reluctant to finish. Selecting the strategy doesn’t do much good until you act on it. It’s one to plan to tell your friend that they hurt your feelings and another to actually say, “You hurt my feelings” or “I want you to stop teasing me.”

Being a Competent Communicator Three-step skill called, “Peer Pressure Reversal” will get you out of tough situations. Being a Competent Communicator

Preparing to be a Competent Communicator Check out the scene. First, checking out the scene involves looking and listening for anything unusual or strange in the way your friends are talking or acting. Are they in an ‘off-limits’ place, or are they trying to bribe you into doing something wrong? Second, ask yourself: “Is this trouble?” If the situation would break a law or get someone in charge mad, you are facing a trouble situation.

Preparing to be a Competent Communicator Make a good decision. To make a good decision, you need to think about two things. First, weigh both sides. Your friend(s) will tell you about the positive consequences: you must rely on yourself to consider the negative consequences. The risks involved ar usually not worth it. Second, you must make a firm decision so that the pressure won’t cause you to act weak. If you take a risk, be prepared to accept the consequences. If you decide against the trouble, you might just comvince your friend(s) not to take the risk either.

Preparing to be a Competent Communicator Act to avoid trouble. There are many ways to refuse a friend’s suggestion including saying no politely and firmly. leaving, or giving a true excuse. You can suggest a better idea and walk toward it and your frineds will often follow you! Some people can say “No” in joking ways, such as “I wish I could, but it’s my night to walk the goldfish.” And if a friend dares you, learn to return the challenge, “Are you scared to do it by yourself?” Remember to stay in control, look the person in the eyes when talking to him or her, and get out of the trouble in 30 seconds or less.

Competent communicators learn to follow through with their plans. Journal Entry How often have you planned to do something but never followed through? Some examples: Volunteer in class (answer a question, add to a discussion, etc.) Ask a salesclerk for more information Tell your parents how wonderful they are Compliment your friend Thank a teacher for help Apologize for talking badly about someone Competent communicators learn to follow through with their plans. Being Bullied

4. Evaluating the Strategy’s Effect The final step is to make judgment – to decide whether the strategy worked well. Evaluate on the terms of: Effects on you Effects on others The result And the conclusion Pursuing Happyness

Failure brings success! Evaluating For example, if you had three different strategies for an apology and chose one, did both you and the person you apologized to feel good whe you were done? Or, if you chose a joke to introduce your speech, did the class laugh? Look at the results and decide if the strategy would work in a similar situation or would you have to do something different. Consider your beliefs about right and wrong when choosing, using, and evaluating a strategy. Failure brings success!

Chapter 4 Review Page 95 1-4 Page 95-96 1-3 Page 96 Think about it Page 95 1-4 Try it out Page 95-96 1-3 Put it in writing Page 96 1 (parent or grandparent) & 2