Agenda The problem of bullying Social skills for all young people If your child is being bullied If your child is bullying others What else you can do

What is bullying? It’s with less hurting someone and repeatedly purposely power.

What’s the difference? Bullying vs. having a conflict

Bullying is EVERYONE’S problem.

The good news: Teach empathy. Boost self-esteem. Promote respect and nonviolence. You can do something about it.

FACT: It’s violence. FACT: It has lasting effects. FACT: It’s common. Bullying is just part of being a kid.

academic problems social isolation mental health problems Being bullied toughens children up. FACT: Being bullied can cause:

Being a bully has long-term consequences, too. Bullies are at higher risk for: academic problems social isolation violence and crime

All bullying is physical. FACT: Bullying can also be: indirect (relational) verbal

For the bully, it’s all about

Any child can be bullied. provocative targetspassive targets

The power of bystanders The silent majority

Bullies target “weaker” children to feel more powerful. Bullying has long-term consequences for everyone. Bullies, targets and bystanders all play a role in bullying. Check in

Social skills—the foundation for preventing bullying Make your values clear. Walk the walk.

Empathy prevents bullying behavior makes bullying unacceptable

Tips for teaching your child empathy Respect your child’s feelings. Talk about yours.

Putting empathy into action: all people deserve respect. Be a role model. Foster an open mind. Make your expectations clear.

Assertiveness standing up for yourself respecting the rights of others

“I” message: I (feel this way) when (this happens). I need (this to happen). “You” message: YOU thief! I can’t believe YOU took my book without asking me. If YOU do it again, YOU’LL be sorry.” Assertive-speak

Assertive body language Stand tall. Make eye contact. Speak firmly.

Managing emotions

Strategies for managing anger Recognize it. Calm down. Find healthy emotional outlets.

Resolving conflicts…PEACEFULLY

Challenge media messages. Watch together. Set limits. Talk about it.

Model empathy and respect. Teach assertiveness, anger management and conflict resolution skills. Check in

If your child is being bullied No news isn’t always good news. Don’t wait for your child to come to you.

changes in behavior avoiding school drop in grades missing belongings headaches and stomachaches

What would you do? Take it seriously. Empower your child. Report it.

Two common responses to bullying—and why they don’t work. “Just ignore it.” “Fight back!”

Helpful advice for your child Stay calm. Be assertive. Get help.

Staying calm and confident visualization looking confident self-talk

Defusing a bully Agree with the facts. Make a joke. Reframe it.

Which is assertive? “Stop it! You’re hurting my feelings!” b. “I don’t like you calling me names. I want you to stop now.” a.

Safety first Avoid the bully until the conflict gets resolved. Think safety in numbers. Get away and get help.

Practice makes perfect. Role play. Practice decision making.

Boost your child’s self-esteem. Emphasize the positive. Encourage your child.

Friendship is the best protection. Help your child: overcome shyness improve social skills. join in

Check in Be there for your child. Teach assertive responses to bullying. Help your child build self- esteem and make friends.

If your child is bullying Many parents feel: angry defensive.

Be firm but loving with your child. Set clear limits. Be consistent. Be loving.

Getting to the root of the problem Is my child getting enough supervision? Do family members “bully” each other? Is there stress at home?

Talk to your child— and really listen.

You can start to turn things around. Spend more time together. Model positive social skills.

Give positive alternatives. Encourage healthy interests. Turn strength into leadership. Get connected to the community.

Know when to seek help.

Focus on helping your child. Teach and reward positive behavior. Seek help. Check in

What else can I do? Support school efforts. Raise awareness. Support after-school programs. Be a role model.

Do you have any questions?